[confused2345]

Hi,
I'm new to this forum. I am hoping I can turn to it for advice on my complicated relationship...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Our relationship has been rocky and he is unsure about our relationship. We both have made our share of mistakes. I am however the dramatic one and he hates that. He doesn't act like we are in a relationship. He doesn't call me as often as I'd like, so I find myself texting him and making the effort. I feel he might be taking me for granted. When he is with me in person, its perfect; but when he's not with me, I hardly exist. He told me that there is no other girl besides me. I have even told him to let me go if he has lost interest, but he isn't willing to do that either. We both aren't willing to get each other go. He told me he wants to work on our relationship, but I don't see it in action. I know I should give him lots of space to think about everything but Its so hard. I love him a lot but I am exteremely confused. I am away from him for 2 months. I feel its an opportune time to make a difference. I have left him alone but Its been a week and I haven't heard from him. It bugs me that he isn't making any effort. What can I do to get him back on the right track? Should I call him? Should I call/text him less so he can make more effort? I just want to be in a normal relationship. Its frustrating and confusing.

Any advice will be very helpful and assuring.

[LifePaparazzi]

Honey, if a man really loves you and needs you, he won't want to be away from you. I'm afraid that you may not like my answer. But girl, its time to end this, move on and find a guy that will appreciate you.

Think about how truly misserable you would be if you got in to a more serious relationship with this guy. A good relationship with a man begins with friendship, trust and care. Love is important. But love changes over time. Think about how much worse it would get when you hit one of those phases where you love each other, but not like you can't be away from one another. Will HIS love be strong enough to carry through.

Given how he is behaving right now, I don't think you could live like that. And you know what? Live is to short to be misserable. Enjoy it while you can. Don't sit at home stewing. Find a man that will make you happy.

[confused2345]

I find it so hard to let him go. We were good friends for few years prior. He finally mustered up the courage to ask me out. Things just went downhill after that because of petty arguments. I'm working on myself but he's confusing me so much. I'm an emotional wreck and I hate it.

[confused2345]

Thanks LifePaparrazi,

Anybody have any input?

[s_cianci]

Actually it sounds like you are in a very "normal" and healthy relationship. Everyone needs time for themselves. He knows that and is doing just that. You need to follow suit. Don't expect him to be constantly available to you, don't be constantly available to him and take time out to do the things you like and enjoy.

[confused2345]

Thank you.

Does this mean not calling/texting him all the time? I am not clingy or anything. I just want a normal relationship; but he's just not there yet. Hes confused and I don't know what to do to help him realize what we have is special. He doesn't call me like he used to. It hurts.

[LifePaparazzi]

Listen, you can't change people. Also, you will fail at trying to make yourself in to someone else. You have to be yourself for a relationship to work. ;)

I also agree with s_cianti about "everyone needs space" But taking off from a relationship for weeks on end is well beyond that.

If you are second and third and fourth guessing your relationship, trust me, its not the right relationship. If I were you, I would end this one and move on to someone that will love you in a way that will make you comfortable. This guy just does not sound like he is that interested in you. You are WORTH much better then that.:eek:

Oh, and don't think you will not find someone else. Honey, I'm fat and ugly, but I found the best man in the world for me, after a 7 year marriage to someone that sounds just like the guy you are talking about. So I can assure you that you will find the right guy for you.:cool:

[olivia rose]

Hi, he might have some personal issues he can't talk about... dose sound just like my boyf, I no some people have said he isn't that into you, do you feel he doesn't love you in his vibes ?
Some guys who really love you are messed up and they can't show there feelings so they do the typical boy thing of shutting you out, some guys just have ways of showing they love you evan when it seems so selfish.

But seriously if its too much like hard work then he's not right for you and never will be cause you deserve appreciation! And that's what you aren't getting xxxxxxxx

[jasmine_rezzag]

Honey,I don't know what to say,but if my boyfriend does not text message or call me for a whole day,I am sure I must be totally down... I can't take that! How come lovers do not contact for a whole week or even longer!if he really loves you,no matter how busy he is or how hard the situation he is facing.. he will think about you and would like to let you know that to make you happy,comfortable and feel safe something like that for your relationship!if he does not care about how you feel,what you do... every day,it is impossible that he loves you! I suggest you just let him go,leave him alone and move on to find a nice guy who always care about you!woman always needs care especially her lover's care...

[talaniman]

For what ever reason, you don't sound like much of a match, and don't work well together, or communicate, and neither of you knows what to do. I now pronounce you a disaster. If you want a normal relationship, then you have to both be willing to build one.

[butterflyforever]

He does not feel the same way I'm sorry... u really just need to move on if he wants you he knows where you are but then again why would you want him back... he didn't care then.. why will he now.. it takes two to tango. I don't think he's going to contact you but if he does... think really hard cause this prob is headed down a bad path.

[tiredoflies7]

it sounds to me like his done with you. find someone else. There's plenty of fish in the sea.