[SweetDee]

Did you say that you had unprotected sex and might be pregnant? Then you stated later that you are here to tell all teens not to have unprotected sex... hmmm, OK then.

Well the message is a good one. Having unprotected sex is stupid. You just need to be on contraception like birth control and then you have no worries. Just be prepared. If you think you want to have sex, get of b.c.'s. OR carry condoms... it's not just the dudes job to make sure you are "equipped", after all it's your body he's using atm. Hopefully he'll still love you after he's through.

Girls have sex for different reasons than boys. Girl do it for love... boys do not. Boys do it for sex. Sex feels good... and boys are horny little bastards... with one thing on their minds. If you do decide to go through w/ having sex as a teen, just do it for selfish reasons and don't be blind... anything can happen once it's over. You may not always like the results. Try to be a new teen... like 13-14.. because that's gross!

[Alty]

Did you say that you had unprotected sex and might be pregnant? Then you stated later that you are here to tell all teens not to have unprotected sex...hmmm, ok then.
Well the message is a good one. Having unprotected sex is stupid. You just need to be on contraception like birth control and then you have no worries. Just be prepared. If you think you want to have sex, get of b.c.'s. OR carry condoms...it's not just the dudes job to make sure you are "equipped", after all it's your body he's using atm. Hopefully he'll still love you after he's through.

Girls have sex for different reasons than boys. Girl do it for love...boys do not. Boys do it for sex. Sex feels good...and boys are horny little bastards...with one thing on their minds. If you do decide to go through w/ having sex as a teen, just do it for selfish reasons and don't be blind...anything can happen once it's over. You may not always like the results. Try to be a new teen...like 13-14..cuz that's gross!

SweetDee, did you even read her post? She is a virgin and plans to keep it that way. She's had nightmares about being pregnant, she isn't pregnant, no chance of that.

My suggestion SweetDee, read before you respond.

Also, calling all boys "horny little bastards" well, that's insulting. Not all boys are only after one thing, in fact, I've met allot of young men on this site and in person that are waiting for love, so please, don't lump everyone into one group.

New teen? What?

This whole post made me cringe. :(

[bubbletea123]

SweetDee, you clearly did not read my post well. I don't get what you meant by "try to be a new teen".

[Alty]

Bubbletea, I don't understand that part either.

I think that you are doing just fine, and that waiting is a great idea. Too many teens nowadays don't respect the step to become sexually active, they don't understand the consequences, they treat it like a game. Well, if it is a game, it's russian roullette, and that's a very dangerous game indeed.

Keep doing what you're doing, because you're on the right track. :)

[Myth]

I know I'm a bit late on this thread but I just feel the need to post anyway...

I don't think the epidemic is based in schools or parental failure but the failure of society in general. We are all a product of our societies. Even if a teen goes to church every week and does their bible study there is still a very high risk that that teen, be it a girl or boy, have sex because in a lot of religions they teach you that god will forgive all your sins if you just ask. While I believe he will it's not an excuse or permission if you will for them to go out and have sex. Now as far as the parents go, typically in a two parent family with both working parents they don't have the time to have a stay at home parent and honestly with the economy the way it is who?? Can afford it? The schools teaching the kids sex ed. That really doesn't work either. I knew more about sex by the time they started teaching it than the older woman teaching the subject. There is a failure here and it's the failure of society and can't be blamed on any one person or group. While yes we learn good morals from our parents we also learn bad. I remember the mention of the 80's decade as being the decade where we see the most change. I think I know the reason for that. The children of that era had to grow up fast. They for the most part raised their parents. From my own personal experience I raised not only my siblings but my mother as well. As for a father figure... pick on. My mother was very heavily into drugs and brought home many men. I grew up quiet quickly... too quickly. I started having sex by the time I was 11. Not something I'm proud of but something that happened for a reason. Honestly I think that this reason is why this epidemic is hitting us now... I didn't feel loved... Yes, this is from my 11yr old memory. There was never anyone their to hear that I needed a hug... Never anyone there to be my shoulder when I had my heart broken... I turned sex into that love that I was missing. I was one of the lucky ones. I didn't get pregnant till I was 18. Now let me put this in perspective... We have at least one parent if not two working and busy with that. We have the horrible t.v. programming that our children are bombarded with. We have the larger classes and the less one on one time in the schools and all the budget cuts and the class cuts... Where are our children supposed to go for answers.. Church, yes they could... but then their *no offense here* is even the failure of our most trusted church leaders that have been lead astray... So where do the kids go? To each other, to the net... where with the wealth of information, most of it is wrong. So what do we do then? We start at home. We start from scratch. I didn't have a great example of parenthood growing up so I'm starting over... My mistakes are what my children will learn from. We have all failed. It's time to stop blaming others and look to the future... What can we change? How can we educate? How can we provide that shoulder that most don't have? These are just my thoughts and opinions... I'm sorry if I've offended anyone but I just couldn't sit here and read the accusations and not speak up. I hope for the sake of our children and grandchildren that we find a way to make some changes. As for me... I'm starting from scratch... I'm starting at home.

[Pringles407]

We could do a couple of things to stop the teen birth rate.

1. Go back to the old ways that you MARRIED when you knocked someone up/got knocked up, and you STAYED married, til death. Period. When people realize that they don't get the option of walking away from the other person if it "doesn't work out" and that your "happiness" has NOTHING to do with raising a kid, providing for the child is the most important thing--well, that's a pretty big incentive to keep your pants zipped.

2. Mandatory birth control, both male and female, starting at age 10, and proceding until you can pass a test proving you'd be able to provide for a child AND would be a decent parent.

3. Get rid of all Welfare programs. If you had the choice of watching your child starve or choosing adoption--well, a whole bunch of "poor, infertile couples who desperately want to raise a baby" would get that chance.

Are you kidding me? Seriously?. Go back to the old ways that you MARRIED when you knocked someone up/got knocked up, and you STAYED married, until death? I got pregnant at seventeen, and the boy that got me pregnant was my entire life for three years prior to the conception of my baby. If I had married him, my child would end up with a horrible life. There is no reason to get married that young. If you're in love with the person than you can wait until you're at least 18. Finding out I was pregnant was the best thing that ever happened to me. I realized that my boyfriend at the time was complete scum and that if I stayed with him, my child and I would have to suffer for the rest of our lives. She would have grown up watching us fight constantly, never ever happy. Is that really how you think kids should be brought up?

And getting rid of welfare programs is completely unfair to the unfortunate mothers who had jobs but were let go and end up being poor. Are you trying to say that lower class people should not have the luxury of having families? Are you trying to tell me that you think anyone who can't afford a family should wither and die alone? You are ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, I completely agree that too many teens are getting pregnant. I think SOMETHING should be done to stop this. But, I think that everything YOU said, It completely moronic. Sorry.

[Bural21]

I'm 17 and a senior in high school, a tiny tiny high school... the high school in the town over has over 20 pregnant, or already given birth girls (the ratio is something like 1:35). And my school has had 4 (the ratio is something like 1:75). It's disgusting, the amount of girls getting pregnant at such a young age. I just don't get it. They make condoms and pills, why aren't they using them more? And, I wish that our school would allow the sex education teachers to teach about birth control, we all can't be abstinent, as much as people wish for it to be that way.

[Alty]

Bural, you do realize that even birth control isn't 100% effective, even if you use the pill and a condom, you could still become pregnant.

In other words, if you don't want a baby, don't have sex, it's as simple as that. :)

[Bural21]

Bural, you do realize that even birth control isn't 100% effective, even if you use the pill and a condom, you could still become pregnant.

In other words, if you don't want a baby, don't have sex, it's as simple as that. :)

I understand, completely. However, we as teenagers should at least know our options shall we choose to engage in sex.

[Pringles407]

Altenweg, are you actually trying to say that you think all teenagers should be abstinent? Cause I've read a lot of your posts from this topic, and I thought you wanted to find a way to help teenage girls so that they would not become pregnant, but if you really think telling them to stay abstinent is going to work, you're full of yourself. I'm not trying to be a , but it's the truth.

[Alty]

Pringles. I'm full of myself? Why, because I actually care about these teens? Yes I want to help teens not get pregnant. You do realize that the only way to prevent pregnancy 100% is abstinence, right?

Stick around, read some of the pregnancy threads, the teen threads, maybe then you'll realize why I'm concerned.

Most of the teens that come to this site are sleeping with a different guy every night, or more than one. They think it's all a game, until they're pregnant, then they come here asking for advice. Too late, the buns in the oven, nothing we can do now.

Sex education is a joke. And yes, birth control is better than nothing at all. If only teens could be trusted to use it all the time. Another thing we get a lot of. "I'm on the pill, but I forgot to take it for 5 days, and my boyfriend and I had sex and he didn't use a condom. Can I get pregnant?" I've got news for you, even if you had taken your pill regularly and used a condom, you could still get pregnant, but yes, missing your pills has definitely increased the odds.

I was a very promiscuous teen, but I got lucky. Today's teens seem to be worse than I was back in the day, which is pretty darn scary.

So, yes, abstinence is the only sure fire way of preventing pregnancy and STD's. A 14 year old has no business having sex, no matter how "protected" they are.

If you don't want a baby or an STD, then don't have sex. It's really that simple.

If you want to do adult things, then you better be ready for adult consequences.

[Synnen]

I'm moronic for making people actually take the consequences for their actions?

YOU are obviously from the newest generation of adults if you think that people shouldn't have to!

I, too, got pregnant at 17 to a guy that was my whole world for 3 years. I, too, realized that there was no future with this guy, and that really--I was in the beginning stages of an abusive relationship (cutting me off from friends and family, calling me names, setting the blame for everything on me, etc).

*I* chose adoption. *I* chose to get away from that guy, and to not be a burden on my family (who could not afford to have another mouth to feed) or on society (who really shouldn't pay the penalty for MY mistakes). I also knew that there was no way I wanted my child growing up in the lower class area I grew up in, and never having new clothes that didn't come from charity, and never having toys that didn't come from an Adopt-a-family Christmas package---I chose to give my child a better life than that. And THEN I went on to make a better life for myself.

NOW--I'm unable to get pregnant. I gave away the only chance at having a child I'll ever have. I don't regret it, though it makes me very sad at times. The REASON I don't regret it is that it made me grow up very fast getting pregnant with her, and making choices that involved her whole LIFE in just the 9 months I was pregnant---but because of that, she and I BOTH had better lives than we would have if I'd've kept her.

YES, teens should have to make those tough choices---and NO, Welfare shouldn't be an option that's as easy as it is.

My sister has 5 kids from an extremely abusive marriage. Since he's in jail, there's no child support, and since her family is all hours away from her (she stayed in our hometown, and my parents and I have had to leave because of employment), she's extremely pressed for money each month to make ends meet. Without Welfare, she wouldn't be able to make it. Period. She's also an extreme case--and she STILL tries to depend more on herself and her church before ASKING for help from the state each month. She ALSO had her kids during a marriage, AFTER she was out of high school and had a job and all that jazz.

So yes--unemployed, underaged women who get pregnant SHOULD have to live with that, whether that means they get nothing but medical care for their child from the state, and EVERYTHING else comes out of pocket, even if that means 3 jobs and no time with the child, or marriage to the guy that was FINE to have sex with but not so great for marrying so that he's forced to help with that burden as well, or choosing to give their child to someone better equipped mentally and financially to raise a child through adoption.

I'm just tired of paying for stupid little girls who can't follow the directions on their birth control or who were too busy passing notes in sex ed to pay attention to have kids, when there's no WAY the taxpayers would front the $20-$60k for me to get pregnant through IVF. Why SHOULD we pay for those kids? Adoption is a perfectly viable option for people who can't afford their kids, and there are tens of thousands of people waiting ot adopt.

And please--I know how hard it is to place the child you love into someone else's arms, so let's not go with the "unloving witch" attack when you respond, hmmmm? I think it's more a matter of how strong you are, not a matter of how much you love your child.

[tarag89]

Teens think they are invincible. It's the same reason they engage in other reckless behavior like drugs, sneaking out of the house, etc. They think, "It won't happen to me" And honestly, for most it doesn't. Most teens who engage in such reckless activities escape harm and turn out a-ok in their adult life. That's not to say their activities should be condoned, but it certainly helps with your world view when you and all your friends are having sex and doing drugs and nothing bad happens.

I blame parents, by the way. It all starts at home... (in most cases, anyway)

I do have to agree with you on the parents being to blame. I myself when threw a really tough time as a teenager I got pregnant at 15 was kicked out and living on my own at sixteen and in that time I did a lot of stupid things. What I did cost me custody of my son and to this day I'm still fighting for him. For a while I blamed my home life the fact that my moms an alcoholic and my dads a drug addict, but when I sit and think, I'm the one that made the path I was on no one else. I'm the only person to blame for what I did and these teenagers should be to. There parents are not making them have sex let alone unprotected sex. There not making them do drugs, and there not making them drink. These kids need to take responsibility for there actions and stop blaming other people. And your right teenagers do seem to think that there invincible but it's us adults that need to show them that its not OK to do what there doing and to try and help them make the right decision.
I don't know how anyone else feels about this but I feel that we need to set better examples for our own children and maybe they won't make the mistakes that we have made.

[icandy]

The parents are part of the problem. I was talking to a woman I know the other day and she was saying how she had to sign a form for her daughter to have a sex ed class at school. She said she didn't want strangers talking to her children about sex, because they would also be talking about same sex relationships. I ask her what she had told her daughter about sex and her answer was the same thing my mom told me. "If you bring a baby home you're out of here". Needless to say I had no further comments for her.

All I have to say to parents is the more you forbid something the more they want it. There is always going to be pressure from friends and it is better to educate than to forbid.

[CapriceeBabyyxxx]

Hiya my name is Caprice I am 12and I've had sex without a condom about 5 times now . But my mum and dad made me get an implant so I don't get preagant but they still seid to use a condom so I won't catch anything , I do what a baby when I'm 15 and I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me I've allways wanted kids since the age off 9 but I only started having sex when I'm 12 my age now. I just want to say to all teen girls out there that even though I havant had a baby I have had a virtel baby are they put the level up to screaming and I felt like I was on my own and I went out shopping with it in a pushcair and it broke on me and the bags broke and I know how you teen mothers feel , it is hard work and I've seen on the internt about this girl aged 11 preagant and she smokes 20 fags a day and has been drinking cider and beer and stuff like that from the age off 9 and its bad , because lately people from the age of 10 ! Witch is horroring at that age , and getting preagant and keeping a baby , a child can not look arfter a child. And I think it can be there mother and fathers falut for letting there child smoke 20 fags a day and be 5 months preagant its just wrong and children shouldn't be having sex at there age. X love caprice x

[CapriceeBabyyxxx]

Hiya my name is Caprice I am 12and I've had sex without a condom about 5 times now . But my mum and dad made me get an implant so I don't get preagant but they still seid to use a condom so I won't catch anything , I do what a baby when I'm 15 and I don't care what anyone says or thinks about me I've allways wanted kids since the age off 9 but I only started having sex when I'm 12 my age now. I just want to say to all teen girls out there that even though I havant had a baby I have had a virtel baby are they put the level up to screaming and I felt like I was on my own and I went out shopping with it in a pushcair and it broke on me and the bags broke and I know how you teen mothers feel , it is hard work and I've seen on the internt about this girl aged 11 preagant and she smokes 20 fags a day and has been drinking cider and beer and stuff like that from the age off 9 and its bad , because lately people from the age of 10 ! Witch is horroring at that age , and getting preagant and keeping a baby , a child can not look arfter a child. And I think it can be there mother and fathers falut for letting there child smoke 20 fags a day and be 5 months preagant its just wrong and children shouldn't be having sex at there age. X love caprice x
:o

[Synnen]

Hiya my name is Caprice i am 12and ive had sex without a condom about 5 times now . but my mum and dad made me get an implant so i dont get preagant but they still seid to use a condom so i wont catch anything , i do what a baby when im 15 and i dont care what anyone says or thinks about me ive allways wanted kids since the age off 9 but i only started having sex when im 12 my age now. i just want to say to all teen girls out there that even though i havant had a baby i have had a virtel baby are they put the level up to screaming and i felt like i was on my own and i went out shopping with it in a pushcair and it broke on me and the bags broke and i know how you teen mothers feel , it is hard work and ive seen on the internt about this girl aged 11 preagant and she smokes 20 fags a day and has been drinking cider and beer and stuff like that from the age off 9 and its bad , because lately people from the age of 10 ! witch is horroring at that age , and getting preagant and keeping a baby , a child can not look arfter a child. and i think it can be there mother and fathers falut for letting there child smoke 20 fags a day and be 5 months preagant its just wrong and children shouldnt be having sex at there age. x love caprice x

While this thread is 2 years old, I just HAVE to respond to this.

Do you have ANY idea of the irony of your post?

YOU are a child! You shouldn't be having sex! You should most DEFINITELY not get pregnant at age 15! How will you support that child? YOUR mommy and daddy shouldn't be responsible for YOUR baby--do you have a job? Insurance? A car?

You're right---a child cannot look after a child, and children should not be having sex.

That's why most places have age of consent laws set to be at LEAST 16, and ADULTHOOD set at age 18.

When you're 18, you get to stop being a child.

Stop having sex, and FORGET the baby thing. You know absolutely NOTHING about it. Why tie yourself down before you've even lived?

[Gemini54]

Hiya my name is Caprice i am 12and ive had sex without a condom about 5 times now . but my mum and dad made me get an implant so i dont get preagant but they still seid to use a condom so i wont catch anything , i do what a baby when im 15 and i dont care what anyone says or thinks about me ive allways wanted kids since the age off 9 but i only started having sex when im 12 my age now. i just want to say to all teen girls out there that even though i havant had a baby i have had a virtel baby are they put the level up to screaming and i felt like i was on my own and i went out shopping with it in a pushcair and it broke on me and the bags broke and i know how you teen mothers feel , it is hard work and ive seen on the internt about this girl aged 11 preagant and she smokes 20 fags a day and has been drinking cider and beer and stuff like that from the age off 9 and its bad , because lately people from the age of 10 ! witch is horroring at that age , and getting preagant and keeping a baby , a child can not look arfter a child. and i think it can be there mother and fathers falut for letting there child smoke 20 fags a day and be 5 months preagant its just wrong and children shouldnt be having sex at there age. x love caprice x
:o

:: I'm speechless :: :eek:

I could say a million things, but I'm lost for words at the horror of it all.

[shazamataz]

Wowzer!

How can a 12 year old say that they really want a baby and they are responsible, yet then turn around in the same paragraph and say it's just wrong for children to have babies... What the... :confused:

[CapriceeBabyyxxx]

Look I understand what you lot are saying but the thing is , your not me you havant been through things I have. Because I want a kid at 15 its because I don't want my child going though the hits and punches I get from my grandad who I live with. And he is dying and not trying to sound horrible but I can't what for him to die beause I've lived with him since I was 3 and gone though so much and I've allways been told to keep my mouth shut but now I can finely speak out and not be afried that he is going to hurt me. And the comments you have just seid are HURTFULL. And I've been going through depressoin and my uncle has just died arfter a gang jumped him and stabbed him and set him a light. Now please can you all stop saying hurtfull things to me x