[GrIMEvIL]

I'm scared that she won't accept that... Anyway how do you thing I should tell her that? I mean through text or a phone call? My god this is mind boggling...

[talaniman]

But do you have any idea what I should say to her when I see her?

Set her free, your not healthy at this time.

[GrIMEvIL]

Omg she just put her Facebook relationship status as Single... From "its complicated to single.." My god I'm frantic!

[justcurious55]

It doesn't sound like you should be dating right now anyway. There's no way you coud have worked through all of your issues so quickly and you need to deal with those before you're dating her again.
And if she's decided your issues are more than she can deal with and its time for her to be single and move on, who helped get her to that point?

[GrIMEvIL]

I have no friggin idea.. But I'm pretty decided that I should go find her so I could talk to her face to face now.. Waiting is just such a dumb idea...

Anyone got anything to say to a naïve guy like me?

Ok there's an update.. I talked to the counselor, and she has arranged for her to talk to Vanessa and family then talk to me and then after that talk to me and vanessa together... She'll be asking us what we want and so on and so forth... I'll be given some time to talk to vanessa and I'll be trying to win her back.. if we do get together, the counsellor will be advising us on what to do and the such of course I won't stop having sessions with her.. so it's a win win situation... Can anyone please tell me what I should say to her when I see her next week??

[talaniman]

I really think that you should show the counselor your blog and this thread, so they may know all the facts to help you through this. You are not healthy enough for a relationship, and need to focus on getting healthy. I think trying to keep a g/f under these circumstances is a very bad idea for her own mental health. I know you don't want to face that, but its not fair to her, and she wants out, and you should let her go!! Now is the time to work on you. Don't be selfish!

[Alty]

Tal, I had to spread the rep.

I agree, it's time to work on yourself. You've told her time and time again that you have changed and time and time again have proven otherwise. Fix your problems first. Get healthy and then you can concentrate on a relationship. If she moves on then so be it, there are other fish in the sea, but you shouldn't even have your fishing rod in the water right now. Get better first.

[GrIMEvIL]

My Counsellor knows all the facts that I've told you guys and even more.. I never hid anything from her... She feels that my girlfriend and I still love each other so by being able to talk to both of us and decide from there is one more thing... Me wanting to try and get back together with her is something I really want, because breaking up doesn't solve anything... So can someone please really really advice me on what to say to her when I see her?

[talaniman]

She feels that my girlfriend and I still love each other so by being able to talk to both of us and decide from there is one more thing.

According to you the counselor hasn't seen you or anyone yet.

I talked to the counselor, and she has arranged for her to talk to Vanessa and family then talk to me and then after that talk to me and vanessa together..

This is what you wrote this morning. What's up dude?

[justcurious55]

You just don't get it, do you? You're asking for advice, everyone is telling you the same thing: you're not ready for a relationship. If your counselor really thinks you are and is even willing to help you push your ex-gf into therapy with you to drag her back into the relationship maybe you need a new counselor. Because this one sounds like a real push-over. That's how my mom's counselor was and guess what, my mom's issues have only gotten worse because having a counslor who tells you what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear doesn't help you in the long run. I don't know that it even does in the short run.

[GrIMEvIL]

I've seen her more than once... I'm seeing her next that week... The counsellor wants to be there to sort things out if my girlfriend says no to me.. Because after all she just wants to help me with my problems... The counsellor isn't pushing my girlfriend nor is she pushing me to break up with her... she's completely neutral, but she just wants to help me through this difficult time be it I'm with her or not... Thing is that my ex girlfriend may get back with me when I talk to her so during that point my counsellor will then talk to us and tell us what to do to actually make things better... well if my girlfriend doesn't get back with me, my counsellor will then proceed to help me by teaching me how to handle that rejection.. and of course even when we do get back together my counsellor is already helping me on that...

[Alty]

You need a new counsellor. If you told her everything you told us then I'm surprised that she thinks that you should be in a relationship right now. I'm sorry honey, I'm sticking with the advice that I gave you previously. You need to get healthy. As long as you are unhealthy then any relationship you have will be unhealthy. Working out your problems while you are dating is not a good idea. Problems first, then dating second, not together.

I wish you the best of luck.