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ReniEuro · Mar 12, 2008, 07:36 PM

I am 17 years old. I dated a guy named Matt for about 3 or 4 months. We have been apart for a while now. My relationship with him, had some good times, but also a lot of really painful times. I am in an excellent relationship right now with another guy. But for some reason I can not stop thinking about Matt. I mean none-stop! I dream about him, I think about him 24/7! Why? How do I stop this? Do you think he might be thinking of me too?

Marriedguy · Mar 12, 2008, 08:27 PM

It's not uncommon for someone to have memories of their ex-boyfriends/girlfriend. This people left a notch in our brains. Locations, smells, or even a word could trigger this memories and you start have dreams. I once walked pass a woman wearing the same perfume as an ex-girlfriend I my heart got heavy and my mind was flooded with her the memories of her. The memories will fade and go back into your sub-conscience. It's a gift and a curse.

ReniEuro · Mar 12, 2008, 08:52 PM

Originally Posted by Marriedguy

It’s not uncommon for someone to have memories of their ex-boyfriends/girlfriend. This people left a notch in our brains. Locations, smells, or even a word could trigger this memories and you start have dreams. I once walked pass a woman wearing the same perfume as an ex-girlfriend I my heart got heavy and my mind was flooded with her the memories of her. The memories will fade and go back into your sub-conscience. It’s a gift and a curse.

But since I'm in such a good relatonship right now, as in this relationship is a million times better then that one was, shouldn't my mind focuse on this one instead of going back to that one always?

Hawk035s · Mar 12, 2008, 08:55 PM

There is obviously a reason he is on your mind, I cannot agree more with the previous comment towards this issue. Whatever you decide you should not put your current boyfriend or guy your dating through the disappointment. If your doing nothing but wanting to be with someone else then you have to do what makes you happy not what other people want you to do.

Marriedguy · Mar 12, 2008, 09:36 PM

The have been trying to study the human brain for hundreds if not thousands of years. Most of the books that I read on the study of Dreams and Memories never give a conclusion on the why and even the how. They have theories no concrete answers.

Cybercheryl · Mar 12, 2008, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by ReniEuro

I am 17 years old. I dated a guy named Matt for about 3 or 4 months. We have been apart for a while now. My relationship with him, had some good times, but also a lot of really painful times. I am in an excellent relationship right now with another guy. But for some reason i can not stop thinking about Matt. I mean none-stop! I dream about him, I think about him 24/7! Why? How do I stop this? Do you think he might be thinking of me too?

If you really want to stop thinking about him, you can. The brain is a marvelous thing. Every time you think of him picture something yucky like being covered in mud or spaghetti sauce and little by little you will stop thinking about him. You left him for a reason so let him go. Concentrate on where you are and how to make it better.

bekii · Mar 13, 2008, 02:50 AM

Originally Posted by ReniEuro

I am 17 years old. I dated a guy named Matt for about 3 or 4 months. We have been apart for a while now. My relationship with him, had some good times, but also a lot of really painful times. I am in an excellent relationship right now with another guy. But for some reason i can not stop thinking about Matt. I mean none-stop! I dream about him, I think about him 24/7! Why? How do I stop this? Do you think he might be thinking of me too?

i think u should just ring matt and tell him how u feel... x

xx

Marriedguy · Mar 13, 2008, 05:50 AM

Bekii how would that help?

JBeaucaire · Mar 13, 2008, 10:13 AM

In our cinema-based picture of what relationships are, there is a LOT of drama. We love the drama. We really do. We crave it subconsciously... sometimes.

So, if what you want is more drama, and you might... sure, call Matt back and enjoy the ride.

Or, recognize a fond memory for what it is, enjoy it, then go back to what you were doing before the memory flooded.

You're only 17, I'd suggest you take a deep breath and relax. You should be dating a lot right now and meeting a LOT of different people and learning what it means to interact with many types of people. Exclusive is fine, but is it totally necessary right now? Only you know for sure, but think about it.

You have a vibrant and energetic mind. Your memories are part of it, so don't fight them. But you are in control of your actions, resist letting your emotions and past memories exert a lot of influence on what you DO today. Be smart about that.