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adel917 · Apr 17, 2008, 02:42 PM

I live with the father of my two children in Illinois. We are not married, but have made a lot of big purchases together including a house for our kids. I am originally from Texas and moved to Illinois to be with the father of my children before our first child was born. Things have gone completely sour, and I want to move back home because I have no one here (family or friends). I am alone! Is there any law prohibiting me from moving back to Texas with my two kids? I have lived in Illinois for only 3 years this September. :(

SBowman · Apr 17, 2008, 03:14 PM

I'm pretty sure you'd have to settle the rights of who becomes the guardian of the children before being able to take them anywhere.

I'm probably wrong.

progunr · Apr 17, 2008, 03:29 PM

The mental and physical well being of the children must come first.

The term "gone sour" gives us little information about the situation.

Is there abuse involved, substance abuse of some sort, or infidelity?

Unless the children are in danger, you should contact a family law attorney to discuss the legal option for moving.

If you honestly think the children or yourself are in danger, nothing could stop you from going to "visit" relatives, and somewhere along the line, decide you would rather stay than return?

Lula001 · Apr 17, 2008, 03:35 PM

Is this the case in America then? You need permission to move from one state to another if there are children involved? Here in the UK, if you want to move, you go, end of story, whether you are married with children or not, it should make no difference, no advice to offer, just amazed at the thought of having to have legal advice on moving and taking your children with you

progunr · Apr 17, 2008, 03:39 PM

Originally Posted by Lula001

Is this the case in America then? you need permission to move from one state to another if there are children involved? here in the UK, if you want to move, you go, end of story, whether you are married with children or not, it should make no difference, no advice to offer, just amazed at the thought of having to have legal advice on moving and taking your children with you

Yes, that is how it works here.
I guess the USA believes that the father, or mothers rights with the children are equal and that neither one has the right to take the children away from the other parent.
So, if a mother takes off with the children where you live, the father is just SOL?
I don't think I would like that.

Lula001 · Apr 17, 2008, 03:41 PM

Originally Posted by progunr

Yes, that is how it works here.
I guess the USA believes that the father, or mothers rights with the children are equal and that neither one has the right to take the children away from the other parent.
So, if a mother takes off with the children where you live, the father is just SOL?
I don't think I would like that.

SOL? Sorry I don't understand, but I suppose that the UK is a helluva lot smaller than the US too , so that probably comes into play too :D

Fr_Chuck · Apr 17, 2008, 04:20 PM

Being married does not make the issue, buying things together is not an issue of the custdoy. Not being married means that you can not divorce him, so you can not sue for ownership of the house though divorce court.

But what you do have is the custody issue of the children if there is a court order in place, normally it is in the child custody agreement and vistitation agreement that it is decided.

If you move out of state with the children how is the father going to visit with the children? Who is going to transport the children back to see the father, who is going to pay for it and so on.

adel917 · Apr 17, 2008, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by adel917

I live with the father of my two children in Illinois. We are not married, but have made a lot of big purchases together including a house for our kids. I am originally from Texas and moved to Illinois to be with the father of my children before our first child was born. Things have gone completely sour, and I want to move back home because I have no one here (family or friends). I am alone! Is there any law prohibiting me from moving back to Texas with my two kids? I have lived in Illinois for only 3 years this september. :(

Yes, we have only lived together and there are no formal court orders on the issues of custody, child support or visitation rights. I just want to know if I leave that it is legal and I will not be forced to move back to a place where I have nothing and most of all no form of family support. There are no issues with abuse or drug or alcohol addictions. I do not fear for my safety or the safety of my children either. It's just a relationship issue and I see no further redemption... :(
I will even let him know in advance I will not hide the fact that I am leaving.

Fr_Chuck · Apr 17, 2008, 05:41 PM

Most likely if you move before there is any court order, you nomrally will not be forced back, but then normally he can sue for rights or custody in his state ( since that is where you last lived together with the children) so you may well have to travel back there for custody hearings.

Pamela_C · Jul 24, 2010, 02:12 PM

Sadly, Sometimes if the father or his family consults an attorney, and they feel the children will be in jeapordy, they may issue a contestant order for you to stay in the state you are in until it is resolved in court. However on the other hand, if the father of your children feel that he can not win an argument with his attorney in the court of law, then he may not contest you to anything and decide to let you and your children go a head and move to Texas. The best advice is to set down with the children's father, and try to talk ratiionly and calmy instead of it going to court, that way the both of you can decide when each of you gets to see the chidren. Chidren are very keen to sense these things, esp. when they are in the process of a big move such as the one you are talking about. You have to consider their feelings,and if they will hold a grudge later in life. So many things you have to consider, hope this helps. You might want to contact your local family court office and find the rules for your state as every state is different.