[hossbonnam]

Why does a child need both parents?
Ive heard this time and time again and I know its
For there well being but what specific benefits do children reap.

Im only asking because my ex-wife keeps insisting I NOT be in the kids life... except for the support checks of course. I was wondering what facts I might bring up to raise awareness in her mind so that she not think this way.

I mean I couldn't imagine my dad abandoning me,
Even though he wasn't the best father in the world.

Im sure if I was the deadbeat version, that she
Would gripe for the opposite action... LOL

According to the state of Ohio (while encouraging visitation) being a good father is mereley paying the child support. (I guess so the state doesn't have to fill in the financial void).

[450donn]

Children learn from both parents. Sit down and write a list of the things you learned from your mother and then another for your father. My dad was not there either. So my moms boy friend had to substitute. He was a drunk, aside from that I learned how to fish, setup a tent, make a fire, how to put in and take out a boat, how to walk on a log raft without falling in. From my mom, I learned how to cook. Well I actually taught myself how to cook so I could eat. How to sew on my own. I think you get the picture. Besides the physical stuff, children learn from both parents how to interact with people of the opposite sex, how to talk to people. There are thousands of thing a child will learn from each parent. That is why it is so important to be a part of your children's lives.

[DaBaAd]

The biological family, mother AND father is the most basic union of any child's life. Both mother and father are needed to establish a life-long bond of love, trust, and companionship. If one is missing in the child's life, then the manifestation of this his/her personality is left entirely dependent on those involved.

A child bonds with both mother and father differently, but it is extremely important to be part of their lives whether you are married or not.

[excon]

Why does a child need both parents?

Hello hoss:

That's the wrong question. The answer is, of course, obvious to you and everybody else - EXCEPT your ex.

The correct question is, how do I get my ex to understand these simple little things? The answer to THAT question is, YOU DON'T. If you could, you wouldn't have gotten divorced. You certainly ain't going to change her now.

What you CAN do is use the court to FORCE her to acquiesce to court ordered visitation whether she likes it or not. You are NOT going to make her a good mother.

excon

[this8384]

Hello hoss:

That's the wrong question. The answer is, of course, obvious to you and everybody else - EXCEPT your ex.

The correct question is, how do I get my ex to understand these simple little things? The answer to THAT question is, YOU DON'T. If you could, you wouldn't have gotten divorced. You certainly ain't gonna change her now.

What you CAN do is use the court to FORCE her to acquiesce to court ordered visitation whether she likes it or not. You are NOT gonna make her a good mother.

excon

Exactly!! I've seen the same thing in multiple divorces: parents are still children themselves so they think they'll get back at each other but all they're doing is hurting the kids... not right!

[dunno]

Here are statistics if that's what you wanted:

The hard truth is that fatherless homes produce the vast majority of troubled children. A father's influence, just like a mother's, is essential and irreplaceable.

Here is the chilling truth about our children who come from fatherless homes;

*

63% of youth suicides
*

70% of juveniles in State Institutions
*

71% of teen pregnancies
*

71% of High School dropouts
*

75% of children in chemical abuse centers
*

85% of youth sitting in prisons
*

85% of children with behavioral problems
*

90% of homeless and runaway children

[ldyastrid]

Bitter ex... sad that she'd want to deprive her children just because she's angry with you!

Fathers are as important as mothers - if either of them is out of the picture, the child/ren grow up with questions and needs that will never be met. One of the questions, if the missing parent is alive, is "why doesn't my mother/father love me enough to be a parent to me?" They will try to get that attention they crave from the missing parent by acting out or trying to fill that void in another way with other people, which will fall short. Fighting for your kids shows your child/ren that they are important enough to fight for them.

Mothers and Fathers fill different needs in children - none of which are more important than the other. And if the mother gets involved in another relationship, that other person might play the role as the father figure, but it's not enough... unless there was abuse from the dad to either the mother or the children... but that's another can of ick. But even abusive parents are allowed visitation - probably supervised, but still see the kids none-the-less.