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    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #1

    Mar 16, 2008, 04:36 PM
    Single for 2 years - Ready?
    I've been single for 2 years. I wasn't the best boyfriend and had little self-awareness. Through my 2 years of being single, overall I enjoyed it. I still enjoy being single, however I miss what a relationship has to offer. I also haven't been sexually active. My day consist of sitting on a computer all day downloading music and movies along with self-improvement videos/audios. I'm 20 years old and don't work because I do have social anxiety that I am now listening to a program that I downloaded for. I plan to go back to college in Fall of this year. I don't socialize that much but I do still talk to friends that I had in high school online. My question is, am I capable of dating? The reason why I ask is because I do have social anxiety and in my last relationship I never went to family gatherings, I didn't treat her as good as I should have, and I spend too much time on the computer. In a way I really want to start dating again but I feel inept. I've learned so much by being single and I'm trying my best to improve. In my next relationship I want to be the BEST boyfriend I can possibly be. Should I first worry about improving myself (been trying to do for 2 years) or jump into a relationship? On top of all this I feel insecure about myself which lead to jealousy in the previous relationship. I have a lot of hair all over my body and I feel that will prevent a girl from wanting to be with me. I would just like to hear what you guys think I should do and how to go about this.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #2

    Mar 16, 2008, 04:46 PM
    Hmmm. You don't work and aren't back in school yet. You have time on your hands. Why not find a good counselor (many, especially those through county human services, operate on a sliding scale according to your financial means) and get your act together (the social anxiety and the self-esteem thing) so you can knock the socks off young ladies??

    You write well and express yourself well and sound like a very nice young man and would be welcome at my kitchen table any day. Do you like freshly-baked brownies and cold milk?
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #3

    Mar 16, 2008, 04:50 PM
    Yes mam, sounds good lol.. Well after the breakup I got into counseling and was in it all through 2006&2007. But it was mostly to address other issues (abused as a kid). I think that the programs I have downloaded is enough as much as I stick with it. But still leaves me wanting a relationship but feelings that I can't
    in a state's Avatar
    in a state Posts: 80, Reputation: 12
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    #4

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:01 PM
    You can wait and prepare yourself until college,when you'll meet a lot of girls ;)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #5

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:03 PM
    Well, then. It's time to either go back to that counselor for the social anxiety or find a new set of ears to actively listen to you and to help you regain your sparkle.

    You can have friendships and relationships but you have to stop obsessing on randomguy and to start to put your thoughts on the other.

    What's good about you? What would I like about you?
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #6

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:18 PM
    I'm not judgemenatal, honest, faithful, artistic, open-minded in some ways, patient, I try to be positive.. I don't know lol
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #7

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:20 PM
    Do you like to read? What are some of your favorite topics to talk about?
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #8

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:22 PM
    I like to read on anything that helps me improve. I want to learn about the basics of pretty much anything so I can have an idea on random topics. I want to be open to everything so I can know what people talk about. I love to explorer music and listen to new artist in different genres.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #9

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:26 PM
    Do you know how to dance? Bowl? Cook? Are you up on movies? Do you like to sing? Do you like to collect trivia information as in history or geography or popular culture?

    What kind of girl would be ideal for you?
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #10

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:32 PM
    I'm trying to stay current with movies and music but I'm more focused on learning every classic rock artist first because that is my favorite genre. I would love to learn how to dance, bowl and cook. I can't sing lol. I have a vary large music/movie collection. I want to read on a lot of stuff but I need to focus on self-improvement first. My match would be someone who isn't judgemental, honest, faithful, positive, friendly, patient, forgiving. As you can tell I'm not THAT social so that would be good if I found someone who doesn't care about staying home on fridays ordering a pizza and watching a movie and maybe go out on weekends every now and then. I joined a gym to go along with my improvement process so I can get in shape and decrease stress. I start tommorw. I'm trying to slowly change and become more social. I walked my dog today around (something I wouldn't normally do).
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #11

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:47 PM
    Are you near a populated area? Could you give a couple of hours a week to volunteer somewhere, say, at an animal shelter or a hospital or a library?

    Dogs are supposed to be "chick magnets" or at least people magnets. Tell me about your dog.
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #12

    Mar 16, 2008, 05:52 PM
    I have a female rottweiler. I think I'm going to start walking her around the canal of my city where there are a lot of people. It's a very calm and relaxing place. I also enjoy photography and usually when I go on the canal I take pictures. I'm right downtown of Indianapolis.






    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
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    #13

    Mar 16, 2008, 06:01 PM
    Did you take those? They're awesome!
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #14

    Mar 16, 2008, 06:02 PM
    Yes, thanks :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #15

    Mar 16, 2008, 06:03 PM
    Very, very nice photos! (great composition, balance) I didn't know Indianapolis has a canal! It looks like a beautiful city--and countryside too. Now, where's a picture of your dog?
    randomguy19's Avatar
    randomguy19 Posts: 81, Reputation: 3
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    #16

    Mar 16, 2008, 10:22 PM
    ihatewestseneca's Avatar
    ihatewestseneca Posts: 325, Reputation: 67
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    #17

    Mar 16, 2008, 10:28 PM
    Aww...
    ISneezeFunny's Avatar
    ISneezeFunny Posts: 4,175, Reputation: 821
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    #18

    Mar 16, 2008, 10:36 PM
    That's an awesome dog.

    Women... women... where do you find women..

    Volunteering DEFINITELY helps...

    Take your dog for a walk, go to a local sbucks, get a cup of coffee, go outside to the "patio" (if they have one), open up a book while you have your dog's leash tied to your chair. Guarantee you at least 5 girls will walk up to you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #19

    Mar 17, 2008, 07:30 AM
    I think you should definitely, sort out your issues, and get back to school, and be productive with a job, before you even think of a relationship. Great photos, and there maybe some newspaper, looking for a good photographer. Good Luck.

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