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    freakinconfused's Avatar
    freakinconfused Posts: 150, Reputation: 18
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    #1

    Apr 2, 2008, 12:36 PM
    What are Women Looking For in Men?
    Ok, so I've decided to get this little thread going here. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have no game when it comes to the ladies. I need to get this woman business handled so that I can find the right girl for me! And I'm sure there are several guys out there that feel this way, so I figured I would pose this question to all you ladies out there. Don't be afraid to answer honestly!

    What are the top traits and characteristics are women looking for in men?

    Now I know for every woman there are going to be variations. Some might like tall guys, some might like short guys, some might like blond guys, some might like guys with a dark complexion. But I'm not really looking for physical qualities here. There have got to be some overarching qualities, some deep rooted, fundamental qualities aside from physical characteristics that women are looking for in men. I'm really curious to know what these are, as are many other guys out there, because I have a feeling that being an attractive man has little to do with looks, and more to do with personality. But what aspects of an attractive man's personality turn on women?

    Ladies, it's OK to be perfectly honest here. No one knows who is who on this site, so please don't hesitate to give real answers! By being honest and up front about this, you can spread some useful knowledge to some guys who just don't have a clue. Maybe, after several responses, we might see a pattern emerging and can maybe draw some solid conclusions!

    It would probably be helpful to order your responses meaningfully. You know, start with the least important trait and work your way to the most important!
    nkychic's Avatar
    nkychic Posts: 180, Reputation: 70
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    #2

    Apr 2, 2008, 12:44 PM
    Wow... what personality characteristics makes a man attractive to me? When I think of the perfect man, he is first and foremost easy to talk to. I feel comfortable being myself with him and him with me. I love a guy who has a great sense of humor but he HAS to know when to be serious. I want a guy to be sincere and honest no matter how he feels I will take the truth. Sometimes the truth hurts, but no more than lie after lie to cover it up. I want a guy who is somewhat sensitive, but I don't want a guy who is going to cry in every chic flic. Find a happy medium. And please DON"T use pick up lines. There is nothing more refreshing than having a guy come up to you at a bar and just introduce himself (you know, without saying..."All those curves and me with no breaks" lol). I hope I could be of at least a little help.

    <3 Leslie
    HistorianChick's Avatar
    HistorianChick Posts: 2,556, Reputation: 825
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    #3

    Apr 2, 2008, 12:46 PM
    Honesty. Eyes. Spontaneity. Humor. Patience. Being comfortable in himself. Independence.

    Yes, you are very correct. Being an "attractive man" is not all about looks. It goes MUCH deeper than that.

    The whole "eyes" thing is one of the biggest things for me. How can I explain that... eyes. I guess, for me, when a guy looks at my Lara Croft figure more than he does at ME, I'm really turned off. Yes, I'm a Shakespearean dreamer, but when a man talks to me I want him to be really interested in what I'm saying and not just what I look like when I'm saying it. (Don't get me wrong, I appreciate being appreciated, I just want a guy to appreciate my brain as well as my Barbie-ness.)

    Spontaneity... the ability to be unpredictable. I'm very random - ask anyone who has had conversations with me - and don't always like the same old same old. Granted, I'm couch potato girl, but I adore randomness and spontaneous "lets go watch the stars" type of stuff.

    You said not to mention looks, so I won't. :) But really, depth of individuality and uniqueness. That's important to me.
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #4

    Apr 2, 2008, 01:03 PM
    A man that respects me enough as a human to realize that I have a mind and can use it. Whether in politics, culture, entertainment, or just plain 'pillow talk' and sensitivity (being able to just hug and not expect more sometimes).
    A man who does not fear whether I have a 'better education' than he does and gives us a chance to find out if we have other things in common that bond, such as taste in food, humor, lifestyle, etc. And one who does not clam up when the air is a little thick. Communication is a large part of a relationship and should be honest and not compromising just to get what you want in the bedroom and show no other interests elsewhere in the house.

    Also he should not get all huffy when I'm of another opinion either in life, art, or anything else in the world. As long as most of the time we have a chance to have fun just being together, be able to build each other up when feeling down, learn what is important and support each other in no matter what goals or ideas each individual has.

    He should also never give her the feeling that he is superior either financially or idealistically, no matter what country they are from. I could go on and on but this is at least a glimps of what I would appreciate. We all need the feeling of being needed and wanted for who we are - and not what we can be molded into eventually.

    Hope this helped a little.

    P.S. I'm quite sure that this is pretty much of what a man would like in a woman too.


    templelane's Avatar
    templelane Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 227
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    #5

    Apr 2, 2008, 01:08 PM
    Basics
    Humour, Intellgence, Confidence (not arrogance), kindness, a little bit of chivalry, hardworking, fun, generous and thoughtful.

    More specific for me (I think)
    Likes animals, a bit random, good cook, has own friends (ie other people think he's nice too), interested in same things as me (gigs, music, art, comedy).

    Got to go hope this helps!
    Chameleon24's Avatar
    Chameleon24 Posts: 70, Reputation: 7
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    #6

    Apr 2, 2008, 01:15 PM
    I agree with what has been posted. Honesty is really important to me. If a guy has something on his mind he should definitely let his girl know. If a guy truly loves a girl and wants what's best for her, he shouldn't dance around problems or tell her lies just to make her happy. She might feel happy when she first initially hears it, but once she finds out it's not true... she'll feel 10 times worse. Trust me.
    Communication is key. I like a guy who has some of the same interests as me, but could also teach me new things that I didn't know much about before. I think there should be balance in a relationship. If sacrifices need to be made, it should be equal on both sides. I'd like someone who is adventurous and isn't afraid to take risks because I really respect those qualities, but they also have to be responsible and have real motivation for things they want to accomplish.
    freakinconfused's Avatar
    freakinconfused Posts: 150, Reputation: 18
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    #7

    Apr 2, 2008, 06:42 PM
    Wow this is great! Thanks girls, keep 'em coming! I have an idea in my head that this could be a handbook of sorts...
    freakinconfused's Avatar
    freakinconfused Posts: 150, Reputation: 18
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    #8

    Apr 2, 2008, 06:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chery
    As long as most of the time we have a chance to have fun just being together, be able to build each other up when feeling down, learn what is important and support each other in no matter what goals or ideas each individual has.
    Beautifully said Chery!
    freakinconfused's Avatar
    freakinconfused Posts: 150, Reputation: 18
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    #9

    Apr 2, 2008, 06:52 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by templelane
    Basics
    Humour, Intellgence, Confidence (not arrogance), kindness, a little bit of chivalry, hardworking, fun, generous and thoughtful.

    More specific for me (I think)
    Likes animals, a bit random, good cook, has own friends (ie other people think he's nice too), interested in same things as me (gigs, music, art, comedy).

    Got to go hope this helps!
    I think this is a very interesting post templeane! You list humour first and Confidence a bit further down. As a guy, I figured that confidence would be number one with most women...

    Let's examine "confidence" further. What kind of qualities make up a confident man? Is it always being in charge of the situation while with a woman? Is it specific, such as picking the time and place for a date, or more of a general quality, like being sure of himself and actions, despite what others think (including the woman he may be dating or in a relationship with)?

    Is confidence tied to being a man who is a challenge? As I understand, women also like men who are a challenge and live by their own rules. How does a man who challenges a woman behave exactly?
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    #10

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:21 PM
    A man like no other
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    #11

    Apr 2, 2008, 07:41 PM
    You've had ''no game'' when it comes to the ladies because you've never met anyone alike you.have you been yourself?have you been honest?what I mean is ''NNATURAL''.No pick-up lines,no forced politeness,nothing unreal/surreal :)
    If yes,they weren't ready for you.
    If not,try to be yourself.yes,women like confident men,but by confident I mean not afraid to approach them... not timid,no pussies.
    Personally,I hate fake people,and men that are obviously trying to 'woo' me (to get me in bed or even for a date)... I hate people who Try to impress me(makes me feel like they're vain or like they believe I'm naïve enough to fall for whatever they'll do/say)it just doesn't work that way
    And since you're asking this question,I advise you to grow up and be a man,because insecure teens are not hot and do not attract Women
    little firefly's Avatar
    little firefly Posts: 139, Reputation: 36
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    #12

    Apr 2, 2008, 08:16 PM
    1. Honest, but not cocky, or a jerk
    2. Affectionate, but not clingy.
    3. Someone who will treat me like a lady and not their own personal plaything.
    4. A sense of humor
    5. Someone that I can talk to for hours and never run out of things to say
    6. Someone who is not afraid to share his feelings with me
    7. Thoughtful and considerate to the people in his life, including family, friends, coworkers, etc.
    8. Someone who can be a unique individual, and not feel they have to fit into certain stereotypes
    9. Someone who will love me for who I am and not try to change me or compare me to other females... Guys know who I am and what I am when they meet me. If they think they might want to change anything about me then they need not waste their time or mine. If and when I make any changes in my life it will be for me.
    10. Someone who will encourage me when I need lifting, but still love me when I'm down
    11. Someone who when I think of him I can't help but smile :)
    Chery's Avatar
    Chery Posts: 3,666, Reputation: 698
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    #13

    Apr 3, 2008, 11:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by freakinconfused
    I think this is a very interesting post templeane! You list humour first and Confidence a bit further down. As a guy, I figured that confidence would be number one with most women...

    Let's examine "confidence" further. What kind of qualities make up a confident man? Is it always being in charge of the situation while with a woman? Is it specific, such as picking the time and place for a date, or more of a general quality, like being sure of himself and actions, despite what others think (including the woman he may be dating or in a relationship with)?

    Is confidence tied to being a man who is a challenge? As I understand, women also like men who are a challenge and live by their own rules. How does a man who challenges a woman behave exactly?
    When single and alone, yes, but when starting out on a partnership endeaver - challenge should not be priority because there is no contest!



    As I mentioned before, we all are different, but basically, if a man does not have a sense of humor and is stringent - IMO he is looking at 'confidence' the wrong way. And you have to be intelligent enough to understand that confidence comes from experience and growth from within - in spirit, so in templelane's perspective (IMO) a man would have to be able to laugh at himself sometimes, accepts his virtues and shortcomings as being part of all humans (that would show intelligence) - therefore gaining confidence in himself enough to be accepted by others as well.

    Templelane's interest in men who like animals is also a plus to me as I have never been without an animal in my life, from snakes, rabbits, cats and dogs and would not accept a man who objected to me loving animals as much as I do.

    Being a big help in the kitchen - and not just cooking - shows me that a man can be independent and supportive at the same time and not show 'false pride' in doing 'women's work' and proves that he is not just interested in women because they do 'their part' in the kitchen and/or bedroom - which again shows intelligence and reward him in confidence that he is doing the right thing by showing respect and sharing all parts of living in a relationship, therefore affording both quality time together later.

    IMO, the 'quality and confidence' is gained by communication ability and sensitivity in general. So what you are 'examining' here is what a man should actually talk over with in any partnership. Dating is the beginning, and that's where the start of communication is crucial, not demonstration of being a 'challenge'... that can come later when both are confident enough in the relationship to humorously challenge each other and have fun.

    There is a difference between challenge man-to-man and challenge man-to-woman - which again needs to be discussed between the individuals involved. It's like a compatibility test - and they usually don't work or agree if there are more than two people involved. In a group, one can only hit on generalities until we get the 'permission' to become more personal and in a partnership it is that one also starts that way - whether the permission is verbal or through other signals.

    Some women like men to be the boss, some don't.

    Some women like to be the boss, some don't.

    So, the challenge is on both sides - to find out if the puzzle fits, and when it does, there is no telling how happy a couple can wind up being - no matter what room in the house they are in (without getting too deep).

    It all depends on how communicative and/or receptive we all are and what we want in life and how much we are ready to share. And when you are ready to share - you are confident. Sound simple? It isn't.. it's a lot of hard work, but can be so rewarding when well done.

    OK, off my soapbox now, it's someone else's turn next.

    Have a good evening all. I really like this thread - opens all kinds of dialogue.



    svatnsdal's Avatar
    svatnsdal Posts: 183, Reputation: 20
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    #14

    Apr 3, 2008, 11:20 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by freakinconfused
    Ok, so I've decided to get this little thread going here. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have no game when it comes to the ladies. I need to get this woman business handled so that I can find the right girl for me! And I'm sure there are several guys out there that feel this way, so I figured I would pose this question to all you ladies out there. Don't be afraid to answer honestly!

    What are the top traits and characteristics are women looking for in men?

    Now I know for every woman there are going to be variations. Some might like tall guys, some might like short guys, some might like blond guys, some might like guys with a dark complexion. But I'm not really looking for physical qualities here. There have got to be some overarching qualities, some deep rooted, fundamental qualities aside from physical characteristics that women are looking for in men. I'm really curious to know what these are, as are many other guys out there, because I have a feeling that being an attractive man has little to do with looks, and more to do with personality. But what aspects of an attractive man's personality turn on women?

    Ladies, it's ok to be perfectly honest here. No one knows who is who on this site, so please don't hesitate to give real answers! By being honest and up front about this, you can spread some useful knowledge to some guys who just don't have a clue. Maybe, after several responses, we might see a pattern emerging and can maybe draw some solid conclusions!

    It would probably be helpful to order your responses meaningfully. You know, start with the least important trait and work your way to the most important!
    No woman can give you a 100% knowledgeable answer. We all have our tastes in men. I have a great man! For me, and a lot of woman I know, we found the right man from what they had on the inside, not outside. You know the saying, 'never judge a book by the cover'? Always remember that.
    Some woman just want a man for their body and money... okay a lot. However, these are woman who have no care or want for love.
    You can not always get the exact thing you want, you can have your dream girl, but remember they are just a dream, no one is perfect.
    One thing I believe, the more opposite to you, the better they are for you. If you go for a woman that is a carbon copy of you, well that's just being with yourself.
    I wish you luck, but remember, looks aren't everything!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #15

    Apr 5, 2008, 11:10 PM
    Even though I find the responses of the females to be very up front, and honest. I can't help but say they will do you no good, as interesting as they are, because the whole point is, what you want in a female, and are you a match. If you don't know what it is you want, the most perfect female in the world won't fit with you. Just had to throw that in. Sorry ladies, forgive my intrusion.
    l12's Avatar
    l12 Posts: 65, Reputation: 3
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    #16

    Apr 7, 2008, 07:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by freakinconfused
    Ok, so I've decided to get this little thread going here. I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have no game when it comes to the ladies. I need to get this woman business handled so that I can find the right girl for me! And I'm sure there are several guys out there that feel this way, so I figured I would pose this question to all you ladies out there. Don't be afraid to answer honestly!

    What are the top traits and characteristics are women looking for in men?

    Now I know for every woman there are going to be variations. Some might like tall guys, some might like short guys, some might like blond guys, some might like guys with a dark complexion. But I'm not really looking for physical qualities here. There have got to be some overarching qualities, some deep rooted, fundamental qualities aside from physical characteristics that women are looking for in men. I'm really curious to know what these are, as are many other guys out there, because I have a feeling that being an attractive man has little to do with looks, and more to do with personality. But what aspects of an attractive man's personality turn on women?

    Ladies, it's ok to be perfectly honest here. No one knows who is who on this site, so please don't hesitate to give real answers! By being honest and up front about this, you can spread some useful knowledge to some guys who just don't have a clue. Maybe, after several responses, we might see a pattern emerging and can maybe draw some solid conclusions!

    It would probably be helpful to order your responses meaningfully. You know, start with the least important trait and work your way to the most important!
    Ok you asked for it... first of all, there has to be a physical attraction(thats a given) then... You 2 have to connect on a spiritual and academic level. Have the same interest, beliefs, want the same things from this life.ect... when you find that person... Kudos to you. After 20 years of marriage I thought I had it... but the sex is gone... SO.. don't ever think that you can have a relationship without sex... that's why I'm on this sight... we have everything else.but sex and that is SAD... because once the intimacy it gone... your girl will be looking for it somewhere else... So... Bottom line... people think that they are going to be compatible forever and love and sex will be there forever... BUT... with the sex... you have to keep that going... and people get lazy and don't think that ]it's important... shame on them...

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