[mrah]

I know there are a lot of posts out there on this suject but I haven't found one with my specific question.

I was raped an sexually abused. Does this have anything to do with why I can't get off? Will I ever be able to orgasm?

[jennyrene]

I hope you will. I assume you have studied on it and tried different positions. You can talk to your doctor if you haven't yet.it could possibly be deeper, I'm mean an emotional problem that has occurred due to the past. Maybe counseling would help you. I would at least try, your missing out.

[Synnen]

Have you spoken to a counselor about your rape and sexual abuse?

I am nearly positive that your inhibition is linked to that.

I really recommend seeing your doctor about it and seeing what she recommends you do. Believe me, your doctor has heard it before, and probably has some great resources for you.

[kp2171]

True sexual release is tied to both physical and emotional response.

As the husband of a woman who was sexually abused as a young teen (and her brother was as well) I can tell you that you need to find some balance...

You need to be able to let go enough to experience the physical sensations for all their pleasure, and you need to be able to release your mind to allow yourself to experience the pleasure.

First... id ask can you self stimulate yourself to orgasm? If you haven't tried, why not? Self exploration allows you to understand what you need to reach orgasm, and my experience is that a woman needs to work much harder than a man for sexual satisfaction.

Second, if you mentally cannot lose yourself in the moment, its just not going to happen. There are times when I'm going down on my partner... doing all the things I know she loves.. . and I look up and see the "hmmm... what should i wear to work" face...

That means she isn't in the moment... and there isn't anything I can do to make it work.

So... if you feel like your past is hindering your present, you need to talk it out.

Sex is complicated enough even when all is "perfect"... we have a great ability to get in our own way.

As the lover of a woman who was brutally raped, I can tell you that there is life after the event... even without therapy... but sometimes you need some help.

Please, don't be afraid to talk to someone about this.

It isn't about a weakness on your part.

It is about the strength you have to demand better for yourself.

I wish you the best this world has to offer. Step up and stand strong.

[Xrayman]

Every post above has good content I concur, you need to maybe get some counselling-this may be your "real" problem. Sexual response is definitely linked to emotions so if you are emotionally broken, then this needs work first-then you may need to spend some real time to pamper youself-sexually-enjoy your body, then move onto partnered sexual situations.

[mrah]

Yeah I just started to go to therapy again, I think it will help this time. And I don't like to masturbate, it doesn't feel good or comfortable. Thanks for the advice though, its solid.