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helpme1089 · Apr 20, 2008, 12:06 AM

So there's this girl that I've known for a couple months now and I'm really confused about her. I spend a lot of time with her but it's always been as "just friends." Lately though I've started to like her as more of a friend and it seems like she might also. Her roomates approached me asking what I think about her and I told them, but nothing has really happened since that night. Whenever we hang out we always end up cuddling and laying in bed together, but nothing beyond that. We're going to my fraternity formal together and one of my fraternity brothers said that she was just waiting until then but I don't know if I should trust him... he's known to "expand on the truth." Any advice?

jamimama · Apr 20, 2008, 12:16 AM

Originally Posted by helpme1089

my fraternity brothers said that she was just waiting until then but I don't know if I should trust him...

Waiting for what? To kiss you? To express her feelings? How does this guy even know your friend?

If she's cuddling with you (and presumably not cuddling with a lot of other guys) and she's going with you to your formal, odds are she likes you. I'm not sure I understand where the mixed messages are coming from.

helpme1089 · Apr 20, 2008, 12:21 AM

She's a friend of a lot of the guys in my fraternity and that's how I know her as well as my brother. He apparently talked to her but I'm not sure. The mixed messages are that she still talks about other guys around me, and will dance with other guys at parties. I'm just confused about the situation in general... I was planning on waiting until formal to ask her because it's very soon and I don't want it to be akward if she doesn't fell that way.

JoeCanada76 · Apr 20, 2008, 12:32 AM

Who cares about anybody says. Go at your own speed, make sure she feels comfortable. That is it. There is nothing confusing about that. Hug, cuddle and get to know her first.

jamimama · Apr 20, 2008, 12:35 AM

I say take it slow. Do you feel obligated to announce your love for her as opposed to just hugging, cuddling and/or asking her on a date (something specific like "do you want to go play mini-golf on friday?" as opposed to "do you want to be my girlfriend?")?

talaniman · Apr 20, 2008, 07:13 AM

Just me, but I ask her out, without the crowd, and go from there. Nothing big just coffee. Then you can get to know her. What are you scared of rejection, or what? Your already doing the cuddle thing (assuming she is only cuddling you)and your going to a formal together, what part of move it along, is it your not getting. Even if she shoots you down, at least the confusion is over. I think I would have asked her out like last month. That's just me though. Rejection is not a big deal. Confusion is.

nickshehe · Apr 20, 2008, 09:50 AM

Uhm I agree/disagree with some of the above posts..
Like tal said I would have asked her out a month ago.. So your first move would probably be to ask her out somewhere just to hang out, and from then on read the signals man its not that hard..
But I've seen it happen time and time again where the guy is always unsure if the girl likes him back.. but he's still there... still cuddling.. still being her friend.. e.t.c Until you are stuck in the friends zone and the friends zone sucks.
You can't get out.
This doesn't mean you should rush into things.. spend more time taking steps towards your goal and less time thinking about it.

helpme1089 · Apr 30, 2008, 12:24 AM

So... in case anyone was curious formal went really well. We made out 10 times or so and it must have been OK with her because we still slept in the same bed. We haven't really talked about it since then... so I'm still confused about whether it was a "drunk mistake" on her part? Maybe I just need to grow some balls and confront her on it already?

So I just realized I left something out. There are numerous pictures or evidence of the night including on her camera. She still hasn't deleted them and every time we look through the pics a mutual friend (girl) nudges me and smiles when we get to those pictures. Damn... I really just need to grow some balls!

nickshehe · Apr 30, 2008, 01:58 AM

I always find it easy to be cocky and funny in such situations... like if it happens again just look at the girl and tell her "oh it was that night you tried to take advantage of me".. or "you tried to get into my panties" or something along the lines of that... tease her a little bit, you can then tell if she takes the bite and wants to move on from there.