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    dragnlady5's Avatar
    dragnlady5 Posts: 88, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #21

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:37 AM
    I do love him though I do want him I'm just confused with my feelings though
    I am sorry. I was in an abusive relationship. I thought the man loved me. But later in life I have come to realize he didn't. How can you love someone and then treat them so badly. What you are doing to this man is emotional and verbal abuse. It uis damageing to him. You don't love him or you wouldn't treat him this way. Do you have any pets? I bet they get better treatment from you.
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #22

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:48 AM
    Your not here though you don't no what goes on. I'm not that awful at all. I'm just confused wi my emotions. I want to feel what he does me. If it is so bad why would he be with me still. I just funno what to do I want to make this work but don't know how.yes I have a cat. We argue constantly about silly things but maybe that's all me and I need to get a grip and realise he only wants me instead of thinking he wants someone else. Or am I spoilt or attention seeking? All I no is I want to love him. He's so good to me and we do do lovely things together I just don't see that we do I don't see anything this is the point I'm making
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
     
    #23

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:51 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    your not here tho you dont no what goes on. im not that awful at all. im just confused wi my emotions. i want to feel what he does me. if it is so bad why would he be with me still. i just funno what to do i want to make this work but dunno how.yes i have a cat. We argue constantly about silly things but maybe thats all me and i need to get a grip and realise he only wants me instead of thinking he wants someone else. or am i spoilt or attention seeking?? all i no is i want to love him. hes so good to me and we do do lovely things together i just dont see that we do i dont see anything this is the point im making


    You want him because he is good to you.. that's selfish,, you don't want him because you LOVE him you already established you don't feel anything for him, you don't love him.. YOU WANT TO LOVE HIM, but you don't... I Don't know what else to say to you there is nothing on here anyone can say to make you TRY to love someone, If you want to start loving him, start by letting him go.. Then you can appreciate his worth.. Love yourself that much to let him go and let him be happy. He is probably staying with you because it became routine, or perhaps he just likes the abuse..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #24

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:54 AM
    You have to know yourself, and love yourself, before you can share it with others. That's where you need to start, not with him, but with YOU!
    hayleyxx's Avatar
    hayleyxx Posts: 31, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #25

    Mar 27, 2008, 07:57 AM
    I think I start arguments cz I'm bord and maybe I'm attention seeking I don't know. I want to be with him but scared of trying to make it work now in case I feel the same as now and were bac k to step 1. my boyfreind said to me just chill out and just drop things don't keep bringing it all up. If sumets bugging you say at the time don't just say it day later when you et angry bow sumet else then bring that up. Do you think if I stop doing that then itl work? Or ask him to tell me what I need to change
    jolienoire's Avatar
    jolienoire Posts: 917, Reputation: 166
    Senior Member
     
    #26

    Mar 27, 2008, 08:04 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by hayleyxx
    i think i start arguments cz im bord and maybe im attention seeking i dunno. i want to be with him but scared of trying to make it work now incase i feel the same as now and were bac k to step 1. my boyfreind sed to me just chill out and just drop things dont keep bringing it all up. if sumets bugging you say at the time dont just say it day later when you et angry bow sumet else then bring that up. Do you think if i stop doing that then itl work? or ask him to tell me what i need to change

    You keep doing and saying the same thing and expect different results... I don't get it... It doesn't make any sense.. it's like drinking from the same dirty cup everyday eventually you will get sick... clean up your act.

    The end.. You keep asking the same question in a different context.. how in the world can he tell you what you need to change, YOU already know.. Okay this is my last response to this post.
    in a state's Avatar
    in a state Posts: 80, Reputation: 12
    Junior Member
     
    #27

    Mar 27, 2008, 10:38 AM
    So tell him how you really feel about him,tell him what you've told us.that you want to make it work but just don't feel it enough.that you're having a good time with him,but just don't feel it enough.if you'd stop lying to him,maybe you'd stop lying to yourself:that there doesn't seem to be any reason why you should go on with this relationship
    If you don't feel such a special connection between you two,then it means it shouldn't be hard for you to move on... let him go.you'll be fine without him,you've said so,that you don't miss him when you don't see him.don't be afraid to leave something that doesn't work for either of you,quit wasting both of your time.you'll be fine.you'll stop being and feeling guilty.

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