[whittrs20]

I have been dating him for four months. I love him, I am 97% sure he loves me, but he has never once said the three most wonderful words "I love you". I see him everysingle day and talk to him for at least an hour a day over the phone. No I am not the only one to inniciate the talking, he starts it also. But I am wondering why he hasn't said those words. He has said things like, "you wouldn't hurt me, you love me to much" and "someday we will have our own property" (for our horses, he has one and I own two.) I think and hope he wants to say it. He is 23 and I am 20, So any ideas on making this little issue easier for him, like maybe I could do something to let him know that I would respond to that statement in the best way! I can't figure anything out, all would be appreciated!

[JBeaucaire]

Most men are visual. Most women are relational. There is a complete disconnect on how you get things done, get stimulated, and get results.

Someday he will learn to speak your language, at which point he will say things like "I love you" even though that doesn't feel like it accomplishes anything. You know it does and he'll figure that out.

Until then, if you want to understand him, you have to learn to speak HIS language. A man is what he DOES. He says "I love you" with his actions.

Is he attentive? Does he go out of his way to provide things he knows you appreciate? Does he sacrifice time to accompany you to things you know he doesn't really like because YOU do? These are the more common ways a man demonstrates his feelings.

The words will come later, for now, watch what he DOES and listen to that. You should hear him loud and clear... but only if you're listening that way.

[Suelle383]

I was with my boyfriend for almost a year before he said he loved me. It drove me crazy!! Like JBeaucaire said, the whole time he was showing me that he did by his actions (being attentive, listening to my problems, complimenting me, taking care of me when he was sick, etc.) But never said those 3 words. Then one day, finally I said, "Look I love you, I don't know why you don't love me or why you haven't said it, but I do and if you don't I can't continue". Well, he broke down, almost in tears, and said "I've wanted to tell you in a million times, I've almost said it a million times, I just didn't know how to say it or I was afraid of saying it out loud and acknowledging, yes this is real". So, I don't recommend you flip out and say "I love you if you don't love me we should break up", but my point it is, guys aren't always great with communicating or talking about their feelings. Look at his actions. Do his actions say he loves you? If so, then just relax. Its only been 4 months, he'll come around with the words when he's ready and comfortable.

[ISneezeFunny]

I was THAT guy who dropped the L-word 2 months into the relationship... in my first serious relationship in high school. That ended badly.

So... from that experience, I learned NOT to say the L-word.

I told my most recent ex that I loved her... I think... 2 years into it. Luckily for me, she knew I loved her via my actions... but yeah. I just have a rough time saying it. Not sure why,

[KD33]

I see what you mean, he has not said it yet and you want him to. Have you ever watched good luck chuck? Cause it's an awesome movie and it explains the exact thing going on. Even as a kid this boy never said he loved any of his girlfriends. He never said it to anyone when he was grown up either. But then he met this girl and after a long time of knowing her he finally told he loved her. I think your man knows that relationships rarely last forever, but he is prepared for the worst always and although he doesent know it he is ruining the relationship between you two because he is saving those words for the right one and he wants to be sure you're the right one before telling you that. He definitely has feelings for you, especially if he is planning ahead to find space in the same house for you both. Just kind of let him know that he means a lot to you and that you wish he would show the affection you both know you deserve.

[ISneezeFunny]

Also, you're wanting him to tell you he loves you at 4 months?. that's a bit early isn't it? I'm not so sure I love anyone until I pass... 6 months. At least. 8 - 10 months to be on the safe side...

[whyohwhy]

I agree. I don't fall in love easily, but when I do... I fall hard. Give it time. Four months may not be enough for him. I have to get through all of the holidays to know someone well enough to know that I am in love.