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unicorns · Jan 29, 2006, 12:01 AM

I posted this question in the wrong spot so here it goes again. This is my first time on this site. My question is about Pornography. I am dating a man who looked at magazines and watched movies about 15 years ago when he was in the Navy. He says he did it maybe once a month and hasn't done it in at least 10 years. He says he is still tempted at times but is able to push it away quickly. I would like to know if I should be concerned about something that he did 15 years ago and when you know if it is a problem and treatment is needed.

Thanks
Unicorns

momincali · Jan 29, 2006, 12:13 AM

Hi and welcome to this site. Have you been to his home and if you have, have you seen it laying around anywhere? Unless you have, I don't think your man friend needs psychological help. 15 years is a long time and during R&R time in the Navy, I can't imagine there would be much else to do in the sense of manly satisfaction kind of thing... That the temptation is there I think is normal, it's whether he can and will control himself that's important. Speaking of important, is this someone who you think may have the potential of becoming Mr. Unicorns?? If so, you need to stress to him that pornography is just not something you're willing to tolerate. Just be really upfront about the whole thing. Now, if he's just a casual date, got nothing better to do kind of person in your life, then don't worry about it.

nwsflash · Jan 29, 2006, 09:02 AM

If this is something from 15 years ago then as long as you can tell its not going on still, I feel that you have nothing to worry about. He must have been open to make you aware that he used to use these kind of things to get his kicks when he was much younger.

He has grown a lot from 15 years ago and what people did yesterday does not mean they are still doing it today. Why don't you have a good long talk with him about it and lay your cards out on the table so you both know were your coming from. I would also be honist and talk to him about the porn issue.

It never hurts to talk, because you will both get to know what and where your going.

I hope all things work out OK for you.

unicorns · Jan 29, 2006, 10:21 AM

Thank you for your reply. Yes our relationship is serious and there is the potential for marriage. I have checked his apartment out and have not found anything. I trust him completely I was just concerned because my brother is making an issue out of it and I wanted another opinion. Thanks again

Unicorns

unicorns · Jan 29, 2006, 10:24 AM

Thank you nwsflash for your response to my question. Yes he has grown and changed a lot. I have a lot of faith in him and will continue to support him.

Thanks Unicorns

fredg · Jan 29, 2006, 10:29 AM

Hi, Unicorns,
Thanks for posting a question here, and welcome to this site. You have received some very good answers.
I would only like to add that we probably have all done something in our past that we are "not proud of", and have since decided not to do certain things again.
It took me awhile in my 28 yrs of marriage to understand many things like that.
If you trust your man, and he trusts you, that's all that matters. I do wish you and he the very best.

nwsflash · Jan 29, 2006, 12:48 PM

Originally Posted by unicorns

Thank you nwsflash for your response to my question. Yes he has grown and changed alot. I have alot of faith in him and will continue to support him.

Thanks Unicorns

Your more than welcome, I hope that things do go well for you both :) Sounds like your both very close.

PrettyLady · Jan 30, 2006, 12:58 AM

Unicorns, many people occasionally look at adult movies and magazines. You shouldn't worry if your boyfriend looks at pornography was in a while, most red blooded men do it. If he was addicted to pornography, then it would be a problem. But I don't think there's anything wrong with him. However, if it bothers you, try speaking with him regarding this matter.