[Nalomeli23]

I thought that my ex and I were a good match when we first got together but after my pregnancy occurred I decided because of his disinterest that it was best to end our relationship. Before our relationship dissolved and the birth of our son, I cared for his children also, so it was important to me for us to remain friends at best. In my heart I've tried to be kind to him, loaned him money, babysitted his children, bought him groceries,etc. Not expecting that my gestures be repaid but just recently I found out that he is still married as where he told me before that he was divorced, and before it was revealed to his "wife" that he had another child (our son in common) they had recently gotten back together (she left him as soon as she found out my son was his). I'm very angry that he would lie about my son and lied to me about being married still. And even though I've tried I find it impossible to be his friend or for that matter trust him with our son because he has lied so much. I know that it really doesn't matter how I feel about him but how help my feelings change so we maintain a healthy relationship for our son? Help.

[jolienoire]

but how help my feelings change so we maintain a healthy relationship for our son? Help.

THink about your son, and not what you had or what he did to you, of course its going to be difficult but it isn't impossible, remember this is the guy who lied to you, you were in love with a different person, the one you thought was divorced. Importantly don't let your focus be concerned with how he treated you now as you said its about your child. As long as he is helping you to support the child, and taking care of his responsibilities as a father then that should be the only concern you should have right now.. Trust me, I am divorced from a cheating man but have two beautiful children, their father is remarried, and moved to another state. My main concern is the well being of my children, and how they will be supported. I know at most times I have to play two roles but you know what Its important to me to provide a drama free atmosphere for them with or without the father.

I wouldn't suggest the two of you being left alone in a room either, because a lot of emotions can be exchanged, unless you are at a point where you can be comfortable with being around him. I know it is going to be tough for you, you feel betrayed, but look at your son, and look at what you have made, something good has come out of the relationship. LIFE... Keep focus on your son... that is how you maintain a healthy relationship... You and him are done...

[talaniman]

You may be tied to him by a child, but that doesn't mean he will be involved in your life, since you only have to put what's in the best interest of the child first. Be good parents, and that's it.