[Curlyben]

Thesorryhusband and threetimesout are the SAME person.

Sorryhusband/threetimesout, would you care to explain to EVERYONE exactly what you are playing at?

[threetimesout]

I am threetimesout... I was a little concerned about the sorryhusband... I almost thought my husband found out I was on here asking questions... can you explain what you mean

[Ash123]

What's up CB?

All good now?

A

[threetimesout]

Curlyben... can you answer me?

[Curlyben]

what's up CB?

all good now?

A

Sorry Ash, we have a PERFECT IP match for these two accounts and my experience points to this being some one playing games with us.

Shame really.

[threetimesout]

I don't appreciate you saying that I am playing games when I am going through something quite devastating in my marriage. If thesorryhusband is my husband then I am truly embarrassed that he read my post and all the advice... what is an ip match for these two accounts.

[JBeaucaire]

It means your husband is posting the responses from the same computer you are using... or you are. An IP match means it is YOUR computer posting both message sets.

Based on that, don't bother getting mad at Curly for being suspicious, OK. It's perfectly reasonable, and it has happened here on the forum before that someone posted mutliple responses with multiple accounts in the same thread just to jerk everyone around, OK?

If that's NOT you, fine, say so. But know that two sets of answers are coming from your computer.

[threetimesout]

Well it tells you how desperate he is to try an make things work... it also pisses me off that while he was home then yesterday morning he chose to sit at the computer doing god knows what else... thank you for answering me.

[threetimesout]

I saw somewhere that I could block the user... I will do that and then confront him... now I feel embarrassed... he knows everything and I still no nothing.

[clhend]

If your husband has in fact been reading and posting here (on the "sly") I don't think it necessarily means that he's wanting to work on the marriage. It speaks more of manipulation and avoidance... it also may be a way of trying to "control" you. Be careful.

[Ash123]

The dysfunction continues...

Get thee to a new life.

Or stay and live this joke of a marriage forever...

[JBeaucaire]

If his posts were sincere attempts to keep you two talking, I think THAT'S the most important point to be made here. Marriage is supposed to be stronger than the issues.

It is.

Anyway, if this is really just someone having fun with us, nothing can be done. I stand by all I've recommended so far and I will be adding nothing more to this thread.

[SHERRYANDGREG]

OMG! I can't believe everything I have read in these six pages! Just because your husband enjoys looking at porn does not mean you should leave him! And so what if he has been posting on your thread. He doesn't have a right to answer something that concerns him?

When you say teen porn I am assuming you are talking about sites with 18+ girls? Girls any younger are illegal and if you believe they are younger you should report the site. 18, 19 and 20 are young girls however there is nothing illegal about that and last time I checked most sites have young girls on them. I have not met many men who like to look at older woman on porn sites!

Now to the whole sex and porn issue. Have you ever tried surfing the internet with your husband to look at the porn? Have you ever watched a porn movie together? I know you said your not a prude so if not why not try to indulge him in his fantasy. Everyone has a fantasy and what better person to enjoy it with or be able to communicate about it then with your spouse. Maybe if you watch a movie with him or sit next to him next time he decides to surf it will be you reaping the benefits of his excitement and not his hand!

Never give up on a marriage just because the sex has fallen off! Try something new. It just means you two have gotten comfortable together and need some new things to spice up the relationship. There are plenty of things you can try. Adult toys, lotions, and guess what, Porn!

Please do not take any of this as it's just another man's opinion. It is not. I am a thirty year old woman who watches porn with her husband. It does not make me sick or addicted to porn. It makes me enjoy making my husband happy and making our relationship happy. Please give it a try sometime.

[thesorryhusband]

Yes everyone thesorry husband is her husband I have been trying to get her to forgive me about looking at porn on the internet I have tried just about everything but she says she can't get the thought out of her head about me looking at it. She says she wants a separation but she won't talk about how we will do it.. I have stopped looking at porn and have no desire to do it again I am glad she caught me in away because it helped me realize that I did have a problem I wish that I could go back in time and change all of it but I can't I do love my wife and do want things to work out between us but she wants nothing to do with me I can't blame her because I haven't been a very good husband she means the world to me she says I am addicted to it but I was addicted to drugs and alcohol when I met here and ihave been clean of drugs for about 4 years and have the occasional drink when we go out I JUST WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE MY WIFE AND HOPE TO RESOLVE THIS BAD ISSUE SO I OR WE CAN GET ON WITH THE LIFE AND HUSBAND SHE MARRIED PS ILOVE YOU THREETIMESOUT AND I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME AND I PROMMISE THAT THERE WILL BE NO MORE ADDICTIONS ACCEPT FOR THE ADDICTION I HAVE FOR YOU

[talaniman]

I have been trying to get her to forgive me

Actions do speak louder than words.

[clhend]

but she says she can't get the thought out of her head about me looking at it.

You have no idea what it does to a woman to realize that her husband is getting off through porn or fantasy rather than her. It can leave her feeling inadequate, that she doesn't measure up, that she doesn't have what it takes to turn her husband on. By indulging in porn you have basically invited other people into your bed, a place which to her should be reserved for just the two of you.

It can take a long time to heal that hurt and to restore her trust in you.

And I understand that some women don't mind porn and even share it with their husband. But for the most part that is the exception rather than the rule.

I would also advise you to get some counseling so that you can understand your addictive personality. Because an addiction signifies a lack of control, even an addiction to another person can be destructive.

[talaniman]

Because an addiction signifies a lack of control, even an addiction to another person can be destructive.

The sorr husband
Actually addiction is a symptom of a deeper problem that has to be identified, and addressed, and until you do both, I don't think, either of you will be happy, and you most certainly will not be healthy. No shame in getting help, for yourself. Being sorry is not enough.

[karinalatina]

Ok I Understand Your Point Of View I Really Do But I Think Your Blowing This A Little Out Of Proportion I Could Understand You Being Mad Because He Didn't Say The Truth I Mean He Should Be Able To Open Up To You But Understand While Your Almost Divorcing Him Because Of That Lie How Do You Think Hes Going To Tell You The Truth Knowing You Don't Like Him Watching Porn. Maybe Hes Embarrassed To Open Up To You I B Een With My Husband For Four Years And I Was Secretly Watching Porn Behind His Back Until I Told Him That I Liked To Watch Porn Didn't Know Why But I Did And We've Watched Together And Now I Don't Feel Like Watching It No More Because I Know He Wouldn't Mind. Just Try To Talk To Him Don't Be So Negative Almost All Porn Sites Are Teens Supposedly Doesn't Necessarily Mean Hes Pedophile Or Something Like That He Probably Likes The Way They Look Try To Understand Him And Seduce Him If You Really Love Him You Know What Best Thing To Try Even If Only You Try Once In A Lifetime Buy One Of Those Seethru Lingerie And I Bet You He Will Definitely Be More Interested In You. Hope You Give This A Thought And I Hope This Really Helps.

[thesorryhusband]

From the sorry husband this is the end my wife has moved on with her life we have got separated she is on lavalife looking for someone else she is happy now she has no feelings for me all she wants is to meet someone new she is happy she got the house and did not even want too work things out with me that's a shame be cause I admitted being wrong and told her I would do anything to work it out but she doesn't want to give me the time of day I think the worst part of it all was the day before I moved out her daughter was leaveing for school (fathers day weekend) and turned to me and said see you later jerk after being there for her for the last 7 years

[JBeaucaire]

Yeah, it sucks when people hold you accountable for things, huh? Saying I'm sorry should just fix everything, huh? Especially if you're really sorry. Or really, really, REALLY sorry.

Anyway. Now you know. You don't live in a vaccuum. Sometimes the dog bites you anyway, and that's perfectly understandable.

Try to learn constructive things from all of this. There is much for you to benefit from... unless you spend a lot time grumping over her (and her choice) instead.

Tomorrow we try again, we try better.