[cathy008]

I'm going to be 21 this July, and to be honest with you I'm surprised I've lived this long!
My whole life everyone I've ever trusted and cared for has let me down when I've needed them most, which now means I don't feel I can trust anyone.
Since my 15th birthday a lot of bad things have happened to me, and I don't trust anyone enough to talk to them, so I've had to go through it all alone!
Ive always had a real hatered towards people because all they ever do is hurt me.
Ive risked my life on a few occasions for my so-called friends, but they won't help me one bit!
I've been cutting my wrists since I was in high school as it's the only way I feel I can cope, but over the past few months I've been feeling really depressed and have been cutting them too much, that I'm finding it hard to hide 'em.
Ive been calling in sick at work a lot as reacently when I was a work I just started crying but couldn't tell anybody why. Now they prob think I'm nuts!
Ive been thinking a lot about taking mylife for sometime, but I don't think I should. I just feel so empty and hollow that I really don't see the point in living like this.

I do think I need help, but worried that people will think I'm just seeking attention or something! Also if I did seek help, I wudnt want my family knowing. (I don't get on with them)

I really don't know what I should do, I need to talk to someone, but don't trust anyone. I can't afford a professionall and feel too silly to ask for help from a doctor!

Does anyone have any ideas??

[Wondergirl]

I'm so glad you posted! There is lots of help out there for you!

Google or check in the phone book for a suicide or mental health hot line number in your area code or as an 800 number. If you can't find one, PM me for guidance.

Your county health department offers mental health counseling on a sliding scale, based on your income. Many counselors in private practice will do the same. You really need to talk with someone beside yourself, in your own head. As for trust, counselors are supposed to keep client information private. And counselors have heard everything, so don't hold back! (I sometimes was told by a client that he or she had to tell me something that would shock my socks off, but my socks stayed on my feet. Unfortunately--or perhaps fortunately--there's nothing new under the sun.)

Please continue to post and let us know how you are doing. PM me or any other expert (except maybe the plumbing one, but heck, he might be helpful too!) for encouragement and a little push if you need one. Posting here is especially great because lots of people will see it and will be happy to give you a boost.

[firmbeliever]

Hello Cathy,

I agree with wondergirl... keep posting.

Try some of these links,they maybe of help to you.
Depression,suicide: Cognitive-Emotional Self-Help-v
If You’re Feeling Suicidal: Advice, Coping Tips, and Help

[J_9]

Cathy,

Are you the same girl in this post?

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ng-188519.html

[smith1012]

Focus externally, not internally. By doing so you avoid thoughts of the past and future. Think about what you are doing right now and you'll be surprised how you'll life will turn around for the better. I once had problems with thinking negatively but as of now I'm practicing with living in the moment and few occasions where I look back at the past and into the future.

HTH