[hjpan]

yeah she doesn't want to open up and be honest with you
She must also be insecure and unsure of her self.
So she may be afraid of even being in a relationship at all with anybody.

Hmmm... what can I do to slowly make her feel eased and open up ;___;?:confused:

[hjpan]

Effing

My ex is like "oh.. whatever~"

I even asked her "what if I was in the military and didn't come back?"
She said she'll just be sad.

Then asked "what if I did something heroic in the war that cost my life, but earned the one of the high medal a soldier can earn?"
She said "I still won't regret what I did. I'll just feel sad. Why? You want me to throw a parade?"

Effe...

I'm going to need time.

[s_cianci]

She's probably trying to let you down easy. Based on what you said I'd seriously rethink enlisting in the army as I don't think you're doing it for the right reasons. Enlisting for the wrong reasons won't solve your personal problems and won't get back at her. When it comes to young people and relationships, life can be, as you say, "so much crap." That's why I always discourage serious dating until one is ready to get married. A lot of people may think of me as an old "fuddy-duddy" but I've seen all too often the kind of emotional damage that young people do to themselves when they jump into the whole dating/relationship scene prematurely. And quite often the damage is permanent and impacts them when they finally do get married, thereby requiring the spouse to carry that baggage which places further strain on the marriage. It becomes an ever-growing and never-ending cycle. Right now your focus should be on you. You can date and have fun but nothing serious. Work on yourself and pursue your own interests. If that includes enlisting in the army then that's fine, but not as an escape hatch.

[kp2171]

Well...

Mixed feelings here buddy. Like I've said... its no consolation to you, but most of us have been where you are "standing"... you're in a relationship that seems to be going well enough, you're moving along just fine, then you look down one day and she's gone and you're standing in proverbial "relationship dogcrap"... and its ugly, messy, you didn't see it coming, and you just can't get rid of it that easy. But you can get through it. Most of us have. Me... I've had to do it probably 3 times. Sucks.

So the good news, believe it or not, is you can get through it. Its no fun. But you can.

Stop with the emotional guilt trips concerning going to war. I applaud your efforts to serve, but don't try to use your service as a mean of keeping her close. Its just not going to work. Serve for a lot of reasons, but not to "make" her stay with you or guilt her into acting differently. Doesn't work like that. Seriously... stop using "what if i didnt come back" scenarios.

[hjpan]

She's probably trying to let you down easy. Based on what you said I'd seriously rethink enlisting in the army as I don't think you're doing it for the right reasons. Enlisting for the wrong reasons won't solve your personal problems and won't get back at her. When it comes to young people and relationships, life can be, as you say, "so much crap." That's why I always discourage serious dating until one is ready to get married. A lot of people may think of me as an old "fuddy-duddy" but I've seen all too often the kind of emotional damage that young people do to themselves when they jump into the whole dating/relationship scene prematurely. And quite often the damage is permanent and impacts them when they finally do get married, thereby requiring the spouse to carry that baggage which places further strain on the marriage. It becomes an ever-growing and never-ending cycle. Right now your focus should be on you. You can date and have fun but nothing serious. Work on yourself and pursue your own interests. If that includes enlisting in the army then that's fine, but not as an escape hatch.

Thank you~

I'm not doing it to get back at her, but for a certain career. Although, I have thought about enlisting to show her that I will change to the person I was not before. Stronger, courageous, selfless service etc.
Finding a job is very hard, even for undergrad. Students. I've looked at enlisting for a while because it'll pay my tuition off, I'll work one weekend/month, get paid etc. It's not all about the money actually; I want to know my strengths, weaknesses, stamina, and ability to overcome obstacle courses either mentally of physically.

I do not want to date anyone for my undergrad years anymore. It's too time-consuming and if I get in grad school, that'll be great.



Another reason why I'm enlisting is because I'm willing to sacrifice myself for someone else. It's not really "suicide", but as a way of saying "hey, you should go home. I'll stay."

[hjpan]

well...

mixed feelings here buddy. like ive said... its no consolation to you, but most of us have been where you are "standing"... youre in a relationship that seems to be going well enough, youre moving along just fine, then you look down one day and shes gone and youre standing in proverbial "relationship dogcrap"... and its ugly, messy, you didnt see it coming, and you just can't get rid of it that easy. but you can get through it. most of us have. me... ive had to do it probably 3 times. sucks.

so the good news, believe it or not, is you can get through it. its no fun. but you can.

stop with the emotional guilt trips concerning going to war. i applaud your efforts to serve, but dont try to use your service as a mean of keeping her close. its just not going to work. serve for a lot of reasons, but not to "make" her stay with you or guilt her into acting differently. doesnt work like that. seriously... stop using "what if i didnt come back" scenarios.

I'm trying to overcome this, but it's hard as a sequoia tree.

This summer, I'm planning to visit her & get my stuff back at all costs. It's not worth giving my childhood pics to some...

*sigh*

[hjpan]

Anyone else?


I talked to a friend of mine and he said that my ex might be having difficulties with her parents (maybe her dad) so she acts anti-male figure right now. Another reason, he says, is probably that she is unsure of what she wants for sure. She probably has feelings for me, but just want to take a break in the relationship.

I do not know for a fact >_>
It's depressing for me... *sigh*

[jomod06]

Dear Sir:
If you would like to send me an e-mail, I can fix your financial problems, as I am a Certified Financial Planner.and maybe, we can both go to the Ukraine to find a wife.
If you have a job, I will teach you how to budget and to save money. Do not give up your life for, and in the Iraqian fiasco.
Jomod06
Truthfully Always.
YRY./.
Prime stock awaits you in the Ukraine and or Moldova. I will not charge you for my services. Forget the "American Tart" Goodness and Sweetness awaits. Your out of pocket finances will be between $1.000.00c-$1,500.00c. For air-fare, hotel or apartment and food. That is much cheaper than the "Ugly American Woman".