[AshleyStar]

My boyfriend and I have been together for four months and everything was GREAT. I really believed he loved me unconditionally and we got on so well.

However, in the past month I have been under a huge amount of stress because I'm finishing up at university. I started snapping at him loads and one night he had enough and stormed off. When I called him after a few days he told me he didn't feel the same anymore which had me devastated. A few days later he said he wanted to give it another go.

We got back together but I was conscious he had told me he didn't feel the same and there was a huge elephant in the room. He didn't want to talk about it and ended up breaking up again because I kept pushing to talk. I just wanted reassurance really.

ANYWAY I contacted him after a few days and talked him into giving it another go and we did and everything was amazing this time. We were getting on brilliantly and both agreed we had our spark back.

Two weeks later I snapped at him for being late to meet me and we had a huge fight where he ended it AGAIN. He said he didn't think it was working and now he won't reply to my texts or answer my calls. I haven't done either in a couple of days in hope he'll come back again but no word. Does it sound like it's the real deal this time? It has been almost a week which is the longest break yet.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

I do believe you need to stop snapping at him

Or

Wait until school is over than start a relationship.

[450donn]

Maybe YOU need to reevaluate yourself and try and determine why YOU snapped at him. It sort of sounds like YOU have some anger issues that YOU need to deal with.

[AshleyStar]

Yeah this is probably true but I am under crazy pressure at the minute. I really want to get a good degree and I haven't been sleeping so I'm quite highly strung at the minute. However, I'm usually fine and we get on great.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

Emphasize on YOU a little?

LOL!

I hope she gets the point...

:):):)

[450donn]

That was my point. People tend to think the problem is always the other person. In this case she needs to work on her anger management issues before she can work on a positive relationship with anyone. JMHO!

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

I know I was just kidding 450donn.

[JBeaucaire]

The longer you date someone, the more natural your relationship becomes. This is where problems start because people aren't usually very nice to their closest friends and family members. In our house, we frequently note how our "worst behaviors are saved for the people we love most."

Isn't that odd? Occasionally, to keep from saying/doing impossibly mean things to our loved ones, we need to remind ourselves to respect them the way we would a stranger.

Crazy stuff.

Anyway, stop blaming your stress and snapping at him on your classes/schooling/final exams. This is your natural way of dealing with negative situations, you lash out. During early months of dating you squelched this behavior because of the "courting" mentality. Now, simply showing up late and you're ready to hand out a verbal lashing. Would you do that if a stranger, someone you just met, were late? Think about it.

Remember, you're still courting. Keep squelching those bad impulses. As long as you date, respect him like a stranger. Even after being married for 20 years, control yourself. Strong differences of opinion, disagreemnt, even full on anger actually DON'T give you free reign to toss grenades at loved ones. But we do it all the time.

How odd is that?

[AshleyStar]

I agree completely, I need to stop lashing out and I do feel terrible.

But, how am I supposed to show him I've stopped when he won't take my calls? Do you think it sounds like he's finished with me for real?

[JBeaucaire]

Doorstep.

Doorbell.

Door Knocker.

Door Opens.

Apology presented.

Door either stays open or it doesn't.