[libralady25]

Hi Everyone,
I don't know what to do, or how to feel really. I haven't been "in the mood" for months and out of nowhere started to suspect my boyfriend of watching porn while I was not home or sleeping.
Anyway, our cable bill came and it was open, so I looked. And I see that he, in fact, did rent one on a day he was sick at home. I was so furious, but at the same time it kind of turned me on. So I told him I knew and we talked about it. He was upset that I said something, but wasn't embarrassed, more upset that I invaded his privacy. He explained it had nothing to do with me at all, and he never wanted me to think otherwise. I told him I kind of liked it... which in a weird sense, I did.
The thing is, that was over a month ago, and since I have been feeling back to normal and I feel like it kind of helped put me back in the mood... however we got another cable bill yesterday, and I went to dinner with some friends and came back and it was nowhere to be found. Well, it was in clear sight on the dresser so I looked and page 3 was missing... and he took the garbage out too.
Does he think I am stupid? It is obvious he took the page out, and threw it away. Now I feel like I cannot say something because I was snooping... and I know I shouldn't have looked and I shouldn't care.
But, I don't get why he has to go to such lengths to STILL hide it from me even though I told him I already knew...
Does anyone have a situation like this or understand!! Please help relieve my mind! :confused:

[Benjimeister]

Ok.. Well, my first reaction is that if you haven't been "in the mood" for months that its totally unreasonable to expect your husband to not masturbate, and its very common for men to watch a little porn while they do it. My advice is do whatever it takes to get yourself going in the bedroom again, and I'd imagine the problem will solve itself.

[libralady25]

We have still been having sex, I have just not been too into it... well, until recently. But I agree that it is unreasonable to think he wouldn't be... and I have said that... I guess I just get annoyed that he goes to great lengths to hide it from me, even though he already knows I know.
Thanks for your help!

[Benjimeister]

Well, maybe he's feeling a little be ashamed. He might feel guilty about it, because of either your actual perceptions and feelings about it, or because of how he imagines you might/should feel about it.

[libralady25]

You are probably right... to be honest about it all, my dad along with every man in my family is addicted to porn... I am talking they have like an underground porn ring going or something, and it disgusts me. I could see why he wouldn't want me to feel that way about him. I know I shouldn't worry. It is nice to have someone else's perspective. Especially when I have a tendency to think so irrationally about things!

[Benjimeister]

I don't think it's irrational, and if you're concerned about his behavior, try and start a dialogue about it, and express how you're feeling, even if its just to say "Hey, you don't have to burn the cable bills, its cool"

[libralady25]

You are so right. I think I will. That is a perfect thing to say.

[Benjimeister]

Glad to have been of help =)

[smoothy]

We have still been having sex, I have just not been too into it...well, until recently. But I agree that it is unreasonable to think he wouldn't be...and I have said that...I guess I just get annoyed that he goes to great lengths to hide it from me, even though he already knows I know.
Thanks for your help!

Trust me a guy can tell if his wife is into it and not just letting him have at it. Perhaps its just his way to get a little excitement into the act even if its him alone doing it. If you decided, or made him feel like he can't have a beer for example... even though he hardly ever drank beer that would make him want a beer just on prionciple.

He is staying at home, and his is obviously being faithful even though it's a less than ideal situation for him. All he is doing is trying to avoid what he feels would be a confrontation situation... and likely he is upset about it but is trying to not be pushed into a situation where he has to voice it out. Therefore he tries to keep it on the down low.

[talaniman]

Half your husband problems are in his head, and how can you be snooping looking through the bills? I think you both assume too much, and should be talking instead of worrying, and hiding things.