[dooboo]

Okay well I broke up with her yeasterday after 8 months and I told her almost word from word "i think we should take some time apart, i think the best thing for our relationship is to take it threw God because we can't fall in love with eachother untill we fall in love with God, we can't do this on our own" and she was acting perfectly fine with the breakup and then we were being kind of immature by saying oh I wanted to break up a week ago and blah blah blah... but then her mom called to make sure everything was okay and I told her everything and then her mom said don't let her atitude phase you when she gets home from work it will her her and she will most likely be crying, I think that it just caught her at a weird moment and she was in shocked and her defence was like she didn't care... but I don't know what to do I want to be with this girl more than anything but kind of put it on hold till we are both ready in life when we are both finnished with college and my job has set sail, and why that's going on we pray and seek God first until we are both ready.. but I don't think we should talk yet because we need some space right now.. what do you think she is going threw right now? What is she feeling?

[starfirefly]

She may be feeling like you abandond her, she may be cofused on why you want to be with her but not right now, you need to sit down with her and explain this to her just like you did on here, and explain why you feel this way.. thats always needed

[confused25]

Right now she is feeling like the world she once knew has collapsed around her, crushing everything good in sight. The man she loved has left her and she probably doesn't understand how you could love her, but not want to be with her right now. Consequently, she is sad, angry, scared, and the memories of you and her are running through her head, haunting and teasing her. She is having a hard time eating, talking, and sleeping because she is consumed with thoughts of you, like an incurable poison that painfully spreads through the body and mind. All the great times she experienced with you are gone and she is wondering how you could let all of that go. My friend, what she is feeling right now is one of the worst, most painful, and indescribable feelings known to men and women. It's a broken heart.

[dooboo]

Well that's how exactly oh I feel like my heart is broken, I don't have a hard time sleeping or hunger, but thoughts and memorie and all I do is think about her and want to call her but I know I shouldn't.. but part of me thinks she wanted this when she said she was thinking about this a week ago saying our life was to routine and I tried to fix it but I didn't work so I thought I did was right and I know is right for our relatiosnhip I'm just scared she doesn't feel the same, and I must add that is some of the best advice I have ever hurd from you two so thank you!

[talaniman]

but I don't think we should talk yet because we need some space right now.. what do you think she is going threw right now? What is she feeling?

She is devastated and confused like any other human that's been dumped. I really hope you said "I" and not "we" because that's mighty presumptuous of you in my opinion. Geez guy you make it sound mutual, when its not. That's what you wanted, so man up to that. No doubt your affected, but she is in shock. You both will get over it though, and move on.

[confused25]

I agree with Tal. I hope you didn't try speaking for her when you asked for space. I'm not trying to attack you, but this struck a chord for me because my ex-girlfriend told me a few times during the break up "This is the best for you and me." It made me very angry and I kept telling her "Who are you to tell me whats best for me? Don't make decisions for me."

Just be respectful of her feelings, that's all you can do in these situations.

[xxluvmexxhatemexx]

okay well i broke up with her yeasterday after 8 months and i told her almost word from word "i think we should take some time apart, i think the best thing for our relationship is to take it threw God because we can't fall in love with eachother untill we fall in love with God, we can't do this on our own" and she was acting perfectly fine with the breakup and then we was being kinda immature by saying oh i wanted to break up a week ago and blah blah blah... but then her mom called to make sure everything was okay and i told her everything and then her mom said dont let her atitude phase you when she gets home from work it will her her and she will most likly be crying, i think that it just caught her at a weird moment and she was in shocked and her defence was like she didnt care... but i dont know what to do i want to be with this girl more than anything but kinda put it on hold till we are both ready in life when we are both finnished with college and my job has set sail, and why thats going on we pray and seek God first until we are both ready.. but i dont think we should talk yet because we need some space right now..what do you think she is going threw right now? what is she feeling?

I think it was the right thing to do because if you needded some space you needed some space and she will just have to learn to live with herself she can't just go around telling you what to do fing someone who is right for u. comment back to tell me how its going

[lostissues]

Not trying to make you the bad guy in this situation, but, it seems like you're breaking up because YOU think that it's better this way, that YOU'RE doing this because YOU want to have a career and an education. You said that you're doing this because you believe that you guys need time to concentrate on what really matters (in your opinion at least): school and jobs. Yet, have you thought about things from her point of view? Perhaps she is ready, maybe she can balance all three things (you, jobs, school) at the same time. You practically stripped her of her say in all this.

I think that you need to tell her the underlying issues of the break up. She's not going to wait for you forever. You broke up with her saying that this is for the best, but, is it really? You want to wait until your career takes flight, but, how long is that going to take?

I hope you are sure about this break up. Don't regret your decision. You might put her aside for something else, but don't expect her to be waiting for you, cause she won't be.

However, at the same time, I don't think that you did something wrong. You weren't ready and you needed some time, that's understandable. You were trying to be fair to her by not tying her down when you weren't sure what you wanted. This break up probably hurts you as much as it hurts her. It took guts to break it up.



PS--I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm attacking you, I didn't mean it like that, sorry!

[dooboo]

This answer is for all who posted, I apreciate everything you said but I don't want to take that in as good feedback because its so hard for you to understand.. I broke up with her to have be kind of a break for s not to foget each other and take our relationship threw God, because you cannot fall in love with a girl unless you fall in love with God. We are both young and immature right now I know that, and tal I'm not that guy to make things mutual.. it was mutual we both knew what we had to do.. even though we loved each other if God really has something for us we can't take it in our own power, we have to fulfill Gods will before we can use our own strength for a relationship, she might now even be my wife... but I broke up with her to be obidient and find my path, and if she doesn't feel like right way then I don't regret what I did because she isn't my wife she is a building relationship that helps you but isn't for you,if that makes since. So I apologize for not explaining, but that's how I feel and I don't think I'm the bad guy because I did the to build our relationship.

[confused25]

You got to do what you got to do. If this was the best thing for you than don't be ashamed of your decision. All I'm saying is not to hide behind those decisions by playing them off as though she feels the same way. She may or may not agree. When you decide to do something for yourself than stand by that and only speak for yourself. You are not a bad person at all and no one is suggesting otherwise. Everyone here always says that you have to do what's best for you. Since you feel ending this relationship was the right thing for you than more power to you. None of us think you are a bad person. In all honesty, congratulations on taking your life in the direction you want to take it.

[talaniman]

this answer is for all who posted, I apreciate everything you said but I don't want to take that in as good feedback because its so hard for you to understand..

Your assuming we don't understand, that's wrong. I think your good at assuming what others feel, and that may not be healthy, but its your call to make.

[dooboo]

Thanks confusing, and tala I'm am not saying you don't understand at all, but I love this girl and we were able to talk about everything yesterday and she felt the same way and wanted what I wanted to go threw, even though it sucks we broke up God has something way better for us whetere we are suppose to be together and she is my wife or she is suppose to be my friend but I don't want to go on and date her if she isn't my wife, so I'm just saying its hard to understand, and I'm sorry if you do fill me in on what you understand.

[nickshehe]

I'm sorry to disagree with you, I'm not a very religious person but I feel you ought to be accountable for your own actions. I don't know if you're both religious in that sense, but if I ever got dumped and told that I have to love god first I would be one very pi**ed off person.. I find your posts confusing in that, you say you want to be with her but you want to put it on hold.. why? Why ruin something good? Sure your education is important.. But millions balance a relationship and working hard in school.. If you love someone this isn't enough of a reason to leave them.. and if I was in her shoes I wouldn't take you back after your "job has set sail"..
If she makes you happy then be with her.. I think you may be confused for other reasons..

[shellbell2228]

"Not right now" is bull-o-nee. It means "Not that into you". Be honest with her and yourself. Don't string her along with "what ifs" and "maybes"

[ldyastrid]

this answer is for all who posted, i apreciate everything you said but i dont wana take that in as good feedback because its so hard for you to understand.. i broke up with her to have be kinda a break for s not to foget eachother and take our relationship threw God, because you cannot fall in love with a girl unless you fall in love with God. We are both young and immature right now i know that, and tal im not that guy to make things mutual.. it was mutual we both knew what we had to do.. even though we loved eachother if God really has something for us we can't take it in our own power, we have to fulfill Gods will before we can use our own strength for a relationship, she might now even be my wife... but i broke up with her to be obidient and find my path, and if she dosnt feel like right way then i dont regret what i did because she isnt my wife she is a building relationship that helps you but isnt for you,if that makes since. So i apologize for not explaining, but thats how i feel and i dont think im the bad guy because i did the to build our relationship.

You sound as if you broke up with her to see if it is God's will that you two are together... do you think that He's going to send you a sign? You sent HER a sign - you broke up with her and want no contact... you want her to wait around for someone who won't even talk to her? It's almost as if you broke up with her to see if she'd start a relationship with someone else - and if she did, then she wasn't meant for you in the first place.

Or are you testing God?

I know if I were her, I would think that you broke up and are in the process of moving on and expect that from me. Are you hoping she's going to contact you and tell you she can't live without you?

You say "I broke up with her to be obedient" Who's telling you to break up with her?

You broke up with her to build the relationship... that doesn't make sense.