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timkent · Apr 23, 2008, 01:09 AM

:confused: Well, I have been in a relationship with a woman now for just over six months. She has a seven yr old daughter who loves me dearly. My partner and I have spoken about living together a few times and she had actually decided she was going to rent out her house and move in with me, then she said that she was only telling me that to "Keep me happy." - her daughter would be very happy if we all lived together - her daughter told me and her mum the same. We have just returned from a two week trip to The Maldives, which I paid for!

The crunch...

For a while I have been feeling that, although she tells me that she is "in love" with me, she does not feel as strongly as she proclaims to feel. So, last night, I asked the hyperthetical question, "If I asked you to marry me, what would you say?" Her response, "Well, I would have to think about that!"

I am devastated! However, I think it confirms what I have felt, that she is not really THAT in love with me...

Please, give me your honest views on this and how you would feel if you received the same answer to the same question.

Tim (UK)

SJB1701E · Apr 23, 2008, 01:39 AM

6 months man... 6 months... you've only been together 6 months...

Love and a healthy relationship takes time, more time than you've put into this. She isn't ready, and I don't blame her because its only been 6 months. Come on man. Too early to marry. Too early to move in together. Too early for you to be playing stepdad to her daughter. People wonder why divorces are at an all time high and climbing. Too many people nowadays rush into marriages and living together without taking the time to grow and learn about each other. I say give it a couple years then give it a try.

nickshehe · Apr 23, 2008, 05:56 AM

I agree with the above post...
It's way too early man and you probably shouldn'tve asked that.. If anything she probably suggested living together because she wants a fatherly figure to her daughter.. If you dive into this too fast it could have a quite dramatic result...
You should take things slower man what's the rush.

talaniman · Apr 23, 2008, 08:17 AM

Slow this train down, and listen to the good common sense this female is trying to tell you. 6 months is way to early for anything, except having fun, while you are getting to know each other. Your expectations are to high, see what happens after a year, then talk.

Smoked · Apr 23, 2008, 08:24 AM

Well, like it has been mentioned it has only been a very short period. Take it easy!

Now, Devastated? Friend after 6 months you should be happy that your hypothetical question didn't result in instant "we need some time apart". You are obviously very taken with this person and that is awesome. Don't be devastated that she didn't just break down and say yes out the gate. She has a child to think about, obviously had prior relationships and I wouldn't expect that she is looking to rush head on into anything. Cultivate this relationship. Best thing is slow down, show her you love her, and listen to the great advice you are getting from some of these other fine folks.