[h0llister]

You guys are so right, I know what to do. But I am starting to realize a lot of things now. I always pushed him to do things and made him do things. Which I thought he should do 'as a boyfriend' but it was wrong so now I am just relaxing and seeing how he is and letting him be himself. And see how it goes. I promise I won't do anymore stupid posts like this. Thanks so much guys!

[h0llister]

Oh p.s. I send him a email saying sorry for how I have been treating him and he forgave me.

[h0llister]

Hello, most of you know my history with my ex. And we broke it off for good last night! Believe me, but I was talking with his gay friend today and he told me a bunch of stuff and I have found out my ex is bi. It hurts me we were together for 2years and he never told me. Like I have a lot of signs I thought he might have been, because he always wanted to do anal sex and I found gay porn in his house once. Like I know you guys will say its over and to forget. But I feel bad he never told me and like I wish he would have opened up with me, I understand if he is but I'm so hurt he couldn't tell me. And like I am in so much shock.. has this ever happened to anyone else?

[TrueFaith]

Was he with other guys while he was with you?

Make sure you are safe and healthy.

Other than that. People should share more in relationships.
That is the reason why most go down the drain because one is not willing to fight as hard as the other.

All the best

[cadillac59]

I can certainly relate to your story because I'm a formally married gay man who is going through a break up myself. I know exactly where your husband is coming from.

The closet hurts everyone, the married gay man, the wife, the kids. It's a horrible mess without easy solutions. But one thing for sure is that these marriage have a failure rate of about 99%.

There's so much I could tell you but suffice it to say that I'm happy to chat about it at length if you are interested.

Whether your husband is "bi" or gay really isn't the issue. I am gay and have never considered myself "bi" in spite of having been married to a woman.

Let me know what specific questions you have or how I might help.

[Kia]

So what were some of the signs u saw outside of him wanting to have anal sex?

[h0llister]

He wasn't my husband, we were together for 2years, I'm 19 and he's 20. Some other signs were I found gay porn and a mutual friend told me he knew he had sex with a guy before and my ex always hits on him and stuff

[cadillac59]

he wasnt my husband, we were together for 2years, im 19 and hes 20. Some other signs were i found gay porn and a mutual friend told me he knew he had sex with a guy before and my ex always hits on him and stuff

Sorry for the misunderstanding about being married.

Well, actually you are in much better shape than many because of not having been married, having no kids and being young. All you have to do is chalk this one up to experience and move on. I'm sure it's not a lot of fun, but imagine if you had married the guy, had a few kids and then a decade or two had passed before the revelation? That's the reality many folks have to deal with.

[h0llister]

That's so true.. I'm so glad because we did have marriage plans! Thank u so much!

[TrueFaith]

Is this the dude that is far away from you? Right.

Well at least now you can move on
And stop wondering..

So I guess some good comes out of this

I'm just sorry you had to go threw this

[cadillac59]

thats so true.. im so glad because we did have marriage plans!! thank u so much!

Marriage plans. See, this sort of thing is more common than you think. And there is no question that the guy is gay.

Better to have found out now than later.

[h0llister]

Hey everyone its been awhile since I've been here.. its been about 2-3months since I was heartbroken.. and he still tries contacting me and I just ignore it. I have met someone else now (nothing to serious just dating).

But I remember back a few months ago and how hard it was. If anyone is reading this who is heartbroken. I've been there and I'm so happy now. PLEASE listen to what people tell you on here , they are always right! Lol I swear! Even if you think OMG I'm not going to do what they say... you will keep on hurting... until you do it! There some very educated people on here.

Thanks to everyone who helped me through my pain, and still responded after my like 8398 posts about my ex.. lol Thanks everyone so much.
Especially Talaniman, TrueFaith, Romefalls19! Thank you for reading and responding to all of my questions! :)

[moveon]

I wish I could move on fast after the breakup, but I am having an extremely tough time just cutting someone I've known and love for 6 years completely out of my life. We've broken up for 3 months, and we have no contact for 8 weeks now. I still haven't totally accepted the fact that we are no longer together, I'm still hanging onto hopes... waiting that one day he will get in touch with me. Perhaps he has already moved on as he ignored my email & text message on Xmas Day. It was just a simple wish, nothing about getting back. I wonder how can he move on so quick ?

[liz28]

I am happy for you because I remember your thread, I even answered it, and remember the hard time you was having. I told you in time you'll get past him but it's a process.

I am glad your answering his calls and keep it up.

Happy belated New Year and I hope you had a good holiday. Keep it up for 2009, it's a new year so forever you do don't give in and be bother with your ex.

You go girl!

[h0llister]

Everyone is different it took me this long to be happy again, of course I wonder about him. But I love myself way more now than him. (he hurt me ALOT) but try to do things that make you happy, go out with friends and meet new friends! Once you fill your life with happiness , this pain is slowly disappear :) and were always here for you:)

[a la king]

I'm curious... are you over it now because there is someone in your life or because you actually feel stronger?

[h0llister]

I feel stronger.. but having someone else interested in me, made me realize I was over my ex, because if this happened a month ago it would hurt me but now I appreicate it :) lol

[a la king]

That's good to hear. I nervous about getting involved with anyone because I'm not sure if I'll use it as a crutch myself.

[h0llister]

You know, its nice to date and have someone be nice and get to know them, :) don't be nervous, when you find someone, you are interested in, your ex won't even borther you:P

[talaniman]

What a pleasant surprise, a happy ending. I am glad your happy again. Made my day.