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cody2011 · May 2, 2008, 08:36 PM

OK. So I have this problem. There are these two girls. I like one of them, and she likes me a lot(doesn't sound like a problem. Right?). Well this other girl I like A LOT but she says she doesn't like me the same way. She says she doesn't want to hurt her friends feelings(the girl that likes me a lot). But both of her friends says she likes me. I'm confused because when I ask her if she likes me she says she doesn't, but if I do something for/to her (i.e. foot rub) she doesn't try to stop me or anything. What should I do? I like this girl A LOT, but I don't want to push too hard. I want her to be comfortable and happy.

Do I back off both or what?

godsbabygirl267 · May 2, 2008, 08:46 PM

Well, sounds like a major delimma. First of all, YOU have to pick which one you care for more. Be the other ones friend but back off her and turn your focus. Second, tell the one you pick how you feel and what you think. ANd, yes, she will always say she doesn't like you. HEr best friend does. Its just another one of our rules. Plus, a bit of advice, normally, we really don't know what we are talking about, and often say the opposite of what is true. Lastly, let her think it over, then talk to her again. Don't push her or make her feel guilty, just listen to what she has to say. If she says she still doesn't like you. Say something like, oh... well, we can still be friends, Right? DO NOT go for the guilt trip and say um, oh well, now you have broken my heart. Or don't aim for the angry Well, I didn't like you any way. Just be calm and if it is meant to be, it will be.

Pedro Depacas · May 2, 2008, 09:45 PM

Yo dude it's up to you now and your in a heck of a spot. Two people you care for only one you like and a potential to hurt either if you make a choice either way. Tough man real tough sucks to likable huh? Sorry little joke. Cheer up man look, you like one not the other but care for both right? So a walk away from both and play mr. nice guy, or be direct, be modern alpha male. Talk to your want to be friend first and set it straight but you need to be... careful, don't be to brunt but be clear, don't over compliment her but be sincere. Since its seems you care about her tell her how you feel. Then go straight in for the girl you like she is just waiting for you that's clear(foot rub you dog nice move!) Just follow the signs and don't second guess, been there done that it seems tough and it is but I made the choice and it worked for me. The saga afterward... diffrent story can't help you on that but, as far as this.. just think about it;)

JBeaucaire · May 2, 2008, 10:27 PM

Growing up, acting maturely... it's mostly about making hard choices. Based on what you've described here, you are completely unaware that the problem isn't them, it's you. By that, I simply mean that you have got to learn a few things.

First, it's perfectly natural for you to like girls, multiple girls, even feel like you love them, all at the same time, all perfectly normal.

Second, whether they like you or not should NOT be your next primary concern. Your next primary concern is how you are approaching "dating". If you're looking for some fun hanging with girls, giving out random foot rubs and playing the field, you can absolutely do that. Nothing wrong with that. Just don't be all fatalistic about how it makes you feel, playing the field like that means you have to stay aloof and relaxed and not get so serious.

On the other hand, if you're intention is to find a single girlfriend, then YOU have to make a mature choice on your own, ahead of time, and pursue one girl at a time, making sure she knows you're intent. That's honest, too.

During your pursuit of this girl, will other girls be attractive to you? Of course! Will other girls like you and maybe even make a pass at you? Most likely. But the mature man has learned to control himself, ignore those exterior feelings until he has a resolution with the girl he is pursuing. If it works out, great. If not, THEN he moves on to the next girl.

So, stop being so "confused" about how they feel, make a choice about how you want to pursue dating, then commit to what that means.

When you do that, the confusion will disappear and everyone will be much less stressed over the whole process.

Good luck.

cody2011 · May 2, 2008, 10:57 PM

dude! What the **** are you trying to say? That I'm retarded for wanting to know how they feel? Or that I'm immature for being confused? I know for a fact that its OK to like multiple girls at one time(everyone does), I have all my life. I only want one girlfriend. Duh! I want to know how they feel because they are not only friends with each other but also ME. I don't just give out random foot rubs. And just to let you know, the confusion will not disappear. I want to know how she feels because it would be futile(I'm sorry is that too big of a word for you? It means, pointless) to try going out with someone that doesn't like me.

how old do you think I am anyway?

cody2011 · May 2, 2008, 10:59 PM

Thanks

JBeaucaire · May 2, 2008, 11:31 PM

If I HAVE to guess, I'd guess about 19-20. But that's not the point.

First of all, it is NOT futile to pursue someone who doesn't share your like. A girl who completely snubbed me the first 5 or 6 times I tried to get her to go out with me is now my wife of 23 years. So be careful where you place your certainty. You may be missing out on some great things. What matters first is that you know your own heart.

Ok, so you indicate that what you want is a single girlfriend. Again, I reiterate that your next choice isn't a poll of everyone's feelings, it's a poll of your own.

It's hard, but you need to decide whom you're going to pursue and then focus all your creative energies on making it happen. Spreading those energies out, even a little bit, might mean you fail when you don't have to. I kept my sights on my goal, got creative, clever, fun and endearing and it paid off when she finally went out with me... eventually marrying me.

There's no way anyone here can tell you what is in the minds of girls who aren't here on the forum posting messages for us to decipher, too. You're the only one here, so that's why my answers are focusing on you. You can get what you want by doing that, making a choice, then giving it 100%.

Good luck.

thegreatestviz · May 3, 2008, 12:40 AM

Well I wouldn't suggest you for a two timing
In simple words ill put it-
Find who likes you really and whom you find more comfortable with
Then make a wise choice
Simple
Problem solved... :)
Good luck mate

cody2011 · May 3, 2008, 03:34 PM

OK. Thanks everyone.

talaniman · May 3, 2008, 06:34 PM

I only want one girlfriend. Duh! I want to know how they feel because they are not only friends with each other but also ME

Pick the one you want and go for it. That's how its done, and if you want to know how she feels, ask her, and see. If she feels the same that's cool, if not your all friends still.

jasmine_rezzag · May 3, 2008, 08:04 PM

It sounds like you like two girls,you hope these two girls like you as well!and it sounds like you don't want to make a choice!If you really like someone,it is very easy for you to make a choice,and you have no need to worry about other girls like you or not! Just treat them like friends!that's all you can do and should do! Unless you want to hang out with many girls,don't want to settle down!