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Sonador101 · May 19, 2008, 10:18 AM

I have a ten year old sister who lashes out about doing chores and cries, I think its to get attention then when I say to her "why are you crying so badly?"
She says "i miss dad!" but she only does this when there's work to be done, my mom sometimes lecures her but I need help. (our dad is:( in prison he's been there for 4 and a half years) I need her to stop using that excuse for troughing a tantrum. Not only cause shesacting like a baby but my younger sister is catching on and doing the same thing.
I now that they've been tramatized but come on, crying and screaming and refusing to do chores and blaming it on dad, just seems like an easy way to get out of chores and sticking them to me! Please I need adivice on how to handle this, wheather I should say nothing or say something I need help.

gracean11 · May 19, 2008, 10:38 AM

Hi, how old is your younger sister? Did you already explain to her the situation? And why her Dad is away? Talk to her in a very calm way, tell her she needs to help you and your mother in doing house chores.

simoneaugie · May 19, 2008, 07:28 PM

Her behavior is getting the results she wants. Missing her dad, and crying is fine. She still needs to do her chores. What does your mom think?

JoeCanada76 · May 19, 2008, 08:49 PM

It is up to your mom to deal with her not you. I know it may be hard, but do your part, and show that your willing to do chores and maybe your younger sister will follow suit. Lead by being a good sample and that is all you can do.

justcurious55 · May 19, 2008, 11:06 PM

I agree with the above, it shouldn't be your responsibility to deal with it. But leading by example is still good. And maybe you can have a heart to heart talk with your sister. Something along the lines of "hey, i know, this sucks. i miss dad too. but we still have to keep doing things here." maybe even a "dad wouldn't want to see you cry like this, it would make him sad. he wants us to be happy."

mimi03 · May 20, 2008, 07:04 AM

My 10 year old sister did the same thing 2 years ago when I was still living at home (she was 8 then) she would cry/whine about anything she didn't want to do... so I totally understand and I also understand that sometimes you may have to be responsible for your younger sister to help your mom out... so I hope this helps!

As for my sister, I realized that because she is the baby in the family she was a bit lonely (she had no play mates because of our age differences) so I sacrificed as much time as possible to develop a close relationship with her (playing games, watching cartoons with her, baking treats together, anything!)

So, when the time came for us to do things that would involve her being a responsible "big girl" it would go a lot smoother because she's developed a type of admiration and respect for me and wanted to do the chores to make me proud... which leads me to another suggestion reinforce good "big girl" behavior by complimenting her on good behavior and deeds... do your best to tell her things like: "good job!" "Thanks for picking up your toys!" "I'm so proud of you for remembering to......!" This will help her to relate doing chores with getting praise and she'll feel so much better about herself :)