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sbktu · May 12, 2008, 05:54 PM

OK I'm in love wit my best friend. I love her wit everything I got. She knows I will be there for her no matter what, and for any reason. I'm always respectful to her, and treat her wit the kindness that she deserves. Her sister approves me of actually dating her. But she always go for the excuse that I don't see you that way a good friend. Well today I actually figured out she thinks of me like a gay friend. Ummmm yeah so what do I do give in, or what?? I need Help

duck22 · May 12, 2008, 07:41 PM

I think you should take a step back and re access the situation. Is perusing her worth jeopardizing your friendship with her? From the looks of it I think she has made things clear that she does not want you as a boyfriend. Slow down and maybe spend some time away from her to clear your head. By the way, if you don't mind me asking how old are you and how long have you been friends?

Alty · May 12, 2008, 07:45 PM

She's probably afraid to date you because you're friends. If you break up then not only does she lose a boyfriend but a friend as well. If that's not the case then it's just because she only wants friendship from you. You can't force someone to fall in love with you, they either do, or they don't, love is a two way street, and right now you driving down a back alley all alone. Just be her friend, if she starts to feel differently then you'll know.

Good luck.

sbktu · May 12, 2008, 07:47 PM

Originally Posted by duck22

I think you should take a step back and re access the situation. Is perusing her worth jeopardizing your friendship with her? From the looks of it I think she has made things clear that she does not want you as a boyfriend. Slow down and maybe spend some time away from her to clear your head. By the way, if you don't mind me asking how old are you and how long have you been friends?

Ok I like your answer but she has always had problems wit guys, and I have always had problem wit women. She always gets hurt by guys treating her the way she shouldn't be treated. I'm always getting the women that use me and leave me. So I don't know My thing is that ( Strong Relationships starts as friends). I'm 20 and we have been friends for 2 years

sbktu · May 12, 2008, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

She's probably afraid to date you because you're friends. If you break up then not only does she lose a boyfriend but a friend as well. If that's not the case then it's just because she only wants friendship from you. You can't force someone to fall in love with you, they either do, or they don't, love is a two way street, and right now you driving down a back alley all alone. Just be her friend, if she starts to feel differently then you'll know.

Good luck.

OK but the thing is we have discuss about what happens if it doesn't work out. I told her I'm not going to look at her any different if it doesn't work out. The Thing is I at least should be given at chance at least to prove that I love her like I said I do. I go to the store and see couples together makes me think of her, and knowing that I make her happy and smile everyday..

Alty · May 12, 2008, 08:04 PM

Originally Posted by sbktu

ok but the thing is we have discuss about what happens if it doesnt work out. i told her im not going to look at her any different if it doesnt work out. The Thing is i at least should be given at chance at least to prove that i love her like i said i do. I go to the store and see couples together makes me think of her, and knowing that i make her happy and smile everyday..

Okay, you have said that you wouldn't think of her any differently if you two got together and then broke up. That's easy to say right now because it hasn't happened, and in the back of your mind you're probably thinking, of course I won't think of you differently if we break up, because we won't break up. She's thinking, there's a huge chance that this won't work out and then I will have lost a good friend.

I have dated guys that have remained friends of mine after the break up, but not many. Most of the guys that started as friends and then became boyfriends are not longer on speaking terms with me now. That's a fact of life.

I would take it as a compliment, she doesn't want to lose your friendship.

talaniman · May 12, 2008, 09:42 PM

But she always go for the excuse that I don't see you that way a good friend.

She has made her feelings pretty clear, and you should appreciate her honesty. You can't make a person feel what you want them to, so stop trying.

movinrightalong · May 12, 2008, 10:03 PM

I think that you must really step back and reassess where you think that this might lead to. From what I am reading, she really enjoys and respects your friendship.

Is it that love her or are in love with her? Be careful here because the two can be very easily confused. It sounds to me that she loves you in a completely platonic way and does not want to ruin that.

I know that it might sound a bit harsh but if you think about it, what guy wouldn't be really lucky to have a female as a best friend.

You said that you are not good with the ladies and she is not good with the guys. This is where you guys should be helping each other. You have a golden opportunity to have a girl for the wingman and to gain a perspective about women that only she can provide. This sounds like a very special friendship and I would hesitant to suggest that you put effort into pursuing her. I would take a guess that if you continued to chase after her, you will wind up back here heartbroken and questioning yourself as to how it could happen.

Remember, if you be yourself and she likes you as a friend for that, then keep being that way. At 20 years old, you still have so much life ahead of you to learn about women and relationships.

talaniman · May 13, 2008, 05:55 AM

Female friends are so special, and they HAVE CUTE FRIENDS TOO!