[twins2]

I want a divorce my husband does not but I have tried to make it work. I have asked him to go to counsling and he says yes I have made appointments for him to only break them what do I do? I can't put up with the verbal and mental abuse any longer. I have two children and I just want them to be happy and healthy. As much as I try to hide that their dad is acting out I can not do it. They see it and they ask me every day if we are going to divorce. I do not know what to say to them but the truth which is that I do not know what to do. I have met someone else and he does make me smile and I do finally realize that being unhappy sucks but what do I do? Do I just stay and keep trying or do I ask him to leave and see where life takes me. I will finish nursing school in December and I was thinking of holding on until then I am just so confused and tired of being hurt. I know I don't love him the way I used to and I often find myself not wanting to go home to him because I know that he is just going to yell and scream about something he thinks I didn't do right. Did I mention that I work full time and go to school full time and try to take care of home and the kids. My husband is definitely not going to let me just have a divorce without a fight but I have told him what I want and that was counsiling and he will not go. Is there a point when one partner has to call it quits? Should I continue on with the way things are until I finish school then make all the decisions? Should I just continue on with this other guy and see where it goes? I know I definitely want a divorce I just do not know how to go through with it. Do I just file even though we still live together?:confused:

[JAMIET]

You need to ask yourself "how's he going to take the bad news?" If he has such a temper like you say... it could be really ugly and not something children need to see. I just left an abusive marriage of 9 yrs for the same attitude from my husband. When he found out, he threatened to kill me and luckily someone heard the fight and called the police, and he was arrested for Domestic Violence and charged with assault. You can always have someone present when you break the news and ask that he leave so the children won't have to be without a roof over their heads. It's easier for 1 to find shelter than the rest of the family. You can always file for a divorce afterwards. I

In my situation, My kids are grown, so that's a good thing, but I planned for over a year how to get out, so that I'd have a plan, no matter what happened. Get friends or family involved to help if the situation gets worse, before you make up your mind. Good Luck to you!

[isonesexymom27]

Hi I would say wait until December when you finish school that way you don't mess up your school how old are your kids ? Can you go live with your family /or do you guys own a house if you do then just file for the divorce and let him know when love its over its over ,and this new guy of course he makes you feel good he is new toy and treats you different but be very careful . To me a relationship where you are always fighting it not good and the verbal abuse sucks it is not worthed see what are your better options for you and your kids and you know like moving with family then decide

[N0help4u]

I agree with Jamiet. You need to find a safe way to leave.
Staying is not good because your daughters sense it is not good and they do not need to grow up thinking that you put up with the abuse and therefore abuse is okay.

[canadian52]

If you are considering a divorce, you should take a look at this website that talks about the first steps of the divorce process. The content of the page was created by professional lawyers and I think it will help clarify things for you. Canadian Family Law - First Steps

[lavista]

First of all, the decision you make should have absolutely nothing to do with another man. You need to finish one relationship before you even think about starting another one. You developing feelings for someone outside of your marriage could be clouding your judgement towards your husband. If you leave your husband it should be because that's what will be best for you and your kids, not because your wanting someone else already. Your brain and your heart needs space & time to think and to heal. You also need to focus more on what your kids are going to go through with this divorce and not be so concerned with another love life right now. Your kids don't need to see you go from dad, directly into the arms of another man. Also another important factor, can you afford to live on your own? What if your husband won't give you child support until its court ordered 2 years from now? Will you and your kids be OK financially? Leave your husband because you don't love him, or because he doesn't deserve you, don't leave him for another man that you barely know. The grass isn't always greener on the other side. You should make a new life for you and your kids and THEN invite someone else in later