[simoneaugie]

How common is it for a man to stay at least partially hard after he orgasms, and to be willing to continue having sex? Is partial, residual hardness of the penis a factor in wanting to continue?

[tickle]

It could be a factor in wanting to continue and probably specifies a high libido. It isn't unusual but then there is a condition called priapism whereby a man is permanently hard and is an actual medical condition, but I don't think this is what you mean. I just threw that in for good measure. 'Priapism' is named after the Greek god of fertility who was always shown with a permanently erect phallus.

It isn't rocket science. Having a man who can stay hard for an extended period and still orgasm in between is a godsend for some women with a matching high libido, or for some women it can be a very uncomfortable lifestyle or situation, which ever 'comes' first.

[MOWERMAN2468]

I would say it depends on several factors, did they just call you up for a "romp in the hay", or is it that they truly care about you, or is it simply something medically related. I would say that the keeping of the erection would probably be like fingerprints, everyone's is different in one way or another.

[kp2171]

It shows perhaps good mental state and good vascular response. But don't assume a man who goes softer is any less mentally amped for more sex... he might be absolutely interested, but the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems are at odds during this time.

The male refractory period can range from minutes to many hours, often depending on age. During this time the quality of erection might be as strong as before ejaculation, but quite often is at least partially weaker, and during this period the man isn't able to again ejaculate, even if hard. Personal experience is quality of erection after emission and ejaculation can simply be different one time to the next.

As much as we associate ejaculation and orgasm as intimate events, they are actually two separate physical responses, as is much of the mans sexual response from start to finish.

For ex, a man experiencing a weak erection might still be able to ejaculate. A person with a spinal injury might be able to attain an erection without feeling any physical pleasure from stimulation. And on and on.

So... the short answer is "no-ish"... you cannot assume a lover who stays harder than others is more interested in sex and more willing to continue mentally... but if he does stay harder he might be more willing to continue because the "opportunity" is there. Bonus round?

[Choux]

My experience is that a man loses his erection after ejaculating during intercourse. That is normal. The young ones can come back with a full erection after a relatively short period, say about 15 minutes or so.

One reason I worked so hard on my time to orgasm was that I wanted to orgasm on the first insertion and before he ejaculated. Real womanly passion is a must for a great orgiastic sex life, in my opinion.

[Xrayman]

For me it's normal to be still reasonably hard and it makes me want to continue/do it again, but it is not always true.

[simoneaugie]

Thanks for all the responses. Again I realize that I have simplified things to make my experiences fit into a neat package. People are not only different from one another but may be different from one instance to the next.

My observation is (was) that men who orgasm quickly, lose tumescence (LOVE that word) immediately afterward, and want to go home. That would mean that an erection means sex and that's all. Lack of sexual knowledge is part of it. Discomfiture with the female lying beside you is part of it too. What do you do now?

[Fr_Chuck]

Thanks for all the responses. Again I realize that I have simplified things to make my experiences fit into a neat package. People are not only different from one another but may be different from one instance to the next.

My observation is (was) that men who orgasm quickly, lose tumescence (LOVE that word) immediately afterward, and want to go home. That would mean that an erection means sex and that's all. Lack of sexual knowledge is part of it. Discomfiture with the female lying beside you is part of it too. What do ya do now?

Trying to pick my words here, what do you do? Be more picky on who you lay down with to have sex with in the first place ( not that you always have to be laying down) Know the person better first.

[Choux]

I see what you are getting at.

My husband came rather quickly, but he didn't want to get up and leave. :)

He could have some residual erection and would try to stroke for a second ejaculation or till I came, but really he needed to rest after the first ejaculation and his penis getting flaccid. After about 15 minutes he could get hard again. However, I preferred coming on the first insertion, as I mentioned.

If you are dealing with a new sex partner, I would think he might hit and run specially if he has a problem with premature ejaculation and doesn't want to deal with it at that time.

What do you do?? Lots of men like to get a notch in their belt, so to speak. You just have to assess men and not eff them too soon. Being friends first is a real plus.

[simoneaugie]

I'm happily and monogamously married to a person who smiles indulgently and lets me play with his parts as long as I like. But the phenomenon of fast and then flaccid became one of my worries when I was single. Getting to know guys and ascertain how they would be in bed became a study.

Choux, I envy you. Am working on my own speed.

The Male sexual response looks simple, yet it is much more complex than the female's response. Ironic, therefore a worthy thing to take time to explore.

[Choux]

Simone,

All in the past.

[tickle]

I had a wonderful time single. I never worried this stuff. I am not saying anyone else is, but you always knew when a guy just wanted to be with you and no one else by paying attention to his partner's orgasm before his own. It was great when the climax came almost at the same time though. It was like WOW WE DID THAT TOGETHER and could just settle in for the night and cuddle.

[topher]

Who cares, at least you can stay hard for a second round

[confusedbyitall]

Simone,

I talked with some other guys about this back in the day when I was 25 and not 39, but, in short, some guys never could stay up. Some have had a hard time going a second time even after a wait of an hour or more. A lot of guys, it seems, want to get up and leave. I'm not sure why. To this day, less so than previously, I can stay up well enough to keep going after the first climax without stopping. The first might take (be realistic, we all know guys don't all go on and on and for an hour), depending on the mood and everything, you know, a few minutes to a half hour. After that, if I were to keep going, now that I'm older, it would feel good, but I do need some time and would need to relax to hope to again without taking a little break. Playing with the parts, in a very relaxed way (and no way would I be ready to get up and leave!), would allow me to go again, for sure, and again... and it would be very nice having that intimacy. When I was younger, too, say early to mid and late 20s, if we weren't too active the day before, and had time on our hands, over that next 24 hours I have ejaculated with her 7 or 8 times on several occasions. Now we haven't gone at it nearly as much, and I wish we would, but, I would say over that same period with the same time spend in bed (or on the stairs, in the kitchen, wherever!) I could at least 4 times, if not 5 or 6, and that would include going at it, ejaculating, and staying hard after and keeping going if it were pleasurable for her... You two sound like you have a great thing going there!