[[email protected]]

It had been 22 years ago that my long lost fiance' Ken went he's way and I went mine. He told me 2 call him 1 Friday night and I did, but his mom answered and said he was on a date, and I told her just 2 tell him 2 have a good life and I never heard from him again until I married my 1st husband. I had 2 girls by him but he messed around on me but that was because I fell out of love with him after he put a gun 2 my face. So I divorced him, than I married again but of course I should have ended this 1 long before now. He never wanted 2 work and when he did he spent his money on lottery tickets, beer,and cigarettes. And the last straw was when I found a pipe in my home, than I kicked him out and now divorcing him. Any how there are more 2 each of these stories. But I probley wouldn't had started this divorce if it wasn't 4 Ken. But Ken again asked me 2 marry him but hasn't even started on his divorce. What should I do? I can't b hurt by him again. I have always loved him and I have always thought of him all these years. O 1 more thing Ken did try 2 contact me through these years but we were always prevented to be together. More 2 this 1 2. But any how please help me. Sandy

[DrJ]

First of all Sandy, you ARE aware that you can "date" a man without jumping into marriage, right?

From what info you gave, it seems that you have a tendency to jump into marriage quickly. Some fairly odd outcomes of your relationships and they all ended when you were either engaged or already married.

It sounds like Ken (guy #1, Im assuming) went on a date after you two had parted ways... there's nothing wrong with that. Tho you may not have been over the relaionship, you can't hold the fact that he moved on against him.

I would say to give Ken a chance, if you feel that you want to. However, Don't go jumping into a deep relationship where you end up married in a few months. You have been married twice (that we know of) and engaged once (that we know of)... they haven't worked out for you. If something is not working, try something else. If Ken has changed or if he is serious about you two... he shouldn't have any problems waiting a few years for marriage.

[Fr_Chuck]

You get divorced, don't date or take him serious unless he is divorced, or you will just be the other women he is cheating on his wife with.

Next don't jump into a marriage, DATE him, get to see what he is like again.
If he is already asking you to marry him, Jerk comes to mind real quick

You have no idea what he is like, and while he is married you best not find out. Remember if he is so willing to leave this wife and /or cheat on her, most likely it would not take much for him to do the same to you.

[talaniman]

Lets see if I got it right. After two failed marraiges your ex boyfreind who is still married wants to marry you?If I missed something please let me know before I go off on my tangent.For one, you seem to pick losers for husbands ,NOT GOOD! For two,Even after getting the losers out of your life now your messing with a married man who's cheating on his wife with... uh,YOU.Third and not least of which that's three cheating losers in a row.Are we seeing a pattern here,or history repeating itself,or YOU keep making the same mistake over and over and over again? I know you got kids so where do you find the time to marry all these losers.How do you fall for a losers dumbass rap again and again. Answer me this before I go off.What do you think your girls are seeing with all those losers sliding in and out of their mothers life (And theirs too) Raise your right hand and repeat after me " I promise to be a good mother and not bring any more losers in my kids life and not to marry anyone until I raise my kids the best I can":cool: :eek:

[talaniman]

I also just noticed you've started another thread " pregnant"does this have to do with your current situation?:cool:

[[email protected]]

Look you don't really get it, but if you got the time, I could start from the beginning to the end. And if you think I am cheating on my husband you are wrong I wouldn't do that, that is what happened to the first husband I had, he cheated on me down in Daytona on the bike ride (Harley).And far as you thinking I am cheating on my husband you are sadley mistakin, I haven't touchd Ken. My divorse will be final on the 20 of this month. All we have done is talked to each other. And catching up on things that have happened to each of us through the years. And yes if we do get married maybe we will have a baby together if it is not to late. But I tell you what I don't think I will not want to have a baby after I turn 45 cause I am not all that young anymore. And I wouldn't want to go through problems, being that old. And with Ken yes he did ask me to marry him again and we did talk about having a child together. And I don't consider him cheating either cause all we have done is talked about getting back together. And he also doesn't sleep with his wife and hasn't slept with her in a long while, cause he sleeps in his oldest sons room which is 17. So if I have upset you by asking a simple? well sorry because I don't like to make people get mad at me.

[talaniman]

You seem to want to hear that what you are doing is o.k. You don't need us for that. After reading your story I really cannot see anything else to ad.You may not be having sex but you are trying to have a relationship with a married man,and since you haven't said anything about his divorce and he still lives at home what other conclusion can one draw from these fact other than your cheating with a married man?Why have you not said if he's filed for divorce?How come he hasn't moved out of his wife's house? You must see there are to many questions and not enough facts for any one to think your doing the right thing! It almost looks as though he may be giving you a line of crap to get what he wants,on the other hand from what you've told us so far your relationships even with this Ken fellow haven't been all to successful so my advice was to cool it with th marriage thing and concentrate on yourself and getting yourself together.After all must you be married so bad or are you that lonely you just have to have a man around? Don't think I angry just trying to help:cool: