[gidgit75]

I agree, let her go. Does it really matter if she's cheating on you or not? She's acting like a total f***in baby! She wants space! No she's either cheating on you or trying to see how long you will stay. You try to break up and she all she says is no that's not what I want! "Absence makes the heart grow stronger" I'm in the Air Force and sometimes have to leave for a while. I miss my boyfriend every day that I am gone and physically ache without him. Let her go! If she really loves you she will come back. Don't be rude about though, be very strong. Say something like, "I love you and want you to come back so I can help u." I f she says no say. "I'm sorry that you have these problems but when you don't allow me to help I feel physically and emotionally weighed down." Your problems are affecting my life and I can't hold this weight anymore. Why don't you call me when you have this figured out and maybe we can go get a drink and talk, but not until you work your stuff out." Be strong, don't be a crying wimp when you talk to her! But don't be rude, or raise your voice. If she physically hurts w/out u she will come back.

[Wildcat21]

Gig - that's really not good advice at all. Sharing his feeling now will just push her away. That might work in the movies... but not in real life.

[Wildcat21]

Matt - I was thinking about your situation again...

You do understand that YOU pushed her away. I am sure over the last 6 months, mayeb you changed - the needed, clingy, possesive we talked about - see WHEN you act insecure like that - you CHANGE HER feelings... when needed those care free , sexy, confidence, teasing, FUN things a guy can give her...

This new guy gives this to her. Right now she remember the bad stuff from the last 6 months.

One thing YOU HAVE TO TAKE FROM THIS is... QUIT LETTING ALL THESE LITTLE THNGS BOTHER YOU!!

Around women you need to be the fun - non-carrying guy.

[blueiman]

bro, just the thought of her F'ING someone else makes my blood boil...... is ur girl seeing someone else, or is she single? after 2 months im sure she is missing u. do u think she will contact u soon? its only a month im going thru this crap, and mine is seeing someone else, and im pretty sure she started to see him when she was still with me, and F'ING me. MY BLOOD IS IN CONSTANT BOIL.

My friend, you need to stop thinking about another man with your exgf. I know it is tough but you have to talk/see other women. And just forget her asap. The less you know what is going on with her the better for you. A lot of women make up the rules. Does not mean you have to follow or agree with. You have you own opinion. So, stop thinking about it. Find something else to do. Geez there are lots of women out there to have fun with. Go get/find her!

[gidgit75]

I wouldn't listen to anyone in here. Do what you feel is right. Nobody is in your shoes but you. Do what you want! Just know that everything will eventually work itself out. The question is when and that's between you and your girl. Even if people in here have been where you are, they actually haven't because THEY R NOT U!!

[blueiman]

I wouldn't listen to anyone in here. Do what you feel is right. Nobody is in your shoes but you. Do what you want! Just know that everything will eventually work itself out. The question is when and that's between u and your girl. Even if people in here have been where u r, they actually haven't because THEY R NOT U!!!!!

Hi gidgit75, and welcome to the forum. I agree with you here. True, we all don't know the total deal unless we talk to both people involved. So, you may not want to listen to anyone here. But, please cont to give us your opinion. Thanks and have fun...

[mattvit]

We spoke yesterday. I got drunk and smoked up and was downing hard I did something STUPID and I called her cell like at 4 in the morning, I didn't know what I was doing. Anyway, she called me like at 1030 the next morning. I had no idea it was her because I was on the other line. So she asked what was wrong if something happened for me to have called at an odd time. I told her I was in an accident and I called her like that. I couldn't tell her I smoked up and was drunk. I just couldn't. Anyway, she was like crap I had a feeling when I went to bed something was wrong. I've been thinking of you lately and I miss u. we talked about the fake accident and she was crying and like omg I could have lost you and all that crap. Anyway, she pops out by saying I'm so sorry for being mean to you and a bi#tch. She's like I want you to know that I love you so much and I always will. I was like why u saying that now, its been like 1.5 months you don't say anything like this. She was like well I really do and I want you to know. She asked if I loved her because what if she wants me back that she needs to know. I totally tried to avoid it. She knows how I feel so I didn't really have to say it , although during the conversation I probably did. During the conversation I tried to let her go and hang up but she was crying and didn't want to. We ended it that we both still love each other and she's like I'm not ready I need a little time to get something's straightend out(not in so many words). I know she is seeing someone else because I saw it with my own eyes, so is traight out lying about not being with anyone.might be the ex.. who knows, possibly everything with her is a lye. I don't know anymore honestly. This girl is either really messed up in her head, or she really is playing some F'ed up game.

[Wildcat21]

Dude - Sorry to she's playing you. It is a game, sorry to say. Stringing you along. Are you with her? No.

[mattvit]

Fu#ck Seriously. FU#CKIN Girls.

[Wildcat21]

Matt - I just believe - this particular gal is not good for you. Lots of great ones out there.

And what's up the boozing and smoke? Is this a problem? It can REALLY screw up your judgement.

[mattvit]

No, not a problem at all. I was just out and things happened. I was probably more into it because of all this crap. And yes it did provide me with poor judgment. I called her because I was messed up. Lol and look what happened. She strung me back, after I told her have a nice life. Damn it! I just don't get why she would go through all this trouble to string me. Like I've been through it before, but just not this damn bad. Its like she's going out of her way to make sure I'm strung, like she's desperate to hold onto me.

[Lansing]

She wants you to want her... She doesn't want to feel rejected but, at the same time, she doesn't want you...

I agree with everyone else. She doesn't seem like a good girl for you. You should move on and find someone else.

[Chery]

Matt - I was thinking about your situation again....

You do understand that YOU pushed her away. I am sure overthe last 6 months, mayeb you changed - the needed, clingy, possesive we talked about - see WHEN you act insecure like that - you CHANGE HER feelings....when needed those care free , sexy, confidence, teasing, FUN things a guy can give her......

This new guy gives this to her. Right now she remember the bad stuff from the last 6 months.

One thing YOU HAVE TO TAKE FROM THIS is..............QUIT LETTING ALL THESE LITTLE THNGS BOTHER YOU!!!!!

Around women you need to be the fun - non-carrying guy.

Dear Mattvit: I have to agree with Wildcat - you are not ready for any relationship due to feeling too sorry for yourself at the moment and venting your anger. Check yourself out by living with yourself and reflecting on some of the things you might have done wrong - it's possible - since nobody is 100 percent perfect. Until you can learn "How to be Your Own Best Friend" (a real old book) don't expect others to like you or the way you act. Currently you are on the defensive side and want to blame everyone else for your failures - that's not fair to you or anyone else right now. The world is not getting any easier and unless you learn how to be strong and handle rejection like the rest of us, you will continue to fail no matter with whom you start a relationship. Sorry, but that's the straight hard fact. Drinking and smoking will not help you get better either - they only make things worse - I know that from personal experience.

Until you can learn to leave the past in the past and not compare others and look forward in life, leave women alone for now and work on yourself. Once you have grown up and straightened out you will have something to offer and will deserve to receive being treated better. We all go through trials and tribulations and it's on us to learn from them or go down so far to never be able to get up and trust others.

YES, life Sucks! But you and only you can do something to change your life to make it better.

gidgit75 bluntly said not to listen to anyone here - then what is this forum for?? You can glean from our experience and advice, but what you do with it is your choice - that's what we are here for - to give our few cents worth and food for thought to help.

But in the end, it's up to you. So take a good look at yourself, see the pros and cons and what you have to offer and benefit from.

So, now stop feeling sorry for yourself, don't blame others, and get out there and start a new chapter in your life.

Lots of luck and keep us posted. We are here for you if you need us but we can't magically change things for you - that's your job.



We all go through crap, it's up to us how to get out of it.

[Wildcat21]

Matt - please listen to Chery - she knows what she is tallking about and only has your best interest.

I agree, from experience, alcolhol and drugs will make things only 10 times worse.

And Gidgit - this isn't a movie - this is the real world. Things don't work that way in real life. It's not that easy.

[mattvit]

Hey, its 1.5 months I'm in this crap and I've taken everyone's advise. But yet its still hard for me. Like I talk with other girls and keep myself busy again like workingout, school, playing music, talking and hanging out with friends... but I still find myself thinking of the ex and the stuff we did together and I miss it. She was my first serious girlfriend and experienced everything together first time around and its really hard on me still. I find that keeping myself busy is like a cover up for what I'm feeling. How do I deal with the feelings/love I still have? Anything else I should be doing?

[Wildcat21]

Trust me dude - there will be many more gals. You WILL laugh at this one day and realize there are better women for you. 1 1/2 months isn't a enough time usually to get over a gal.

A new one WILL pop into your life and change every thing - just don't make her so important early on. Ok?

[mattvit]

This girl was for fing hooooottttt!! That's probably why its hard for me, because my friends told me bro, if this girl was regular you woulnd be freaking out like this. And I'm sure their right.. . but, I will definitely not make the next girls important as I did with this one. I really pushed it. I was involved in every aspect of her life and helped her with everything. Obviously I shouldn't have, but these girls man they don't appreciate anything, after all the trouble I helped her get out of and get her life on track, she does this crap.totally heartless!! I'm never trusting anyone again

[lost??]

There will be other girls, you will get over her. I've been seeing this other girl for a couple weeks now. Its nothing serious although I think id like it to be. The key is not to make her too important. I don't talk to this girl everyday and I'm fine with that. In fact, she's usually the one contacting me or asking me to call her. And you know what, each day I think less and less about my ex. I'm not at that point yet where I can laugh about it because ill tell you the truth, it still hurts a little. I do still have feelings for my ex a little bit but I have no desire to get back with her, even if she came to me right now and promised to do anything to take it all back. My point is that you need to meet other girls and learn a lot from this experience. Don't regret it because there is so much you can learn from it that will help you out in future relationships. But don't let her drag you along either. I never though id get to the other side but trust me you will, took me three months. It just takes time. In the meantime, go out and meet new people. You'll be kicking yourself in the *** if you don't, trust me

[blueiman]

these girls man they dont appreciate anything, after all the trouble i helped her get out of and get her life on track, she does this crap.totally heartless!!! im never trusting anyone again

Wrong! These girls don't appreciate it... Wrong! These girls do appriciate it. But, your delivery was way off my friend. This girl can be with any man. You just was not that man. Bs, "after all the trouble i helped her get out of" whatever dude. This was your decision you did it you wanted to help. So get off you sorry a$$ soap box and quit complaining. Geez take responsibility for what you did. Not what she did to you. If she did stupid stuff to you... you should have broke it off. Da. So, either be the man... or let it go and move on. Can you handle her... apparently not. So, some other man will. Try not to think about it. Find another sweetie and be the man she needs in her life. Don't be the mechanic, builder, fix it guy. Just be her man. Give her what she wants and needs. And if you don't know what that is, then figure it out. Good luck my friend.

[mattvit]

So, she contacted me lastnite wanting me back. She was seeing another guy and couldn't keep it from me anymore and she wants me in her life again, misses what we had and can't go on being a horible person and wants to try to be together again..?