[chick90]

Hi I'm 18 and just started uni I find relationships with others and doing uni assignments very hard. Without fail during the week I will have a massive temper and be so angry that I feel the need to pnch something or make someone else feel bad, this could be triggered of by anything from a joke to one thing not going right. In the last few months I have been trying to brake up with my boyfriend when on the phone I have little outburts telling him that I hate him and never want to speak to him again. But 5 minutes later I calm down and think to myself I didn't mean it but still feel no remorse. Im lucky to have a boyfriend that knows there is something wrong and puts up with this but imjust sick of it I want it to stop.
I have been diagnosed with mild depression before and went to psychologist but found he was useless and he atualy made it worse.
I don't know what's wrong with me I really need help I don't want to loose everyone that's close to me because all I do is push them away.
I hope someone out there understads were I'm coming from

[Wondergirl]

It sounds more like an anger management problem, but that anger is coming from something. You need to find out what causes it.

How about finding a new psychologist or therapist? (What exactly went wrong with the one you went to?)

[Choux]

Do either of these ideas fit your situation.

When you are under more stress such as pressure to get good grades or pressure from relationships that are challenging and venture onto new unfamiliar ground... do you feel pressure build up but have no way to release the pressure other than blowing your top?

I would say first you have to be aware that pressure is building up in your head and an angry outburst is going to happen soon if you don't stop the usual chain of events. :)

Somehow, you are going to have to learn to live in uncertainty in an adult world that is full of pressures... that's what adulthood is about. Handling life's events without self-destructing in one way or another.

I think a life coach would be very helpful for you... perhaps, the university could provide you with a list of folks who are life coaches? I think you could make a lot of progress fairly quickly.

Best wishes in 2008

[chick90]

The last psychologist just asked a couple of questions while I cried and cried the questions didn't help and he was very distant not understanding, he just sat there staring at his desk while he spoke to me and his questions weren't about how I was feeling but more my everyday tasks

[anubis666]

To me, the psychologist that you saw was just carrying out standard practice, trying to get to the root of the problem. Im 18 myself, and although I'm not in the same situation I know from studying my friends how hard it can be to deal with your feelings. I do not think you require psychological help - I think you need to spend more time with the people you feel closest to, your boyfriend for example. You say you have these outbursts at him, but in retrospect you know it was a mistake and your glad he's so strong for you. He can be your "tower of strength" and you just need to open up to him - those closest to you always have a greater insight, and this may sound strange, but actually know more about how your feeling. He is seeing it from the outside, and can take an unbiased look at you. Just let yourself be vulnerable to someone, throw caution to the wind and there's a good chance you'll be feeling better in no time. This is just my opinion, and some unbiased advice, so if it helps - it helps. Good luck. :)

[Turasleon]

A few questions...
1.Have you always been this angry, or is this just recent? If it isn't recent, when did it start?
2.Do you want to break up with your boyfriend only when you have these angry outbursts? How long have you been with him? Do you enjoy being around him or is he just another source of stress?
3.Why are your relationships and your work hard? Is it just because of this anger? Tell me how you feel...
4.If you don't mind my asking, and you don't have to answer this... but what's your birthday? Strange question, but believe me, it could make this easier...

Okay, now on to my comments...
I've been diagnosed with bipolar disorder myself. Whether I just express the symptoms or actually have the disorder is yet to be seen, but I know what you are going through. The rage is so burning and intense that there really isn't any feasible way to control it. The only way to get rid of it would be to, as you said, punch something or emotionally hurt someone, and can even be extended to smashing/ripping/destroying/breaking things. Trust me, I've been there. The rage doesn't last long, either: just as you said, about five minutes, and then you probably regret what you just did. But God help you if you try to control it: it actually almost physically hurts to try to contain that kind of anger. I assure you, you aren't alone.

The problem is trying to explain this to people. If you've never experienced this yourself, it's almost impossible to understand. You'll seem very childish, immature, irrational, irritable, rageous, and there will be seemingly this huge absence of control of yourself. It pushes others away, hurts those you love, can destroy your life, and makes you feel terrible about yourself: those actions, you feel, are not who you really are, and that shows in the fact that you've obviously sought help, whether through counseling, psychiatrists, this website, and your boyfriend.

Honestly, you seem to be expressing symptoms of bipolar disorder. This list may be able to help you as well... Symptoms of Bipolar disorder - WrongDiagnosis.com .

Now, mind you, these symptoms can come from other places. Mine may very well be due to a vitamin deficiency. Could also be high amounts of stress, depression, dehydration, addictions, and it could really be the case that you just simply have bipolar disorder and medication may be your only option. But if I were you, I'd look into alternatives first: medications aren't exactly the best answer...

Believe me, I understand where you're coming from. If I were you...

-Check to see if you are eating right, getting the right nutrients. This, believe it or not, can cause more problems than you may be aware of.
-Make sure you're getting the right amount of sleep. 6-8 hours is recommended, but the more you can keep it on a steady schedule, the better.
-See what you can do to reduce your stress. Are your classes too hard? Do you make decisions (willingly: not when angry) which could be making your life harder? Is your boyfriend just adding stress to your life, is he reducing it, are you with him willingly?
-If these fail, go to a doctor or a better psychologist. You may have depression, which can also lead/go hand in hand with bipolar disorder. It's possible, as well, that you may have ADHD, which also is associated with bipolar, but this can also be caused by anything else I've mentioned.
-Worse comes to worst, go to a therapist or counselor, talk out your problems. Perhaps they can identify other problem emotions/points in your life that you may not have previously been aware of.



Hope some of that helped...