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MaryP · Mar 18, 2008, 11:51 AM

One of my nephews has just gotten engaged and I have no idea what to give as a gift. He got engaged on Tues. and registered on Thursday. When do I send the gift, there is talk of an engagement party this summer? I am very close to his mother and don't want to cause hard feelings. Is there a monetary amount I should be considering?

mafiaangel180 · Mar 18, 2008, 11:55 AM

To be quite honest, I would only give a gift when they get married.

ScottGem · Mar 18, 2008, 12:10 PM

If they are registered then you can see what they are registered for and choose something they want. For a nephew $25-$50 is appropriate for engagement. If you are also invited to the wedding I'd double that at that time.

BBWfromPhilly · Mar 18, 2008, 01:48 PM

Should you expect gifts and register for them?
You shouldn't expect gifts as etiquette does not dictate that guests should bring them. However, the announcement of an engagement inevitably gets some guests thinking about gifts, and this is a time that they might start asking your family where you are registered. Some of your guests will bring gifts to the party. Therefore it's a good idea to have registered for a few things before sending the invitations. However, as not everyone will bring a gift, don't make the gifts a central part of the party. Put them aside, and open them after the guests have left. Don't forget to send thank you notes.

Throwing an Engagement Party -- Celebrating Your Engagement With Family and Friends

jillianleab · Mar 18, 2008, 07:42 PM

Keep in mind if there is an engagement party, there will also probably be a bridal shower, and then the wedding gift. If you are invited to all three events you'll be shelling out money for three gifts; you should take that under consideration when deciding on a price.

In my opinion $25 or $30 for the engagement and bridal showers, then maybe $50 or $75 for the wedding gift would be appropriate. This of course is dependent on your financial situation too, and what "standard" gift giving in your family is like (I know people who never spend less than $100 for any event). If you are unable to afford such an amount, offer your time to help plan the wedding, there's a lot a bride needs to do, and she might appreciate someone who gets price quotes on DJs, cake people, and chair rental companies more than she would appreciate a spoon rest!