[Ash123]

Here's a true story. Please add your own story as you see fit. May make somneone else smile from our awkward "intimate" moments (wherever they may happen)


This is evidence that awkward intimate moments don't always require another person around....

A friend who is a realtor took me to see an open-house last weekend as an easy way to catch up....

It was a grand house with a view across the mountains and a few artistic statues about. Seemed like a nice spot. Pleasant spot.

Well, she told me to take a look around the expansive ground floor - and, as she greeted an older couple to the open house, I decided to explore. It's not every day I wander around in someone else's house, but that was the point.


The first stop was the bedroom. It was nice enough. There were photos of the wife on the wall...a bit too many perhaps, as it was almost like a shrine, but the room had a nice view as well. As I wandered by the bed I saw the bedside table was ajar. For some reason I looked in. And I saw what looked like decent sized vibrator.

Well, now I knew I was in over my head - and should not be wandering in their house - and closed the drawer as a response.
Clearly, this open house was better spent chatting in the foyer!

But... The next thing I knew there was a loud vibration in the drawer. Loud enough that I wondered if the old couple could hear it now. I froze --
And then reluctantly opened the door to switch it off and realized it was not the vibrator I saw. In fact, it was not visible at all.

Now I could hear the old couple in the hall and I had to decide what to do. Try to find the culprit? Or close the door and let them discover it?
Or even better - maybe not hear it at all? But that was unlikely: it sounded like a weedeater was sheering shrubs in the room now!

I chose to try to fix this problem. I removed the book from atop the bulk of things in the drawer and realized I was looking at the most densely packed sex chest on planet earth.

Dildos, double dildos, butt plugs, 1 and 2 foot soft dildos. Metal vibrators, hand vibrators... dozens of lubes and jellys, it was overwhelming... Still, I could not find the source of the loud vibration.

The old couple was now commenting on the nice pine floors in the hallway and closing in!

I grabbed a...handful...of giant soft dildos and parted the pile....still nothing. I pushed aside plastic toys, furry toys, glowing toys, whips, chains...but, still....nothing.

now i had vibrators and whale-sized dildos in my hands and no sign of the source. I turned a few to see if it was them, but no cessation of the cacophonous rattling....

Finally, I found a smaller vibrator. A modest sized clear pink device, but I could not turn it off!

Now I was done for... the house hunters were now about to find a guy with two-handfuls off sex devices alone in a bedroom and no explanation.

I found the vibrator was connected to a cord and as I pulled on it, it went on and on and on... and on... I was pulling on it for what seemed like hours. Then I found the answer: in the "master controls" it was connected to - it was no less than a dozen buttons to choose from: vibrate/slow/fast twist/fast/slow grind... fast/slow... I was running out of time.. I hit each button until I found the OFF - (the only command not marked by the way... )

I exhaled.

And closed the drawer.

But, as I did... it turned on AGAIN! (well engineered little sucker! ).

I moved the book.

I turned off the "motherboard" again.

The old couple walked in.

I commented on "the nice layout of the room and the way it caught the afternoon sun..."
And how relaxing (ahem) it was...

Then I exited. It was all theirs. I was sticking to the kitchen!

Moral: If you make your bed, lie in it - just make sure it's yours to begin with!

Hope some levity finds your more intimate moments... :)

Peace

A

[KalFour]

Oh god... that's awful! :D

[Ash123]

If I had been a few seconds slower, it would have been an even more
Memorable house tour!

[friend4u178]

LMAO... thats hilarious Ash , I almost wish you got caught so I could hear the rest of the story :-)

[Ash123]

The worst experiences make the best stories as my g-father used to say.

But if they had walked in with me clutching a handful of black king kong flopping dildos
I am not sure anyone would have recovered...

"hello...911?!!"

[smoothy]

Damn that was a funny one... I have to send that to my wife...

[Ash123]

Yeah, if you're selling you're house - close those special drawers tight

[Chery]

Ash darling, you are just so full of innovative inspiration. Don't ever change.

[britster]

Lol this story was so funny what would u have said if they walked in haha I could only imagine

[starlite1]

LOL! That was great!! Oh Man!

[lthm]

I REALLY REALLY REALLY hope you washed your hands after that :[

[Ash123]

Many times... :-)

[kcwclf]

Oh My!

[carlson92]

Awesome story man. Haha.

[Ash123]

Glad you enjoyed... We all need a laugh on here. I think I just stopped sweating from it all...