[ampersandra]

To start with something general, what's your favourite position and why?

Would you prefer more grinding motions or an up-down motion? And what does each feel like to you?

A couple of my less experienced friends said that their boyfriends felt pain. For one of them, it was the first time for both. For the other, only the female was a virgin. Is this normal? I've personally never had previous lovers complaining about pain, even when I lost my virginity.

[smoothy]

For me its cowgirl position, and number two the reverse cowgirl. My hands are free for helping her along and she can make whatever adjustment she needs so there is no cervix poking and resulting pain.

What works best for someone else will be different in some cases. Differences in size between partners as well as differences between weight will make some better than others.

Best I can say is pick up a book on positions, try them all and see what works best for you and your partner.

[KISS]

Pain is possible for both. If the penis bends for whatever reason it hurts.

If the women is tight or the hymen isn't broken it may hurt both.

But it's usually temporary.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

I thought tightness felt good?

[ampersandra]

Hahaha... tightness feels good to a certain extent. No one wants something squeezing ANY part of their body too tightly. But about the penis-bending, uhh... how?

That's why I was asking about the griding vs. up-down motion. With grinding, aren't you kind of "bending" it? Also, no one's answered the question about what either motion feels like for the man. Please do?

[ISneezeFunny]

I personally like the standing position. Man stands, woman wraps legs around guy's hips. You get the picture.

[bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE]

... I'm getting all hot over here...

[KISS]

The penis can bend, for instance if it slips out and hits another part of the women's body. It can bend if the vagina is TOO tight like with a virgin.

[smoothy]

The penis can bend, for instance if it slips out and hits another part of the womens body. It can bend if the vagina is TOO tight like with a virgin.

Virgin does not = tight. Nor does skinny equal tight.

I've dated a mother of 4 that was one of the tightest I've known.

[KISS]

smoothy:

I agree with you, but I wasn't clear. What I probably should have said is that there is a higher popensity for a virgin to be tight. The top got me side tracked. Lack of lubercation might be another. Use of Kegels yet another.

Thanks for clarifying.

[ampersandra]

Seems like lack of lubrication is the most probable cause, from what my friends told me. Thanks. From there, it should be easier to tell them about foreplay.

Still, I'm waiting for an answer: What difference in feeling is there for the man between grinding and an up-down/pumping motion?

[KISS]

Define grinding from your point of view.

What is up-down/pumping motion?

There is cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, Asian cowgirl, doggie, missionary to name a few.

There are some other odd positions that come to mind:
1) where man stands and holds girl and moves her up and down.
2) Laying side by side facing one another

Just not sure where to put grinding, up-down and pumping.

[ampersandra]

Generally, any position where the girl is on top. I'm not too sure on how to further elaborate since I REALLY don't know the difference from a male perspective. Sorry.

Up-down/pumping = moving hips up and down
Grinding = more of a boat-rowing motion, i.e. the penis would be moving at different angles constantly

Btw, what's an asian cowgirl? (Jeez, I must sound like a teen right now... )

[KISS]

Asian cowgirl: girl squatting, facing male

[KISS]

Does that mean?

Grinding includes Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and Asian cowgirl

And up/down pumping includes

Missionary and doggie

And might be better described as the male thrusting?

This seems to boil down to positions where the female has most of the control (grinding) or the male has most of the control (thrusting/up-down pumping).

True?

[kp2171]

My fav for getting me off, without regard for her... woman on top, mount as reverse cowgirl, then she lays back, her back to my chest, her arse to my hips.

Girl does little work. My legs outside hers. I move her up and down, toward the head and foot of the bed. Pressure points are perfect, as her weight pressures at my pelvis.

I can grab her breasts with her back arched, wrap my hands around her neck, I can bite at her ears or neck, turn her head so she can nibble at my ears. She can self stim her cl!t to get off while I move my legs wide and then closed in to squeeze her arse, tightening the "grip" on my member.

It's a fun position for me. Only good for her if I can hit her g spot and she can self stim to orgasm in a position that is akward for her...

But you didn't ask for position that would best get my partner off... it was all about me, right?

[simoneaugie]

Guys. You like in and out, that's pumping. Asian cowgirl is up and down and guys love it.

Women (yeah, me) seem to prefer rowing or grinding motions which rub the clitoris against the guy, or allow angle and pressure changes/control and self-stimulation.

One of my favorites is backwards cowgirl, lying down with girl's legs on the outside. Hands are free and the amount of pumping and the angle is controlled by the woman.

My cats do the 'guy thing' at the door, in out, repeat.

Many of the questions were not answered very well. That is probably because analyzing the process diverts too much blood to the smaller head and the guy can't write. LOL

[kp2171]

Many of the questions were not answered very well. That is probably because analyzing the process diverts too much blood to the smaller head and the guy can't write. LOL

=) at first read, I was a little offended... on second, you were right. Most, including me, stated positions but not much else concerning the OP. oops. Good call.

in and out, as opposed to a back and forth rowing motion, can stimulate the man by pulling foreskin foreword and back, stimulating the glans, as well as tightening the skin about the scrotum and moving the "guys" around, which is stimulating. So left to their own devices, and without concern to the woman's needs, in and out often is chosen, especially when a young guy is just starting.

a man self stimulates by pulling and pushing the foreskin up and down the shaft, so no surprise that it's a favored motion in intercourse.

that's not to say a rowing motion isn't pleasurable. It can hit pressure points in the groin that get push him over the top. And the glans still gets some friction while moving inside the woman.

I don't know about the pain you are talking about... while it can hurt a little if the man is hard and you push his unit downward too far, that's not a common angle... so don't know what the pain thing is about outside of poor lubrication or wear and tear on his skin...

[ampersandra]

This seems to boil down to positions where the female has most of the control (grinding) or the male has most of the control (thrusting/up-down pumping).

True?

Pretty much the best way of saying it, I guess. I'm looking to see what the male perspective is on both of those motions, in a very general sense, regardless of the specific position the couple is in.

in and out, as opposed to a back and forth rowing motion, can stimulate the man by pulling foreskin foreward and back, stimulating the glans, as well as tightening the skin about the scrotum and moving the "guys" around, which is stimulating. so left to their own devices, and without concern to the womans needs, in and out often is chosen, especially when a young guy is just starting out.

a man self stimulates by pulling and pushing the foreskin up and down the shaft, so no surprise that its a favored motion in intercourse.

thats not to say a rowing motion isnt pleasurable. it can hit pressure points in the groin that get push him over the top. and the glans still gets some friction while moving inside the woman.

Whoa! Thanks for the detailed answer. But I wonder if any of you men who are circumcised can give some insight? Would it be more/less stimulating without the foreskin during an up-down motion? Out of some strange coincidence, I've never been with someone who isn't.

i dont know about the pain you are talking about... while it can hurt a little if the man is hard and you push his unit downward too far, thats not a common angle... so dont know what the pain thing is about outside of poor lubrication or wear and tear on his skin...

To be honest, my friends haven't been able to explain in detail (they got a bit red-faced). For the one where only my friend was a virgin but not her partner, I know that their first time was in a gym closet or something, so the *ahem* unusual furniture may have affected angle.

[kp2171]

A circumcised man still experiences movement of the skin up and down the shaft.. it might not go over the glans, but its still a sensation that's felt, circumcised or not.