Originally Posted by
luv2teach
I am currently engaged to a guy that I have been dating a little over 2 months, I know...gasp....We have known each other for several years and over time we have developed a very positive uplifiting realtionship. We met my first year in college through a friend and we hit it off then he left, over time through long distance we communicated. He joined the navy and i moved on with my life, but always kept him in the back of my mind. In feb he walked back into my life (face to face) and it was like no time had ever passed between us.
I know that I love him and that this is it for me..the down side is, he will be transfered in July back to San D and i live in Ms. So we are planning to get married in the end of May and I will follow at the end of July..
Note:
I am 25 finishing college and want to go for my masters(looked into colleges in SD)
He is 32 in the Navy
My parents have not met him.
The reason that this is hard is the fact that I come from a overbaring homelife, I was never aloud to think for myself or make my own decision... My mother has ruined my credit and I know that if i stay here I may have given up one of the greatedt moments in my life. And I will never get a chance to be myself.
i live 3 hours from home and I struggle, everything I do is critcized, and I am reminded that I am not out of school and so-n-so has graduated and is doing whatever and I am an embarassment to my mother that she says that she now lies to friends about what I am doing
honestly: I have 3 minors 24 hours to recieveing a degree, I take care of my grandmother who is deaf 24/7, drive 45miles to and from school everyday and i am the director of educational studies for a local museum, I never done grugs, been in jail, nothing but yet i am an embarassment to my mother.
I am afraid of what is to come this folowing weekend when we tell them, i am financially independent except for my car which she hasn;t paid on for the past 4 months and denys it but i get the phone calls.
I dont know what to do I am honestly scared and sick to my stomach.. I need all the advice i can get please help
First congrats Luv, on meeting and going to marry someone you deeply love. You hold on to that for dear life, as this is YOUR life now, and my goodness girl, if you were my daughter I would be shining with pride.
Just from what you shared, Mom is in a very unhealthy place and placing her unhealthiness on you. Don't allow it anymore, let it try and bounce off you using your new found happiness as a shield.
I think it is incredibly courteous and generous of you to even bring you happiness to them to meet, but I have a feeling you wouldn't want it any other way.
Keep the visit short and I have a feeling, Mom won't be as awful as normal in front of him.
If she does, make a graceful exit and turn away from her unhealthiness and turn directly to all that happiness that awaits you.
You have found love, happiness and are working so hard at getting an education. You have the world right in your hands, let no one ever try and dampen that, even by someone that has the title of Mom.
I am so very happy for you, as you more then deserve this happiness and having someone in your life that you can share a great love with.
Please, don't let Mom, bring you down. Try and look at her with different eyes. Sickness comes in many forms, physical, emotional and I am afraid to say, that Mom may be a very unhappy person with an illness that causes, you, you precious girl, horable pain. Please try and not allow her to do this anymore.
Believe me, I know it is hard, I truly do. Get a book out and right down all the things that you are proud of yourself and read it and reread it, many times, especially with this upcoming visit.
You do not need anyone's approval to be happy, that is your right.
Please keep in touch with us, we here at AMHD do truly care.
This is your time to shine... Grab it!! And Enjoy. Where that smile, on your face and in your heart, and be happy to do so:)
My very best to you,
Allheart