[AshleyStar]

Hi all. I'm having a low and not sure what to do. I'm draining my friends and family crying all the time and I have my finals this week so I really need to get focused and revise.

He told a mutual friend on fri that he was "really really happy" without me. He said he didn't want to reply to my texts or answer my calls because it would "mess wit his head." He dumped me by text and hasn't spoken to me since. I mean, I don't want back with him because of how h has treated me. I'm just so hurt that someone I loved so much and who I thought loved me could be so cold. And he told me last week he was so happy with me and that he loved me and wanted to be with me forever. Ahhhh! How do I get through this? I need advice desperately

[Fr_Chuck]

I am sorry, this is called living and learning and if you will read so many of our posts here sadly find this is common. The good part, assuming you are fairly young ( since you are talking finals) that you bounce back pretty easy and move on to new boys and soon forget a lot of the heartache

[bigbird213]

First: Ignore what you friend said. Might not be true, he might be trying to get at you, might have been mis-conveyed. Never listen to what was hear "through the grapevine".

Second: If he doesn't want to reply to your texts or phone calls -- stop texting and calling him. He broke up with you, chasing him will only make things worse.

Third: Since you guys broke up, you need to understand that he is obviously not he same person you thought he was. I'm sure he did care for you, but feelings have changed and you two aren't together anymore. You need to try to keep yourself busy - there's a sticky at the top of the main page for things to try to do. Check that out.

Finally: Don't think too much about what he said, did, looked like, etc right before you broke up. None of that matters and chances are your WAY overthinking it. If you look at a few of the other posts around here, almost ALL of our ex's said things just like what you heard before they dumped us. None of that matters - you need to keep your ex, and everything associated with him, out of your head.

See your friends - but don't talk about him. Do something you like to do. Change up your daily routine, go for a run, start working out, go see a movie (comedy's are good) - ANYTHING but hanging around by yourself, or with your friends focusing on him.

Your in control of what happens next - don't let him take that from you.

(BTW, here's that sticky I was talking about: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...kup-78597.html)

[nickshehe]

Much like you - I no longer recognised my ex at the break up.. The last thing she told me over the phone was that "she wanted to sleep around"... when a week ago I was all she wanted or needed in her life.
Instead of analyzing that day.. going back into the past and picking up on every nice word - remembering every kiss e.t.c
I simply laugh at how immature she was and is. Because only someone who is immature could turn 180 degrees over night, someone who is confused and unsure of what he/she wants.. It's not a bad thing - we were all young once and we don't all mature at the same time.. I just gave her more credit than she deserved.
And in my head I treat the girl I was with and the girl that she has become as two completely different people. I still love the girl I was with - and she's gone, and I'm trying to get over her.. I don't want the girl that she is now. (Notice how I use girl and not woman)
If they find happiness without us - then surely we can do the same. It hurts to know they are in others arms or simply enjoying life because they are without us - but we can only accept it. Dwelling on it means not letting go.

[talaniman]

Your story is,
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...me-213109.html
Hard as it is, not contacting him at all and not listening to his/your friends about this relationship is a good plan. Click on the links in my signature for some good suggestions, on how to move on. The second part of my suggestion is you work on your anger issues, and learn how to handle stress.

[Ash123]

You cannot get happy overnight.

BUT the good news is that every day you do not speak, text, email, you will get a tiny bit better - kind of like a river eroding a bank. You will not notice the change - and then one day - BOOM - The Grand Canyon of serenity.

Read my help guide below and hang in there!

This site is a good resource to get through the first 45 days... do not give in during that time.

[classicrocker]

Forget him. Plain and simple. Some people have way too much confidence(in the case of my ex) the best we can do is just hold our heads up because we deserve better treatment and that's the bottom line.