[YungJay2008]

I have been sexually active for about 3 years now, with one partner. We never have any trouble, and we both enjoy it very much, but I sometimes feel that I should give my girlfriend more. She has no trouble having an orgasm during oral sex, but I want to know if there is a secret or something to a girl getting an orgasm during actual sex. I've tried finding what's called the "G-Spot", but I don't know how to tell if it is, or even if she has one. I need some help here, if anyone has answers. Ladies?

[RallyGirl]

Well, for me it is easier to orgasm either if I am on top (cowgirl style) that is not a great position for the shy girl so if you try it and she is shy hold her breasts (it's a modesty thing) or if my partner is on top (missionary style) but holding my legs back with his shoulders. These seem to be the two positions that are deepest.

So deep is good, but then there is technic, slow at first for a longer experience (thrust your hips up and down as well) and then fast only towards the end (sad fact is men usually orgasm first) so focus on her, her breathing and ask what she wants or likes.

Often just rubbing along a girls vagina, near the clitoris is very stimulating, especially if you want to make her orgasm.

So start with oral sex and fingering (no time limit just until she is hot, breathing hard and wet, then the sex (as described above with lots of rubbing along the vagina with either your penis or lower torso if you are inside the girl)

And if you do orgasm first, don't panic just go back to rubbing, fingering or oral sex until the job is done.

Personally I can orgasm from my partner rubbing his penis along my vagina as he is orgasming or post the event. He's throws of passion or thrusts as he orgasms, often are exciting to me, it's a vibration/friction/rubbing thing, I think.

Also if you are fingering or having oral sex rub along the clitoris and into the vagina staying along the front wall (it is most sensitive at the opening of the vagina "it looks like a little rasberry, if she pushes out" rub it firmly and then deep in side, use two fingers for pressure (I'm a squirter, so this often makes me orgasm.) This kind of thing can be replicated with the penis during sex, to get your desired outcome.

Importantly, it is about timing, she needs to be well hydrated, not tired, not needing to go pee, feeling sexy and wanted and have loads of foreplay... Good Luck and have fun!

[Choux]

I think you need to have experience with more partners... after all, you aren't married, are you?

Being young is the time for exploring, for having triumphs and failures. *For learning*!

It would be a very good experience for you to make love with a woman with mature sexuality... you don't want to spend a lot of time being a sex "mechanic" trying to fix an unhappy woman. This is stunting your sexual growth, in my opinion.

[Synnen]

Whoa--you think she's "stunting" him because he wants to give her more?

I think they're just fine, here.

To the OP: ASK her. Be insistant that she tell you what her favorite stimuli are. Have her SHOW you what works for her.

I think it's great that you are looking for ways to please your mate. Try hitting up a book store together and reading either self-help books for sex (She Comes First is a great example) or getting erotica to read together.

The biggest thing, though, is keeping communication open between you.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, going out to find more partners is about the most stupid thing I have ever heard since it would ruin a good relationship that you already have.

And yes, there has to be talking, trying various positions and honest, really honest discussion on what is feeling good and what is feeling great.

[kp2171]

Choux... wow... really??

Exploring ways to better please a partner is stunting his growth? Man, I've been doing it all wrong. I thought open communication and discovery with a partner was growth. He never said she was unhappy. That was your interjection.

So I should have stuck with the girl who was easiest to get off.

And he should cut and run because she's work.

Hmmmm... I thought I was recently told I was wrong for stating this is something which commonly gets thrown into these threads... run away when its work...

Wow.

[Choux]

Three years, he's beating a dead horse.

There is so much to life, time to experience it!!

Live and Learn,

Mary Sue :)

By the way, find someone else to gang up on... :D

[kp2171]

Ignore choux...

You have a serious relationship with a woman. That sex doesn't mesh perfectly and you want to improve it is fine.

Sure... there are times when its good to know when to walk away... but you've come here seeking help and that's a good sign. Kudos to you.

Choux demands women take control of their sexuality, but here tells you to leave. Mkay.

Why do they contradict?? A woman who knows no better and a man who is willing to learn is possibly a good combination. Choux's advice to screw other women since you are young is likely jaded by her own personal experience of being divorced, alone, and home bound.

Don't fall for it.

I've been in relationships where I've done all the heavy lifting. It doesn't work if its one sided.

But I've also been with women who didn't understand their sexuality completely without further exploration and effort. Not all women have difficulty with orgasn due to mental blocks. But some do. Unfortunately, some members here would have you believe it's their way or no way.

Bull$hit.

Props for you for being a stand up man. For being a man.