[Marriedguy]

Would you abandon your career to be a stay at home mom?

[Fr_Chuck]

To many "mothers" it is not abandoning a career, it is going to do the most important career that of being a mother. So many women feel this is the most important thing they can do, to stay home and raise their child, so they see this as a career move to raise their child.

[ang8318]

I have a two month old son. Prior to my maternity leave I was working as an RN 40-55 hours per week, now its getting time for my leave to end, and I would have to say that I am not abandoning my job if I choose not to go back, but choosing a new job... taking care of my son. It is a hard decision, and I still do not know what I am going to do.

[Marriedguy]

First, I hope I didn't offend anyone, that was not my attention. It have the upmost respect for women who stay home to raise their children. I understand that raising the little ones is 24 hour a day and 7 day a week job.

There are a group of women who believe that staying is abandoning your career and taking away your independence.

This ties into another question why is the best age to get married, have kids, and get a house.

[ang8318]

[QUOTE=Marriedguy]First, I hope I didn't offend anyone,

No Offense taken.:)

[N0help4u]

I would figure out how to cut expenses to be a stay at home mom and figure out the pros and cons.
Personally I would stay at home.
I don't know how women do it. By the time they pay for daycare and the second vehicle payment, gas and all so they can work and all I don't see how they have much take home pay unless they are making big money.
I would probably work part time until they were in school all day and then work more hours.

I have been hearing more about moms that realized if they give up the second car, don't have the daycare expenses and do without all the little things they don't need they are just about as well off financially as going to work.

[Alty]

I am a stay at home mom and have been for 9 years. I love being at home with my kids, and I don't think that I abandoned my career when my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home. I was a Commercial Auto Underwriter, now I'm a mom.

Being a mom is the hardest job I've ever had (and I worked as a janitor for two years starting at the age of 14) there are no coffee breaks, no lunch breaks, no holidays and no sick days. You don't make any money, but what you gain from it is priceless. There are benefits, you get to raise your children, not someone making minimum wage that isn't even allowed to give your child a hug if they hurt themselves, because they could be sued for inappropriate touching.

Everyone has the right to choose what is best for them, some people don't have the luxury of staying home with their kids. I consider myself lucky to be a stay at home mom and I wear the title with pride.

[nicki143]

I am lucky enough to work from home. One of the reasons was to be able to be here for my children but if I did not work at home and I thought it would benefit my children yeah I would

[kraz]

I chose to do that over fourteen years ago and stayed at home for ten years. Decided I wouldgo back to work eventually, So I change career paths, went back to college, came out a Librarian and now work in a school, so I get all the school holidays with my child.
Best thing I ever did was resign from my job, reevaluate my life with my son and where I wanted it to be and what was more important for me and my family. No regrets!

[sasha_1]

This topic has been much discussed at my work place :). Personally, I would like to keep on working even after being a mom (I am not yet), with some adjustments, like flex hours, work from home. Maybe I will take a short term disablity for 6 months and stay home. Depends on the circumstance then. But yes, if the situation absolutely demands it, then I would be ready to give up my career.

I am not fortunate like some women that I can decide to stay home if I want to, both mine and my hubby's green card is in process through my work, plus 2 pays gives a lot of added advantages and flexibility in spending.

And it's not only about second car payment and day care. I can't speak about other professions. I am in software, and if you stop working for some years and start again, then you will have to start where you have left off or below that while watching your colleagues or friends who started with you way above you.

I have seen all types of mom with kids:
1. A working mom with 2 kids juggling day care, hectic work, still happy.
2. My sister doing the same, and she is not in US and you don't have daycare option where she is.
3. Another lady with a toddler who had to put her kid in daycare and start working after a break of few years so they could pay the mortgage.
4. Still another lady who is a stay home mom, never worked, but still I always hear her saying she does not get time to do anything as she is busy with kid.

So it all depends on the individual and how you manage time. And I strongly believe it is the quality of time you spend with your kid that matters, not quantity.

I have been brought up in a single parent home as my father passed away when I was a kid. My mother had to work for us, I feel that I missed on some good moments of life as having to fix my own dinner after returning from school instead of being served a hot plate. But nowhere I feel that it has stopped me in becoming a mature and loving individiual, instead it has taught me to value time with family and be an organized person.