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    terplike's Avatar
    terplike Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 22, 2008, 10:56 PM
    What should I do about my ex?
    I dated a woman for three years and we have been apart now for about 20 months. We have stayed in contact the entire time, never been with anyone else (sexually) and go out occasionally. The relationship was difficult as during out dating period both of my parents were dying of cancer (and died 11 months apart), I was experiencing some financial difficulties which were new to me, and my ex's father committed suicide. We argued quite a bit but honestly, I was not myself. Depressed, angry, and mad at the world. I have begun to realize how much I truly love this woman. Unfortunately, she is quite hesitant to engage in another relationship with me. I was distant, cold, and pretty much acted like a jerk much of the time. I can assure you this was not my normal personality. I am now financially stable, have a great outlook on life, and I would be so happy to have her back. My ex has a hard time of letting go of the past. I know she loves me. She has told me she always will but again, she is afraid to take a chance. Should I continue to let her know how I feel? Should I leave her alone? An email from her recently in response to me asking her to dinner was, "I can't commit to an entire night with you now....wish I could...but I have to do what is right for me, ok?" I get mixed messages but I don't want to put myself through anguish for nothing and I certainly do not want to be her beast of burden either. Any comments would be greatly appreciated.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #2

    Mar 23, 2008, 01:15 AM
    Just start over. Ask her to an early dinner, and let her know you have to drop her off early because of ______.

    Go slow, no pressure, don't go back to anything as if your were picking up where you left off. All new, all short dates for now. Give her time to trust you without you even having to mention it.
    terplike's Avatar
    terplike Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Mar 23, 2008, 05:48 PM
    Sound advice I must say... my biggest problem is telling her all the time she can trust me. Although this statement is the absolute truth, she doesn't have to believe it... Your are so right in saying let her learn to trust me without mentioning it... many, many thanks.
    jasmine_rezzag's Avatar
    jasmine_rezzag Posts: 191, Reputation: 10
    Junior Member
     
    #4

    Mar 23, 2008, 11:49 PM
    If you really want her back,and she still love you,why not have a try? I think she need more confidence and safety from you to take a chance!Woman is always easy to be touched,do something! Good luck!

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