[EuRa]

AHHHHHH!! IM GOING NUTS!!

I've been with a girl for 2+ years now. I proposed to her, we're engaged for about what... 1-2 weeks? I proposed when we moved in together.

Anyway, everyday has been the same thing. She cries or complains about something (the house looks bad, the bathroom is too small, her hair is too frizzy, etc). It seems like when she opens her mouth, either a complaint or argument is brewing.

SHE WON'T STOP!

What is her problem? When she complains or cries, I tell her that at least we're together, and I love her and she loves me, and all is well. She usually responds with rolling her eyes or along the lines of "you're twisting it around" or something.

Listen. This girl is amazing and I love most things about her. If I could have one thing, JUST ONE, it would be for her to be happy and stop complaining so much about little things. I never complain. And when bad things happen, I work fast towards fixing it. There were wasps in the house, so I bombed the whole place, twice, then cleaned the mess. There was only one TV, so I put in all new cables and put up a second. I always wash the dishes and take out the trash and walk and feed the dog. I'm not being lazy here.

So why is she complaining!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

BTW, I don't yell at her or argue back. I suggest solutions to the things that can be fixed. And if something can't be fixed right there and then, I offer reasons as to why it's not so bad, or ways we can correct it in the future, or tell her how this current living establishment isn't forever, or the car isn't forever, etc.

AHHHHHHHHH HELP!!

[ForeverZero]

Get used to it.

[ForeverZero]

Seriously though, she's freaking out about her whole life turning because of the marriage and this is where it comes out. She's obsessing over things that are trivial in an attempt to defocus from what's really on her mind.

[bizarrogir]

A lot of the times girls just want to be listened to and understood; they don't want you to keep offering solutions or telling her that its not important. That's kind of like telling her that she's either crazy (for being worried about it) or that she's not important (because you keep telling her that her concerns are not important).

[talaniman]

Hey guy, let her vent, and trust me say nothing, and do nothing. She ain't going to like it no matter what. Be patient as you're the villain here, and you better not forget it. Sounds pregnant, or scared, to me. Oh gosh maybe both. What ever you do don't go fishing, she will never forgive you leaving now, not even in self defense. Don't let her work you to death though, and find out about the pregnant thing.

" Gee honey you've been mighty weird lately, are you pregnant or what?" be ready to duck, or run. Your finding out that patience is a virtue, for a reason.

[Wondergirl]

We women want to vent. She may even have a little anxiety going on. Maybe even a big anxiety...

Don't try to fix everything. Just let her vent. Be empathetic.

This is her test to see if you're safe to complain to. Will you run away? Will you stay and put up with her?

[frangipanis]

I agree with Wondergirl that women want to know you can love and accept them for who they really are -- knowing you won't run away when they're being real with you and that you care enough to keep working at the relationship. Make it clear to her you love her and that you aren't going anywhere, no matter what. At the same time, let her know she's driving you nuts as she can't seem get the fact you love her, and that you want her to be happy. This is what my boyfriend keeps telling me at the moment, so I'm holding on to that thought.

My boyfriend and I are at a similar phase, where we know we want to be together yet there are a few nagging doubts as we get down to nitty gritty. Better to be going through this now, rather than later. Be honest with yourself and with her, and it will be fine. You obviously love her... so best of luck riding out the storm :)

[lmnotok]

I just simply think she has a self-esteem issue. This girl doesn't love herself enough, she felt insecured inside, that's why she freaks out. I myself never cry over small things like the house is dirty or something. Or maybe she is not ready for living together. She herself doesn't realize this. But yeah, when a woman is immature, she acts nonsensely. So I think next time she complains, you put a headphone on and let her do it on her own.

[talaniman]

Could it be that time of the month, or does this go on more than a week? Female hormones ain't nothing to play with.