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justanother · Mar 16, 2008, 10:53 AM

Just out of curiousity, I just started NC with my ex cause she has a boyfriend now. I'm on day 5, is it typical for them to have no contact with me either, I go on Yahoo and she's on but never says a word. So again, is it normal for them to make no contact too if you don't make no contact?

jeffatl · Mar 16, 2008, 10:56 AM

Yea, totally normal. It's not like you are the only one that knows about NC, it's how both of you learn to cope with not having eachoter anymore. She has a new boyfirend now after five days? Yipes, you should have no reason to be contacting this girl anymore.

justanother · Mar 16, 2008, 11:04 AM

No we tried the friends thing and it was OK at first then she started telling me she loved me and missed me so I got pulled back in. less than a month later she's telling me she has a boyfriend. So I'm trying something different and doing NC

talaniman · Mar 16, 2008, 11:41 AM

Glad you didn't fall for the "let's be friends" speech.

JBeaucaire · Mar 16, 2008, 12:05 PM

Doesn't matter if it's common with others or not. It's GREAT when you are in agreement on NC and not causing each other pointless pain through meaningless communication.

Be grateful you're both doing NC. In fact, your interest in her behavior makes me think you're not actually glad at all, you wish she still wanted you so your NC would be one-sided, putting you in the upper slot.

Stop that (if it's true... be honest, it would be natural for you to feel this way) and focus on your future. NC means you are moving on, thinking about her in any way is you breaking your own NC and it's almost like starting over every day.

Enjoy your freedom.

justanother · Mar 16, 2008, 12:51 PM

Thanks jbeaucaire, that's actually what it is. I want to be in the upper slot.

raggwell · Mar 16, 2008, 01:05 PM

Erm what is NC?? Sorry

justanother · Mar 16, 2008, 01:08 PM

No contact

SUNKISSED · Mar 16, 2008, 01:21 PM

It Really Depends On Who It Is Ive Been Broke Up With A Guy For 2 Years Now And Yet He Still Contacts Me Like Hes Getting A 3rd Chance
Hope This Helps,
Sunkissed

Fr_Chuck · Mar 16, 2008, 05:03 PM

Ok, the idea of NC is to get over them and move on with your life, checking to see if thy are online and upset that they do not contract you, may be NC but it is not healthy either,
So they found someone, and has started moving on

ihatewestseneca · Mar 16, 2008, 05:59 PM

I used to feel the same way... when the ex and I first broke up we were still talking for 2 weeks after before I started/attempted NC. I was telling her how people are telling me that I shouldn't call her and whatnot, and how stubborn we are... she told me then that that's the reason she wasn't calling me, because she was waiting for me to call and blah blah blah, it doesn't matter anymore. But before she went back to school, I told her that I can't stay in contact with her as it makes it hard for me to get over her, and she cried and was still sticking to the "im not sure why im breaking up with you" thing... whatever.

She broke up with you, she doesn't deserve your time or thoughts. I'm sure she thinks about you, don't doubt that... the fact that she has a new guy already means that you're already in the "upper slot". She took to easy way out... it will take her longer to realize how she contributed to the failing of your relationship, and she won't learn anything about herself to make the next one better. Although some rebounds work out (or so I hear).

Through painful snooping that I've learned to not do anymore I found out that after a month (LD) with her new guy, my ex was "in love" with him, and couldn't wait to get married to him and have his babies... how insane is that.. how immature is that.. this was hard to read, but it helped me realize that my ex is nothing short of possibly retarded.

Its best not to think about what she is thinking man, I know its only been 5 days for you and its probably still real hard... been checking your phone, email, Facebook? You'll stop after a couple weeks. And in a few months you won't even care about what she up to or why she isn't contacting you.

Almost 3 months of NC for me, and I'm doing great... things get better my man, just hang in there. And stick with NC, it does wonders.

kaitou · Mar 16, 2008, 07:00 PM

Yes, it is typical for them to not contact your during no contact.

But it is also very common that people in your position break no contact.

My advice to you is try as hard as you can to stick with no contact, don't break it!

Good luck!

justanother · Mar 16, 2008, 07:54 PM

Thanks, been keeping myself busy. So should I just delete her off my friends list on instant messenger?

friend4u178 · Mar 16, 2008, 08:21 PM

Anything that makes NC easier can't be bad , so delete away.

Homegirl 50 · Mar 16, 2008, 08:45 PM

Originally Posted by justanother

Just out of curiousity, i just started NC with my ex cause she has a bf now. I'm on day 5, is it typical for them to have no contact with me either, i go on yahoo and she's on but never says a word. So again, is it normal for them to make no contact too if you dont make no contact?

If she is in a new relationship, why would she contact you? Stop checking to see what she is doing. It will make it a lot easier for you.