[losingit77]

Hey - Just wanted to see (since so many of us have experienced the "break-up" before), how long did it take you until you felt pretty much like a normal person again? My ex and I broke up about 5 weeks ago (after 4 years together). I feel okay, not crying or anything in weeks, but I still think about him pretty much every second of the day. Some days are good, some are awful, but lately the good have been outweighing the bad thankfully. We broke up once last summer too for about 11 weeks (longest we went without contact only about 18 days though). I remember starting to feel somewhat OK at around that time and then he contacted me and we went right back to square one.

So just wondering, in your experience, how long after the break-up or how long with NC did it take you to "see the light"? Just trying to get myself to see the light at the end of tunnel.

Years ago, after a 3 year long relationship, after about a month I felt pretty much OK. Probably because that was a somewhat mutual break-up. I wish it would have only been a month this time... but it looks like I'm in for longer. NC definitely does help though. To those going through it, how long until there aren't so many ups and downs?

[polska]

I'm probably the last person you want to take advice from.
My Girlfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. No remorse... cold hearted... It's over!
The first two weeks were horrible. Not much sleep, not much eating, not much of anything. This week is a little better although the mornings are pretty bad. She's the first thing on my mind when I open my eyes. It's rough. I have been the breaker and breakee before in other relationships, but this one is by-far... the worst. I guess it's how deeply in love we are when it happens. NC has really helped. She has tried to contact me a few times and it's hard to not respond. Be strong...
It will get better each day. As far as feeling normal... I don't know.
Take advantage of this situation and get yourself feeling better than normal. Treat yourself good! Stay positive! ( I know it's hard )
I have been a smoker for 16 years and I quit 1 week ago. Ive tried so many times in the past and have failed. While I'm checking off the NC calender I can also do the Smoke free calender. It is really working! When I see her again in the next year or so, I can go over to her and say "Thank You So Much" " I Love You!"
"I am now a non smoker and I feel great." "You changed my life forever" This was Great!maybe even give her a hug. How cool would that be?
Just a small little goal to set. Try to think of something you can do to better yourself.
Don't be the loser... Be the winner!

Just my 2 cents worth,
Hope it helps a little.

[JBeaucaire]

The pain doesn't really start to abate until you've put something substantive in its place. Until then, you have nothing to detract your mind from painful reminiscing.

Also, 4 years is really too long to "date", since you never moved to a permanent commitment, it would be understandable if this is almost as painful for you as a divorce would be.

You need time and new stuff in your life.

[duck22]

I am almost 21 and got out of a 4.5 year relationship at the end of January. It took me a solid two months before I truly started feeling better. Now its somewhere around 3 months and although I still think about her daily I can honestly say that I am happy with myself. I am sure its different for everybody but that is just my experience

[talaniman]

The busier and more proactive you are in making yourself happy, the sooner you want to share that happiness. No timetables.

[losingit77]

Yeah, I can honestly say I'm happy with myself. I think I'm actually even more confident than ever since I don't feel that the break-up was really a reflection on me. It was just really a matter of timing and 2 people just growing apart.

Just wondering how long it will take to stop missing him and thinking about him. I know. It's a loss and I just got to let myself go through the grieving process. And keep living my life and building a new life without him in it. I have plans every night for the next 3 weekends so I'm definitely keeping myself busy. Just got to keep looking forward, not backwards!

[ForeverZero]

It stops hurting whenever you're ready to let it go. You can't just up and decide to let it go, but eventually you'll work it out inside that it's not doing anything but hurting to keep hanging on. In the mean time, you highs will get lower and your lows will get higher and eventually you'll even out emotionally.

[Lovelee]

I personally need a good three months to collect myself and accept that its over.
Some people take a long time to let go because maybe deep down they are hoping that the individual comes back to them. Sometimes they do sometimes they don't. When I know its over for sure I begin to make progressive changes to get over them quickly. The longer you pine the worst it will be trust me.

[JBeaucaire]

This question reminds me of the old Tootsie Pop commercial that asked: "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"

Of course, the answer is completely different for everyone facing the task. Just got to do the time necessary.

[kp2171]

Depends on the situation and your experience.

My first big love... huge breakup after 7 years... took me a year to get over.

Next big breakup... took a couple of months.

The next big one... in a month I wasn't over her completely, but I was able to move on and start another relationship.

[classicrocker]

For me I think the hope that she'll come back is what keeps slowing me down.

[talaniman]

Stop hoping, and start living, there is a great, big, world out here, with many interesting characters.

[log]

Its all about the will power... the thought will always be there but it will drift day by day.you just got to distract yourself with more meaningful events.think about as an addiction your fighting off.. and eventually you will reward yourself with the goal you have achieved
Good luck!