[terri52]

:( ]I work as a paralegal in a rather large law firm, one of the lawyers and her boyfriend were friends of my husband before my husband and I met. A new position in this law firm was open and she put in a good word for me to get the job. This was about seven years ago. Let me describe this person in detail. She is about 50 and at the top of her game. Her relationship with her boybriend is rather shakey, as the rumors are flying that he is seeing a much younger woman. He wants to leave her but she has contributed so much to his life and his family, that it is impossible for him to walk away. As far as I can see any woman who comes that is younger and more attractive, she is easily threatened by you know come to think of it she does not have to be more attractive and younger, just smart and know the job and do it well, she does not like that either. She has the credentials to go higher and demand the highest salary, I don't understand. From the very beginning she has always tried to make me look small in front of my other co-workers; so much that I have considered quitting, but at this point my husband and I cannot afford it, I have discussed this situation with her and it does no good whatsoever, she is the big dog! The last straw was at the company picnic, each supervisor gave his/her assistant a word of thanks for a job well done. There was a project I assisted her with, and no one in the building was able to help her reach her deadline, she thanked me privately, however, as she stood to give thanks for a job well done to the other assistants, she even thanked those she does not like,do you think she mentioned me! Hell no! And I would like everyone to know that I contribute as well, I know that sounds childish, but that's just how I feel. I know that this is part of the game, however, needless to say I was dumstsruck, however, I act as if nothing has happened and try to be as professional as possible. There is so much going on here, as with any other office situations, rivalries and down right cutthroat. Sick, Sick, Sick of it.
I need some advice.

Thanks

[Allheart]

For the time being, stick to the job at hand. Do your job to your very personal best and take comfort in that. Getting recogonized for a job well done, is important, I understand. But it seems you have yourself in a position that can be a no win.

Go to work, ignore all the external goings on, smile and be gracious and on your own time, work hard at finding another job.

There will always be some sort of office politics, but where your at now, it seems, is a bit too much and is unhealthy.

Let her do her thing and take all the credit, sadly, in time, her negative behaviour will be her downfall. But you shouldn't focus on the things she is doing, even if it takes credit away from you. There is too much going on here and the negatives seem to far outway any positives, which at this point seems to be the paycheck and that you can get at another job and hopefully be recogonized for your hard work.

If looking for another job is not an option right now, then focus hard on your job, and in time you hard work will pay off, but don't cloud your thoughts and time with the things she is doing. She's creating enough havoc with her own life, don't be pulled in.

Go to work, put a good honest day in, collect your pay and leave the rest where it belongs.

Wish you the best.

[dontknownuthin]

Usually in an office when someone does this crap they do it to more than one person, and even if it's not been spoken, other people are aware of her means of dealing with people. Stay above it, and avoid her. Expect nothing from her and cut her out of your social life without saying a word about it to her or anyone else. If she questions why you aren't socializing with her just say, "I've found it difficult to maintain a personal relationship with you when you also have a supervisory role at work, so please don't take it personally." Leave it at that. Other people will notice what you are doing without her shining a spotlight on you, so chalk it up to her lost opportunity. She will be burning a lot of bridges and it's best not to be standing beside her while she does it.