[giani513]

Wow... Power to the women!! Yeah guys suck... They should only come around when we want to have sex. Hostile acts, immature...

That's what this sounds like... that it is her husband problem.

What if that while he's at work, all he can think about is how attractive his wife is and can't wait to get home to her? Is that hostile? I'm a stay-at-home dad. I think about my wife all day long with fantasy after fantasy playing in my head. The only problem is my wife ignores my sexual needs. It's been almost a month since we last had sex. But since I'm a guy, I guess I'm at fault. Maybe I am addicted to sex and need counseling. I should probably talk to my wife too. If you agree that I need counseling or I need to talk to her, please note that this is my only complaint about my marriage, but it's getting to be a big complaint. I tell my wife about six times a year that we don't have enough sex. I even told her that I would probably be happy with sex twice a month (even though three to four times a week would be much better), yet it's still the same. Yes, I am sexually frustrated to the point that I fantasize about leaving my wife or dating someone that will give me the sexual attention that my wife refuses. I am not a cheater. I love my wife and would never do that to her. So where does that leave me?

[donf]

Giani,

Here's your official, pity pot.

What do you think could be the cause of your sexual misery? Could it be that it might be your behavior or your attitude towards your wife.

May I suggest maybe a little romance or consideration for her might be in order!

[giani513]

So all those recent times of buying flowers and telling her how beautiful she is on a regular basis (and actually meaning it) isn't showing romance? It just seems that no matter what it is the husband that needs to change or is always at fault. I'm the one that is trying to keep our marriage alive. I cook, clean, do laundry so she can relax when she gets home. Before I became a stay-at-home dad, I bought her diamond earrings because I wanted her to know how special she is to me, and it would be the last gift I could buy her with money I earned. So is my attitude towards my wife still bad? My actual attitude in my last post was for all the blame that women put on men in these posts.

[talaniman]

Hi, Giani513,
Don't be mad because you don't know how to love yourself, and make yourself happy. That's not her fault. I tell the same thing to the unhappy females also. If you had your own thread, I could go into great detail, of how your anger and frustration is misdirected at the wrong person, for the wrong reason.

[sylvan_1998]

Okay, Giani... I get what you are saying. You have tried all you know how to try and you are tired of being the bad guy. All you want is to get some from the woman you dote on and the woman you love.

I am there with you. I have been the wife with no drive and now am the wife with all the drive with a husband who has none. Again our only complaint with each other.

So with this said... Even though you do all this for your wife... do you listen, really listen, to her? Get a third party involved (counselor) to help you both communicate and then act. My husband does all you do, and says all you say, and I appreciate it. My mother did all the housework too and told me how pretty I was. Intimacy starts with spending time with each other focused on the other while talking or being. Sex will follow when you least expect it... so don't expect it!

[De Maria]

Wow...Power to the women!!! Yeah guys suck...They should only come around when we want to have sex. Hostile acts, immature....

That's what this sounds like...that it is her husband problem.

What if that while he's at work, all he can think about is how attractive his wife is and can't wait to get home to her? Is that hostile? I'm a stay-at-home dad. I think about my wife all day long with fantasy after fantasy playing in my head. The only problem is my wife ignores my sexual needs. It's been almost a month since we last had sex. But since I'm a guy, I guess I'm at fault. Maybe I am addicted to sex and need counseling. I should probably talk to my wife too. If you agree that I need counseling or I need to talk to her, please note that this is my only complaint about my marriage, but it's getting to be a big complaint. I tell my wife about six times a year that we don't have enough sex. I even told her that I would probably be happy with sex twice a month (even though three to four times a week would be much better), yet it's still the same. Yes, I am sexually frustrated to the point that I fantasize about leaving my wife or dating someone that will give me the sexual attention that my wife refuses. I am not a cheater. I love my wife and would never do that to her. So where does that leave me?

That leaves you discovering what Marriage is about. And it isn't about having sex whenever you want it. It isn't about your wife being at your beck and call. It isn't about fulfilling your lustful desires.

Its about self sacrifice and love. So, do your best to be understanding.

On the other hand, you seem to have a handle on doing the housework and the cooking. That's only fair since apparently she's having to work to pay the bills.

What I recommend, if you haven't done it already, is you ask your wife what turns her on. Some women find it hard to tell their husbands as they feel we should already know. But we don't. So, if that is the case find a book about what turns women on. Learn to pick the right times when she is at her peak sexual sensitivity. Read about massage and other "petting" techniques. If you get real good at these, you might get to the point where you have the opposite problem.

Then you'll have to learn the art of faking a headache.

Sincerely,

De Maria