[issues]

I'm 26, I've been with my wife for 6 years now (married 3 1/2 years) we have a 3 year old boy and a second child on the way, we've just bought a house and on the outside seem to have the perfect life together. I love my son to bits and love being a father, and as for my wife - she's an angel, I smile every time I look at her and I can't bare to be away from either of them...

Yet, since the day I met my wife I have cheated on her, at first it was just flirting and making out with other girls, and then after about a year it was sleeping with them, I've slept with probably close to 50 women in the past 5 years (and tried to sleep with many more - I've met them either in clubs or on the net),

Just recently I contracted chlamydia from one of these women and I passed it onto my wife, so I was forced to tell her (I could not bring myself to tell her the whole story so I lied again and said that it was an isolated incident and I would never do it again) she was very upset and wanted to leave at first but after talking things through she stayed. Things seem to have gone back to normal now and she seems to have forgiven me, but I know she has not forgotten and will be checking my phone bill when it comes in.

I know this behavior is wrong, but I just cannot help myself, just 2 nights ago I went to a club and met a girl who I have been talking to since then and will probably see her. I don't know what to do, I feel so guilty all the time and I'm so sick of lying to my wife - she deserves better, but I don't want to lose my family... :( :( :(

[Alty]

Okay, you asked for advice and I'm going to give it to you.

You can't help it? Really? What, it's all an accident, you go to a club where you know there will be women, you flirt with these women, you leave with these women, and you have sex with these women, and you get diseases from these women and pass them on to your pregnant wife. Wow, you are a great guy, what a catch. (sarcasm)

You can help it, you don't want to, there's a difference. No body is forcing you to cheat on your wife, that's all up to you. You're like a drug addict, instead of staying away from temptation you deliberately go places that you know you will be tempted. My God boy, grow up.

You want to know what you can do to stop? I don't think my answer will please you, cut off the problem, your other brain, the one that you are obviously thinking with. As for loving your wife, I don't think so. People don't do things like this to people they love.

Get some professional help, confess to your wife and pay the consequences, you deserve nothing less.

[jolienoire]

i'm 26, i've been with my wife for 6 years now (married 3 1/2 years) we have a 3 year old boy and a second child on the way, we've just bought a house and on the outside seem to have the perfect life together. i love my son to bits and love being a father, and as for my wife - she's an angel, i smile everytime i look at her and i can't bare to be away from either of them...

yet, since the day i met my wife i have cheated on her, at first it was just flirting and making out with other girls, and then after about a year it was sleeping with them, i've slept with probably close to 50 women in the past 5 years (and tried to sleep with many more - i've met them either in clubs or on the net),

Just recently i contracted chlamydia from one of these women and i passed it onto my wife, so i was forced to tell her (i could not bring myself to tell her the whole story so i lied again and said that it was an isolated incident and i would never do it again) she was very upset and wanted to leave at first but after talking things through she stayed. Things seem to have gone back to normal now and she seems to have forgiven me, but i know she has not forgotten and will be checking my phone bill when it comes in.

i know this behavour is wrong, but i just cannot help myself, just 2 nights ago i went to a club and met a girl who i have been talking to since then and will probably see her. i don't know what to do, i feel so guilty all the time and im so sick of lying to my wife - she deserves better, but i don't want to lose my family.....:( :( :(

If you love your wife and son that much you would stop, then you would be honest and deal with the consequences that comes with your actions. I think you are acting impulisvely, selfishly. When you were in these promiscuous acts you weren't thinking of your wife or son obviously and for you to bring an STD to her is even scarier that you are not protecting yourself. I really think you need to seek professional help, and I agree with the comment above tell her the truth and deal with the consequences. I think the only person you Love is yourself, you wouldn't be putting her through what you are putting her through. There is really no excuses because you are looking for women, and you go for the vulnerable ones... I think your behavior is repulsive. I am no one to judge, but I rather hate someone for telling me the truth than love them for telling me lies, she will resent you for this and may Never forgive you... Counseling is definitely needed in this situation, I honestly don't think you want to stop because you would have after the STD, it could have been something more serious perhaps and uncurable disease. You are putting your family in jeopardy it's not fair. Love them enough to seek help and stand up and be responsible for your actions before you dig a deeper hole... BTW, I don't know why you stated your age, perhaps looking for someone validate your behavior because you may have not sowed your oats, well I am not going to say that , because you are a man now and your problems are psychological you are lacking something in your own life and are seeking attention for your behavior without thinking the consequences habitual behavior, and it's time to grow up 18-99 maturity has nothing to do with age... First step admit you have a problem, and get help.

[talaniman]

What a rotten shame, and I hope you get some very good professional help, before you bring home something worse than chlamydia to your wife. You need all the help you can get. If you can't get help, just leave as abandonment would be better than what your doing now, and she and your kids, will at least have a chance at peace and happiness.

[bushg]

Wow, you must have such low self esteem issues if you need so many women's attention. I agree with the people that said you need counseling. Also you are untrustworthy and that must really make you feel worthless. Esp. given the fact that you have such a loving wife.

Beside the disease that you have given her there is the hpv virus along with the other diseases that are incurable. I hope that you go and get a complete checkup from your doctor.
Manup and stop going to the clubs instead find different ways of entertaining yourself, such as doing things with your family, helping to take care of your son and teaching him how to color, play ball.
I really feel sorry for you, your wife and your poor little children.

[friend4u178]

Are you serious... you don't want to lose your family yet you still continue this behaviour , its even premeditated.

Well you know what she will find out if you keep doing it and you will lose them , Karma is a wonderful thing!

[issues]

You're all right, I'm going to stop now.. I've removed all temptation - deleted all internet accounts (after this month I won't even have net access at home), phone numbers, quit drinking and told my friends that I won't be going out from now on... you're right, time to quit ing and take responsibility for my actions...

[jolienoire]

you're all right, i'm going to stop now.. i've removed all temptation - deleted all internet accounts (after this month i won't even have net access at home), phone numbers, quit drinking and told my friends that i won't be going out from now on... you're right, time to quit ing and take responsibility for my actions...

Then make sure you tell the truth... Can't fully heal if you cover up your behavior.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

It's a good thing that chlamydia is curable.

Other STDs are not.

Make sure your wife gets tested for the HPV virus because that can lead to serious issues.

On the other hand, I think that you should tell your wife just how many people you've slept with so that she can leave your sleezy a**. 50 women? That is SO repulsive. Thank GOD I'm monogamous.

Get some damn respect for yourself!

[HistorianChick]

Professional help. This is an addiction, just like drugs and drunks. You're addicted to it.

You're ruining your family, you're endangering their lives (who knows if you've been in contact with HIV?), and you're refusing to stop. Your wife was an angel to not kick you out when she found out you had given her an STD... that's more grace than I would have extended.

Bottom line. Get help. Get a chastity belt if you have to. But get help.

Your wife and your child deserve better.

[statictable]

Thanks for sharing your history with all of us. First, your wife must be told. Second, she needs to be tested for HIV/STDs. Third, you need to find another place and 4th, she needs to file for divorce today. Good luck