[falloutguy]

Hi guys. I am after a second opinion before I do something I may live to regret.

I have seen a profile of an ex girlfriend from 15 year ago on face book, through the profile of one of her friends who I get on well with. Her friend added my two days ago.

The girl and I broke up on very bad terms. I was a young lad, very much in love with her, wanted to marry her, but due to being young and naïve I let the emotional high of her being into me, blind my judgement to the relationship and I was not the most sensitive of guys. Young, inexperienced, lacking thought fullness and consideration to others feelings. Anyway, she ended the relationship, when I had to work away, due to money pressures and found someone else.

I was devastated and angry that she did this, knowing that I had no choice but to go away. It was like she deserted me when I needed her the most.

Regrettably I returned one weekend to see her and try and solve things and she had the lad there, I lost the plot in a jealous rage. I lost control over my emotions.

We have not spoken since, although she took her new lad to where I drank at the time, presumably to get at me, but that is speculation.

My Dilemma is that even after all of this time I still want to know why she did what she did? Was it because of me working away or because she felt I mistreated her?
I guess I want to put this angry and love turned to hate behind me.

(I feel her actions to be an injustice and that they were wrong and cost us a future!)

But (There is always a but) I have doubts about adding her as a friend, for a few reasons. I don’t know if I can be friends with her!
I don’t really want her knowing about my life.

But I think more importantly it should be her to make the first move! However taking into account that she ended things and has never tried to correct things then this is unlikely. (I am hurt that I had a lot more feeling for her then she for me!)

Also she may not want me to add her as a friend!

As you can see, I am a little confused as to the best way to proceed. I am hoping that you guys can provide a little insight and wisdom that I am sure I am failing to see at present.

[talaniman]

I have seen a profile of an ex girlfriend from 15 year ago on face book,

If you haven't gotten over her years ago, you have a problem. Look dude, leave the past in the past, and move on, and leave her alone. You can't turn back the clock on yesteryear. I think seeing her on Facebook or whatever has all those feelings flooding back to you. Doesn't mean you act on them.

[Jiser]

15 years, long time to hold a ""grudge"" as such. Seems like your holding up some old pent up feelings. Best to leave it in the past until you can move on from them. As tali said!

[falloutguy]

I appreciate your advice. You are right not to contact someone to re hash a past. But I know a lot of her friends and though I would sent a friend request.

The girl waited a week and declined it.

Not sure what to make of that, except that she has no interest in being friendly.. .

[falloutguy]

Another question - is it possible for ex partners to be friends ! Or does this never happen.