[chav4]

We live in a friendly village, and our widowed neighbor, has an adult son, in his 50's that does not love there, lives nearby but visits everyday to take care of the lawn. We say hello, he turns away and grunts. When he is speaking with another neighbor and they call out to me to say hello, or ask a question, I approach say hello to everyone-he turns his back to me and ignores me. This happens to me and my husband by the guy. We moved next door to his mom 3 years ago, and he does it all the time. His mother, sister, and other brother that all live nearby are friendly. His nephew, the neigbor's grandson is friends with our son and he's often at our house. It's strange-the man has nothing to do all day-doesn't work-so he's ALWAYS at his mom's puttering in the yard. I'm tired of being polite- I'd like to know why he is so rude with just us. He does also ignore one other neighbor, but seems to be able to communicate with others. I've told myself that I don't care-but it's becoming increasingly irritating to have someone actually turn their back to you when you approach them in a group of chatting neighbors on the street. He doesn't even live there-what do I do next time. I just ignore him back in a conversation-speak directly to the one who addressed me, but I always say "hi you guys". I never exclude him in my salutation. Should I continue to pretend to not let it bother me, or should I say something- if so, what do I say? And remain the polite lady that I am. Thank you.

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[igottogonow]

Hi You know sometimes you just cannot be nice to people. I'm not sure of your age but when you get older you start to realize that some people just aren't nice or they are to shallow to communication with others. I would take one of two approaches, start ignoring him or just go up and ask him what why he does what he does. You may even want to approach his family members. I've found out that it will sometimes break the ice. Maybe he's to shy to talk to you. Maybe he's not worth the effort, it sounds like there are a lot more friendly people there and forget this one.

[N0help4u]

I would just ignore him why beat a dead horse and go out of your way only to be ignored.
Maybe you could ask one of his family members or one of the neighbors.
Some people are just down right rude so I wouldn't give him the time of day!

[kp2171]

You can take either tack... walk away from it or confront him.

Personally, I tend to be blunt and at some point would ask why he is being rude and disrespectful.

My wife's mothers side has a woman married to an uncle who is just rude and unpleasant to us. OK with others... but with us, she is put-offish. On the last trip, with our visiting because the woman's husbands sister died (my wife's aunt) she refused to get up and greet my wife, wouldn't look at her, wouldn't ever reply to greetings, and... its just hard to put into words here... clearly acted like we were the untouchable part of the family.

Personally, I think she thought my wife was too wild in the younger days when shed go down to visit in summers... and now that my wife is successful, she's jealous... though that's not the right word.

Point is we are at the place where normal ugly slights are just ignored. My opinion is if someone lives their life with grudges like that, they are miserable on some level... clinging to what little power that gives them. Whatever.

If she makes a big noise, disrupting the family, shell hear about it. Last trip was the last straw.

So I can't tell you what to do. We have a neighbor who can be unpleasant and I don't think cares for us (we have a young kid, he is older and likes quiet all the time). I can live with it. He can live with it. We just don't socialize so much.

Any chance your son irritated him once? Could happen. And some people need just one thing to cling to.

Even a simple "it says a lot about a person, when they turn their back on a neighbor" comment might shake it loose.

[westnlas]

Is it me you are complaining about ? I often go to take care of my mother-in-laws home and yard, and I tend not to converse with her neighbors. Her neighbors all seem to be older busybodies with lots of excess time. I don't work either as I am retired, but I do have other things that I need to do during my day. I just want to get the heck out of there mostly, especially when it's hot. It seems like all her neighbors want to talk about anyway is how much longer it will be before we sell the house. (They all want to buy it, at a reduced price).

He isn't a kid. He may not need to work. He may ignore you because he sees how irritated you get. He may be in pain and not want to chat. He may just not like you.

Since he ignores you, extend him the same courtesy. Ignore him. There's no point in trying to make older people converse, if they're averse to conversation.

[kp2171]

Before you spend time on this post understand the OP hasn't been back here since April 19.

Old thread.