[imatoolfan]

Hello all. I need advice. My wife and I are separating and we are trying our best to make the process as smooth as possible. We have split joint bills evenly so we don't have to pay each other anything. She claims she doesn't want child support, but has a boyfriend going through a divorce that is getting taken to the cleaners. I'm afraid he'll be chirping in her ear about child support and she'll try to get some from me. We make about the same and have mutally decided to have equal/joint custody and share any unexpected costs. I have her and my son covered under my benefits and don't charge her for this. If she took me to court, would I be able to get joint custody and not pay child support? My son is a daddy's boy and I doubt she'd ever try to get full custody, but I am getting nervous. Any thoughts?.

[fredg]

Hi, imatoolfan,
First, I went through a divorce many years ago, after 7 yrs of marriage. Been married now (second time) for 28 yrs to a wonderful lady, who went through a divorce about a year before I did. We both had the same experiences with our divorces.
Now, You NEED a lawyer. And, don't use one your wife might get. You did not mention a lawyer in your question, so I am assuming you don't have one yet.
Anyone who appears in Court, representing themselves, is expected to know all the "Court Rules", what to do, how to present it, etc. Courts and Hearings are set up for lawyers. That will be one "blow" against you.
Another thing against you for not having a lawyer:
Things change with time; meaning she might not want child support now, but what about in 2 yrs? Are you sure the Judge isn't going to award her child support now, without you having a lawyer? You will be taken a hugh chance on the Judge.
You need Separation Papers drawn up, by a lawyer. Separation and Divorce usually isn't "smooth"; if it is, it's a rare case, especially where children are involved.
I am sure you will get more answers, and I do wish you the best.

[Fr_Chuck]

Hello all. I need advice. My wife and I are seperating and we are trying our best to make the process as smooth as possible. We have split joint bills evenly so we don't have to pay each other anything. She claims she doesn't want child support, but has a boyfriend going through a divorce that is getting taken to the cleaners. I'm afraid he'll be chirping in her ear about child support and she'll try to get some from me. We make about the same and have mutally decided to have equal/joint custody and share any unexpected costs. I have her and my son covered under my benifits and don't charge her for this. If she took me to court, would I be able to get joint custody and not pay child support? My son is a daddy's boy and I doubt she'd ever try to get full custody, but I am getting nervous. Any thoughts?....

Yes joint custody and no support is done often esp when and if both parties work together well. ( but it seldom works for long)

And she can take you back ( or you take her back) to court anytime between now and the end of the child custody ruling. You will have to take your agreement on custody to a judge and have it made official anyway.

But next year, two years or 10 years from now unless the children are grown, both of you can file for changes in the custody agreement.
Some times you will spend time in court every year over some disagreement till they are 18, I had a friend like that.

So basically if you both agree, you both get one lawyer, get an agreement all made up and have it oked by the court

[imatoolfan]

Thank you for the response. We both agree and neither of us has a lawyor. We have talked about a paralegal processing the paperwork... is this possible? Thanks again.