[ihatewestseneca]

I recently spoke to a friend of mine about his best friend, who apparently used to cut and has thoughts of suicide. Now I used to hang out the E (possibly suicidal friend) a lot, but I haven't seen him in a few months.

Now I care about this guy a lot, but I just don't know what advice to give or even how to talk to him about it. Do I even talk to him about it? How can I make him feel loved? How can I make help him turn these thoughts of suicide around?

[foreverblue8691]

:-( I cut myself and sometimes have sucidal thoughts, I've gotten so far as to write a letter a few times. I guess what always stops me is knowing my family would be upset. I hate the thought of hurting someone I love so much. My friends and family would be upset, in the end knowing that people love me and would be upset is enough to stop me. Perhaps making your friend feel loved is the answer. And YES YES YES talk to him about it, if he trusts you enough to tell you then he trusts you enough to listen to what you have to say about the matter. Talk to him about it, tell him people love him, tell him how much you would miss him. Don't walk on eggshells around him, it will drive him crazy. Act the way you normally do

[ihatewestseneca]

Thanks... that's what I figured... but I don't want to be too invasive.

[foreverblue8691]

Its OK to be nosy when someone is in danger, even if they are in danger from themselves...

[foreverblue8691]

Now I feel brave enough to ask for advice about my own dark scary thoughts. Thank you

[Wondergirl]

now i feel brave enough to ask for advice about my own dark scary thoughts.

Like what thoughts? What would be dark and scary?

[templelane]

Don't be fooled into think that talking about suicidal can encourage somebodies suicidal thoughts. I find if I want to ask somebody I just go out and say it, I find directness is the best method.

"I have notice you have been very introspective/down/behaving strangely recently, do you feel alright? Are you suicidal?"

Maybe follow up with

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to but I want you to talk I'm alway here."


Quiet often it is a pleasant surprise to the person that somebody actually noticed.

Although often just being there as a friend is enough.

Good luck and remember you have to look after yourself first if you want to look after others.

[firmbeliever]

I agree with templelane,
By inquiring about it might help the other person be more open and express his thoughts .

As you know your friend better than us,you should choose the best approach.

Let him get to the reason at his own time,but be there asking questions about normal things too.Everyday details which he might be more willing to discuss.During such conversations you could ask for more details on things that seem to bother him.Maybe,just maybe he will let you in on his secrets and the reason for his suicidal thoughts.

Even suggest help through someone who is knowledgeable, counsellor/adult family member or any other help you could get him to go to.

On another note I would also like to say that one must remember that not everyone will see our solutions to their problems as the right one.
If that person has already decided to take their life and this happens even after your talk with them and your support and love for them,do not I repeat do not blame yourselves for it.
We can show as much support as we want to them,stand by them,advise them and even show them alternatives.
Be prepared for their negative thoughts too.They may even want to push those away that seem to care for them,because they do not want to think of alternatives,like finding a solution to their problems which might make life easier or better or even tolerable.

Be persistent,know that it maybe their pain that pushes you away.

I hope you are able to get to him and help him in some small or big way to make an impact on his life.