[elisa4u]

I met this wonderful guy on-line a couple of months ago and we clicked instantly. Had a lot in common, mutual physical attraction and spent what time we could together because we are both legally separated. This is the first intimate relationship I have been in since my separation. He had dated a few woman and initially ask me that I not hurt him which I had no intention of doing. We even agreed that the sex we had was the best it had been in awhile. The passion was there but I soon became very needy and emotional with him which is so unlike me. He told me he loved me and we both felt like we were in high school again. I found out I was going through the "change" which explained why my behavior that was all over the place. If I had read and knew then what I know now about not sending e-cards or emails or asking what guys thoughts are about being in a relationship I would not be writing this message right now. Where was this great information a month ago? I became agitated when he didn't call or show up one Friday night and then did what I was not suppose to do! I sent him an email that I knew would elicit a response and basically "Thanked him for making it crystal clear why his ex left him". (She literally thought he was the devil yet she got involved with a younger guy in their church. Crazy). He sent me a reply as quick as I could blink and asked me why I sent that and it was wrong and I didn't know his ex and he thought I was better than that. I replied with "Touche'". I was so angry. Each day that passes seems like eternity. Every song I hear reminds me of him in some way and every feeling I have in my heart asks for forgiveness. I do not plan on emailing or phoning but have pondered the idea of driving over to his place one day maybe in a month or two, maybe sooner after he get's off work - I haven't thought past that and what I would say probably because I don't know what could happen. I know what I would like to have happen. I guess it is the fear of the unknown. I am lost about the next steps and am trying to take it one day at a time, hoping I will see a sign somewhere along the road that tells me what I should do.

[jolienoire]

I truly think you reacted based on your past relationship you are mentally recovering from a separation making your tolerance level very low. Maybe you perhaps were use to broken promises, and therefore when he didn't show or call you became frustrated because you were hoping for something different, something unfamiliar from your past relationship, Someone who cared about you who want to spend the time with you and stick to their word. Which is understandable, How do you fix this? Communication, but this time not via email, but face to face, if the feelings were mutual and you truly explain your intentionsand your reaction then you can have some closure but don't seem desperate let him know how you reacted because you didn't want to get hurt, whether he is willing to look past it is up to him, but at least the "what if" will be over with and then you can learn from this. Be honest with your true feelings, and you have to be willing to accept his final decision but you need to communicate to him ASAP, it isn't fair to waltz in his life one to two months from now apologizing for your behavior by this point he could simply have moved. Try to fix this now..

[talaniman]

hoping I will see a sign somewhere along the road that tells me what I should do.

Your behavior is the sign you need to heed, and work on yourself. No excuses.