[CharlieNJ1980]

I can't seem to move forward with my life. In many ways I feel like I've never started. I don't know how to keep this short but I'll try. I am a 28 year old without a job. I have worked on an off since the age of 14, but can't seem to stick with anything. The more years that go by, the more difficult it is for me to attain a job let alone keep one. I have not even a hs diploma but I do not feel stupid. I used to have no problem with sales but I've lost most of my teeth and got fat due to a lack of caring. So I honestly cannot deal with being in public. I can't even smile anymore. On top of that, many a time I have just decided to suck it up and just get any job, but I can only force myself to go for a short period. I am the most inconsistent person I know. I don't clean, take care of my hygene, pay bills, or do anything to move me forward in life. It's like I'm stuck and I can only force myself to do things for short periods. Then this alarm goes off in my head, and I feel unbelievably stressed and have to stop. And I'm very serious when I say I HAVE to stop. It's the same feeling you might get in a burning building where you just have to get out, or if you are underwater and need to resurface for air. I have been fortunate enough to have a very loving girlfriend that has helped me financially, but I feel horrible not being able to support myself. I've been diagnosed with many different things from doctors and counslers telling me I have mental illness. But I do not have insurance and can't even force myself to see anything through including the long and drawn out process it takes to get welfare and medicade. Writing this is difficult and it even took me a lot to finally do. I am trapped without any chance of family help, no job, no motivation, inability to consistenly do regular day to day things that everyone does without thinking, I do not drink or do drugs, and want to change in the worst way. I love people and have never been a danger to myself or anyone else, so I know I do not belong in a mental ward. Thank you for anyone that has taken the time to read this. I need help, to get help. What do I do?

[terri52]

Dear Hopeless,

Don't give up on yourself. Try to take it a day at a time, instead of trying to live your live all in one day. Thinking and concerning yourself about tomorrow won't solve anything. Purpose in your heart and in your mind what you can do today to try and help yourself. Rome was not built in a day, and your life will not and cannot be lived in one hour, one day or one moment. If you are truly depressed about yourself or just stuck consider seeing a therapist.

Terri52

[svatnsdal]

It takes a lot of strength!
Have you thought about going back to school? You're never too old for school! Mental Wards are not only for people who are a harm to themselves or others. It is also a place for people who have problems that require a lot of thinking.
Just getting up in the morning and making it through the day is hard, but you have to try and try harder. I get the same feeling sometimes, I just want to stop it all. What I do is look at the good in my life, and think of how I got it.
Just look at all the good things you have, realize how lucky you are there. All do to having the strength to do what you have done.
Keep pushing yourself and telling yourself how you can do better. Think of the good outcome that will come. Then you just need the strength, physically and emotionally, to do the things needed.

[talaniman]

Do you have a friend, who can go with you to the Health and Human Resources, in your area? They can help you get through the process of seeing a doctor, and getting the right hep for you, be it meds or training, or therapy. Talk to that friend, and explain what you need.

[Choux]

First, you have to get some dentures and a haircut. Your girlfriend can get you some clothes and shoes. Get up every day and take a shower and get dressed.

Get a part time job.

This may be all you are capable of in life... you don't know... life is difficult even for the most accomplished individuals. It is even more difficult for people with serious handicaps.

The purpose of life is to enjoy yourself... you have to learn what you enjoy doing by trying out all kinds of activities like being a library volunteer, a speedwalker, a fan of the local baseball team, a reader, a gardener, on and on and on.

Your life is what you make it... you don't have to impress anyone. Just be happy.

My very, very best wishes in the coming year.